Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Jennifer Aniston finally spoke up about the rumors that she dated Barack Obama.
Jennifer Aniston wants to clear up some rumors about her dating life. After being in the public eye for so long, she’s had her fair share of gossip, but she recently addressed one of the wildest stories.
During her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on October 2, she was asked about an article that claimed she was secretly dating former President Barack Obama. She couldn’t help but laugh at the idea.
Jennifer Aniston said that when she gets calls from her publicist, she often worries about what story will come out next, especially when a tabloid is involved. But when she heard the rumor about her and Barack Obama, she wasn’t upset. She quickly confirmed that it’s completely false.
She even mentioned that she has a better relationship with Michelle Obama than she ever did with Barack Obama.
Jennifer Aniston said, “It’s not true. I met him once, and I know Michelle better than him.” When Kimmel jokingly asked if there was anything more than friendship between her and Michelle, she laughed and denied it.
Jennifer Aniston’s denial of the dating rumor comes at an interesting time because October 3 is Barack and Michelle Obama’s 32nd wedding anniversary. Last year, to celebrate, Barack shared a special post on Instagram for Michelle, saying, “I love going through life with you by my side.” He also called her “brilliant, kind, funny, and beautiful,” and mentioned how lucky he feels to have her in his life.
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