As Misha and Jerry sliced into the cake at their gender reveal party, expecting to see a telltale blue or pink sponge, they were shocked to find the cake was black inside. As they recovered from the surprise, they finally understood why Jerry’s mother, Nancy, had made such an odd choice—though the reason was even more absurd than they could have imagined.
This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of our lives. After two years of trying, endless doctor visits, and more tears than I could count, we were finally pregnant. It felt like everything was falling into place, like the universe had finally decided to give us our happily ever after.
“This is it, Misha,” Jerry said to me the night before the party. “We’re finally going to complete our family.”
“I know,” I said, smiling. “I can’t wait for our little one to come and turn our world upside down.”
We wanted to make the gender reveal special, so we decided on a big party. We invited family from both sides, hired a bakery for the cake, and handed the ultrasound results to Jerry’s mom, Nancy. She was thrilled to be in charge.
“I’ve got everything under control, Misha,” Nancy promised. “I’ll take care of the cake and get a special gift for my grandbaby. I just know it’s going to be a girl—I’m ready to spoil her rotten!”
Nancy had been eager to be involved ever since we announced the pregnancy, so it felt good to let her handle the cake. I was grateful she felt included.
As my mom and I set up for the party, the house was transformed into a Pinterest-perfect setting—pink and blue balloons tied to every chair, platters of food arranged on the table, and a banner that read, “He or She? Let’s See!” It was everything I had ever dreamed of.
The final touch was the beautiful white cake at the center of the room, ready for the big reveal. Jerry’s whole family was there—his cousins, brother, aunt—filling the house with excitement and chatter.
When Nancy arrived, I noticed she was dressed all in black. It struck me as strange, but I didn’t think much of it. Maybe she thought black was slimming or elegant. Who knew?
As everyone gathered around the cake, the energy in the room buzzed with anticipation. Phones were out, cameras ready to capture the big moment.
Jerry put his arm around me. “Ready?” he whispered.
“Let’s do this,” I grinned.
The countdown began.
“Three… two… one!”
We cut into the cake, expecting to see pink or blue inside. But when we pulled out the first slice, the room went silent. The cake was pitch black.
Not a hint of pink. Not a touch of blue. Just black.
My heart sank. Was this some kind of joke? No one was laughing. Everyone stood frozen, unsure whether to keep recording or put their phones down.
I glanced at Jerry, who looked just as confused as I felt. Then my eyes landed on Nancy, standing off to the side. She was dressed head to toe in black—black dress, black scarf, black shoes—and now she looked like she was… crying?
“Nancy?” I called out, frowning.
She wiped her eyes with a tissue, her makeup smudging. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice rising. “Why would you order a black cake?”
Jerry stepped in, his confusion turning to frustration. “Mom, what’s going on?”
Nancy dabbed at her eyes, trembling. “It’s not about the cake. It’s what I was told… I couldn’t risk it.”
“What are you talking about?” Jerry asked, his patience wearing thin.
Nancy took a deep breath. “Ten years ago, I visited a fortune teller with my sister. She told me something terrifying—that if my first grandchild was a boy, it would destroy your family, Jerry. And I’d be struck with a terrible illness.”
The room gasped. Jerry’s jaw dropped. “You’ve believed that nonsense for ten years?”
Nancy nodded, wringing her hands. “I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn’t ignore it. She was famous in our town—everyone said her predictions were always right.”
I stared at her, stunned. “So you sabotaged our gender reveal because of a fortune teller?”
Nancy hung her head. “I thought if it was a boy, maybe the black cake would… stop the curse. I even put bay leaves in it, hoping it would change something.”
I pressed my fingers to my temple, trying to process the absurdity. I knew Nancy could be a bit eccentric, but this? This was beyond anything I’d imagined.
Jerry let out a sharp breath. “Mom, you let a con artist control your decisions for ten years?”
Nancy’s lip quivered as she crumbled under the weight of her fear. “I was terrified of losing you. I couldn’t bear the thought that something bad would happen to your family because of me.”
Before anyone could respond, Jerry’s cousin Megan, who had been scrolling through her phone, chimed in.
“Wait, was it J. Morris? That fortune teller?”
Just men things
Ever wondered why the sound coming from the toilet varies depending on where men aim? It might seem like a trivial topic, but trust me, there’s an unspoken science behind it. The image above humorously captures a common yet rarely discussed phenomenon—how men instinctively adjust their bathroom technique to control the acoustics of their, well… business.
The Mystery of the Bathroom Sound Effects
Every man, whether consciously or subconsciously, knows the two sound modes of peeing:
- Loud Mode (High Volume) – When hitting the water directly.
- Silent Mode (Mute) – When aiming for the side of the toilet bowl.
The difference? It’s all about impact and surface area.
- When urine splashes directly into the water, it creates a distinct, loud sound—a signal to the world that a man is proudly relieving himself.
- When he strategically aims for the bowl’s side, the liquid flows smoothly down, reducing the noise.
And yes, most men instinctively switch between these modes depending on where they are, who’s around, or even their mood.
Why Do Men Care About Toilet Acoustics?
You might be thinking, “Why does this even matter?” Well, here’s why men unconsciously choose their “volume setting” while using the toilet.
1. The Stealth Mode: Keeping It Quiet
Ever found yourself in a quiet house in the middle of the night? Maybe you’ve woken up at 3 AM, needing to pee but not wanting to wake up the entire family. This is where silent mode comes into play.
- Aiming at the side of the bowl keeps things discreet.
- No awkward moments when someone hears you blasting a waterfall at ungodly hours.
- A smoother experience overall, especially in public or shared restrooms.
2. The Power Move: Making a Statement
On the flip side, sometimes men go full volume mode, making sure everyone within a 10-foot radius knows they’re handling business. Why?
- It’s a dominance thing—a way of asserting presence in the restroom.
- Some men simply don’t care and go for maximum efficiency.
- Others do it unknowingly, not realizing they could mute the performance.
The Psychology Behind Toilet Targeting
Believe it or not, the habit of adjusting aim isn’t just random—it’s psychological.
- Hitting the Water (Loud Mode): Feels direct, fast, and confident. Some even say it’s satisfying to hear the sound and know they’re “on target.”
- Aiming for the Sides (Silent Mode): Feels discreet, respectful, and considerate—especially in shared spaces.
Most men naturally alternate between both, depending on the situation.
How Environment Affects Aim Choices
Different settings influence whether men go full volume or whisper mode. Here’s a breakdown:
At Home: The Gentle Approach
- Most men reduce noise at home, especially if they live with family or a partner.
- Late-night bathroom trips? Silent mode to avoid waking anyone.
- Some may even sit down to pee to prevent unnecessary noise altogether.
At Work: The Public Restroom Strategy
- Office bathrooms mean one thing: tactical precision.
- Nobody wants their coworkers knowing their exact bathroom habits.
- Men tend to aim for the bowl sides to maintain professional bathroom etiquette.
In a Public Restroom: The Alpha Move
- If the restroom is busy, most men don’t hold back—it’s all about speed and efficiency.
- Loud mode is often default since no one really cares.
- But if someone’s in the next stall, there’s a slight urge to be more discreet.
At a Friend’s House: The Ultimate Dilemma
- The pressure is real—too loud, and you might get judged.
- Most guys will opt for silent mode to avoid embarrassment.
- Exception: If it’s a guys-only gathering, there’s a good chance nobody cares.
The Ultimate Hack: Controlling the Sound Like a Pro
For men who want absolute control over their bathroom acoustics, here’s a pro tip:
Start with the side of the bowl to reduce noise, then transition to the water midstream if needed. This method allows for both stealth and satisfaction.
Bonus tip: Standing too close increases splash-back; standing too far creates more noise. Finding the perfect middle ground is key.
Why This Is a Universal Male Experience
If you’re a guy, this probably resonates with you on a deep level—even if you’ve never thought about it before. It’s one of those unspoken “man things” that just exist.
And if you’re not a guy? Well, consider this an insight into the mind of men when it comes to something as simple as peeing.
Final Thoughts: The Humor in Everyday Habits
This topic might seem ridiculous at first, but it’s a real part of male behavior that no one talks about. Whether it’s controlling the noise level, adjusting aim based on the setting, or even treating it like an unofficial game of precision, men instinctively think about this every time they step into a restroom.
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