According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Iconic actor has d.i.e.d today after shark attack..
Tamayo Perry, 49, has died after being killed by what is thought to have been a shark attack.Emergency Medical Services in Honolulu said Tamayo’s body was found on Sunday with several bite marks on it.
A lifeguard and surf instructor, who had roles in movies like Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and Blue Crush, died Sunday due to a suspected shark attack on Oahu’s North Shore, Hawaii, officials reported.
Tamayo Perry, 49, was a respected North Shore waterman and had served with Honolulu Ocean Safety for eight years, according to a statement by Honolulu Mayor Rick Blangiardi.
“It is with profound sadness that we mourn the loss of one of our incredibly dedicated City and County of Honolulu lifeguards, who tragically lost his life today in an apparent shark attack on the North Shore,” Blangiardi said. “Our hearts go out to his family, friends, and colleagues in Ocean Safety during this incredibly difficult time.”
Perry “exemplified bravery, commitment and a deep sense of duty, serving our community with unwavering dedication. His heroic actions and tireless efforts to ensure the safety of our residents and visitors will never be forgotten,” Blangiardi added.
Emergency Medical Services in Honolulu said Tamayo’s body was found on Sunday with several bite marks on it.
The Honolulu Emergency Services Department issued a statement writing a surfer was “fatally injured” in a shark attack off Goat Island on June 23, just before 1 p.m. local time.
The person who called the emergency services reported that the surfer’s body had multiple bite wounds.
His body was brought ashore by lifeguards using a Jet Ski, and EMS paramedics declared him dead at the scene, officials said. The surfer was identified as Perry, confirmed by Ocean Safety.
Acting Chief Kurt Lager of Honolulu Ocean Safety stated at a press conference, “Tamayo Perry was a lifeguard loved by all.”
Emilia Perry, a fellow surfer, said of her husband, “Tragic though his passing may be, he left this world doing what he loved, where he loved to do it.”
According to Surfer magazine, Perry was renowned for his expertise at Pipeline, one of the world’s most famous surf breaks, located off Ehukai Beach Park on Oahu’s north side.
The Encyclopedia of Surfing notes that he was close friends with singer Jack Johnson and was born and raised on Oahu’s east side.
Perry and his spouse ran a surf school together on the North Shore of Oahu.
On Monday, condolences poured in from across the surfing community.
“This one is hard to believe,” surfing legend Kelly Slater wrote, “Your truly lived the life you loved.”
We are so very sorry for this loss. May he rest in peace.
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