According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
PRAY FOR MELANIE GRIFFITH!
Melanie Griffith begs for prayers as her mother is evacuated from big cat sanctuary in path of ferocious LA wildfire that has gutted homes, destroyed 22,000 acres of land AND the set for Wipeout
Melanie Griffith asked for prayers after her mother was evacuated from a wildlife sanctuary because of raging wildfires in Los Angeles.
The actress wrote on Twitter: ‘Please say a prayer for all residents in the path of the #SandFire . My Moms place Shambala is being evacuated.’
Griffith’s 86-year-old mother, Tippi Hedren, opened the preserve in 1983 following on from her film Roar.
There are over 40 big cats – including lions, tigers, cougars, black and spotted leopards, servals, bobcats, and an Asian leopard cat – who are cared for at the ranch.
On Sunday evening, Griffith, 58, confirmed that her mom was safe and the beloved cats had been saved. She wrote: ‘Mom is safe! Shambala is safe. Now sending love and thanks to all the firefighters who saved her and the cats.’
They accept donations for The Roar Foundation, the organization that runs the center.
Sable Ranch – a filming set used in the A-Team, 24 and Supernatural and the site for the Wipeout set – has also been destroyed.
The blaze has grown ferocious new power two days after it broke out, sending so much smoke in the air that planes making drops on it had to be grounded.
Officials said it has run through the area ‘like a freight train’.
The latest figures released by the authorities say the blaze is at 20 percent containment and a total of 18 family homes have been gutted in the areas of Sand Canyon, Bear Divide and Little Tujunga.
On Saturday, authorities said the Sand Fire was at 20 per cent containment, but the U.S. Forest Service corrected that figure and said the fire remains at 10 per cent containment. Above firefighters battled the Sand Fire on Sunday
About 300 miles up the coast, crews were battling another blaze spanning 10,000 acres (16 square miles) north of the majestic Big Sur region.
Authorities say almost 1,700 firefighters who are being hindered by scorching temperatures of up to 112 degrees are battling the blaze in the mountains north of Los Angeles known as the Sand Fire.
On Sunday crews faced another day of hot weather, low humidity and high winds that could once again fan the fires’ explosive growth. Shifting winds sent smoke away from greater Los Angeles and into desert communities, where residents were warned about poor air quality.
Late Saturday evening, a man’s body was found outside a home on Iron Canyon Road in Santa Clarita. Detectives are working to determine whether he was killed by the blaze or another cause, Los Angeles County sheriff’s Lt. Rob Hahnlein said.
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