Smaller houses and apartments don’t stop many Japanese couples from sleeping in different beds or even rooms. This is not some kind of an intimate issue or problem with the relationship, but something that they believe is good for them.
We at Bright Side found out why married couples in Japan choose to sleep separately, and we really like their reasons.
They have different sleep schedules.
The first thing that makes Japanese couples decide to go to bed separately is different work schedules. Waking up your significant other just because you got home late from work or have to leave early won’t result in good quality rest for them. This is why spending the night in a different room makes sense. This will give them both an undisturbed and healthier sleep.
Babies sleep with their mothers.
Japanese mothers sleep with their children and this is considered very important, so the father needs to decide if he wants to share the same bed or go to a different room. Even science has proven that co-sleeping can help parents and children get a more restful sleep. It helps the child to maintain a stable temperature and heart rate (which is really critical in infancy) and at the same time, it decreases the chance of sudden infant death syndrome. Also, this contributes to the child having better self-esteem, becoming independent faster, and doing great in school.
For them, sleeping separately means peace.
While many couples who start to sleep alone think that divorce is at their door, the Japanese see it differently. They value their sleep a lot and they don’t want to be disturbed while sleeping. This means that they don’t need and don’t like to put up with snoring, restless sleep, kicking, etc. Even though some don’t have the opportunity to sleep in different rooms, they still wish they could get their beauty sleep.
Couples have a history of sleeping separately.
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Futons are filled with cotton, which provides support and comfort. In the past, only single sized ones were used as beds. So, even if you wanted to cuddle up with your loved one, you would have ended up between the sheets, on the cold floor, and you wouldn’t feel comfortable. Today there are families that still use this type of bedding, especially because it doesn’t take up a lot of space and it is easy to store.
Do you sleep separately from your partner? Do you think this type of practice might be even better for your relationship?
The Ring and the Revelation
I had planned it for months. Every extra shift, every skipped luxury, every penny saved went towards that little box. It wasn’t the biggest diamond, I knew that. But it was elegant, minimalist, exactly what I thought she’d appreciate. It felt like us – understated, genuine, built on something real, not flashy. I was so proud of it, so proud of the effort, so hopeful for the future it represented.
The moment arrived, the words tumbled out, earnest and heartfelt. I opened the box, my heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and pure, unadulterated love. And then, she looked at it. Not at me, not at the significance of the gesture, but at the ring itself.
Her reaction wasn’t joy, or tears, or even surprise. It was a dismissive glance, a slight frown, and then, she took the box from my hand and tossed it aside. “The diamond is too small,” she said, as if commenting on a minor imperfection in a piece of furniture.
My world tilted. The air left my lungs. Broken. That’s the only word that comes close. I felt utterly broken, exposed, and profoundly helpless. All the effort, all the love, all the hope – reduced to the size of a stone. It wasn’t just the ring she had rejected; it felt like she had rejected me, the part of me that had worked so hard, that loved her enough to offer everything I had. Her words, her casual dismissal, crushed me in a way I hadn’t thought possible.
I don’t remember exactly what I said, or if I said anything at all. I just remember the feeling of numb disbelief as I bent down, picked the small, rejected symbol of my love from the floor, and walked out.
Now, days later, my phone is a constant buzz. Her name flashes across the screen, message after message, call after call. She wants the ring back. Her ring, she calls it.
But honestly? Looking at the ring now, it doesn’t represent a future together anymore. It represents that moment, that crushing realization, the feeling of being utterly unseen and unappreciated. The desire, the hope, the love I felt in that moment of proposal – it’s gone. Washed away by the cold, hard truth of a diamond that was “too small.” I’m not interested anymore. Not in the ring, and not in trying to rebuild something that shattered so completely over something so superficial.
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