Psychologists Explain Things We All See in Dreams, and It’s Better Not to Ignore Them

Humankind has been trying to solve the mystery of dreams for as long as they’ve existed. Today there is even a special discipline in the study of dreams called oneirology. Those who prefer the esoteric side of things over science love to interpret their dreams according to various dream books and believe that they can predict the future. But psychologists think that dreams accurately reflect our current condition and that our subconscious tries to tell us something important via dreams from time to time.

We at Bright Side have learned that there are dreams that are common for all of us. Each of us sees these types of dreams every now and then. These dreams are caused by our ancient instincts, a cultural code, the experience of our ancestors, and personal experience. A psychologist and an expert in the field of dreams, Patricia Garfield, calls them “universal dreams” and says, “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe.”

1. Falling

In adulthood, we see falling more often than flying. According to the psychologist Ian Wallace, a dream about falling symbolizes the fear of losing control. You can’t control something in your life anymore because some drastic changes that you were not ready for took place in your life. Think about what sphere of life (work, relationships, finances, health, etc.) you feel most suppressed or vulnerable in as well as the ways to correct it.

Some scientists explain dreams about falling with simple physiology. As the body is sinking into sleep, the nerve system starts to calm down, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease and your falling asleep brain (especially if it was overwhelmed during the day) can perceive this physiological change as danger or an approaching death and therefore, makes you wake up suddenly.

The opposite version of this dream is flying which signifies freeing oneself from some hard burden and getting the desirable freedom.

2. Teeth that fall out and injuries

Our subconscious interprets teeth as an indicator of strength, and an ability to “bite off” a piece of the world. “Perhaps, you have recently been feeling unarmed and helpless in the real world,” Penney Peirce explains.

Patricia Garfield, another expert who’s studied dreams for many years, connects dreams about teeth falling out with hidden anger. As a rule, when we suppress anger, we clench our jaw, and our teeth might start to creak and grind. This dream might be signaling that it’s high time to get rid of negative feelings.

We often have dreams where someone close to us is wounded or sick. Those dreams cause consternation; however, from psychology’s point of view, things are not that bad. It’s simply our fears of the future and inevitable changes with those close to us. If you see your own death, it means that some part of you is dying and staying in the past to give space to something new.

“Opposite” dreams about birth and recovery usually appear when something new is taking place in a person’s life (like a new job or project) and symbolize a new experience.

3. Failure at an exam or public performance

You’re about to take an exam and suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything or you can’t say a word when standing in front of a big crowd. These dreams might be experienced not only by students and school kids but also by people who have graduated a long time ago. It’s likely that you had some stress shortly before going to sleep or was extremely worried about something. In this case, it’s better to take a short break and relax.

4. Being chased or persecuted

Such dreams have several different meanings. An expert in the field of dreams named Lauri Loewenberg says, “People that tend to avoid conflict, who are afraid of ruffling feathers or causing issues will have the recurring dream of being chased.”

Pay attention to the thing chasing you — they symbolize an unpleasant feeling or situation that you try not to think about in real life. It can be debt or addiction. Are you chased by a person you know? Think about what or who you associate this person with. They might indicate some other person or even a part of your personality that you don’t want to admit (like a hidden talent or aspiration) in your dream.

There’s also a theory saying that dreams about running away from someone are simply the echoes of primitive instincts that are in our genes thanks to our ancestors. All because they were constantly running from predators.

5. Inappropriate clothes or an absence of any

In your dream, you turn up in a public place wearing inappropriate clothes or not wearing anything at all. In this situation, it’s important to pay attention to the feelings you encountered in your dream. These dreams are usually followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment.

Psychologist Ian Wallace notes, “It means that you feel vulnerable at your new job or in your new relationship and are afraid that others will learn about your weaknesses and disadvantages.” However, if you don’t feel any shame in your dream but instead feel proud of yourself, the dream has the opposite meaning. Perhaps you feel a lack of recognition and admiration and would like others to see your talents as well as your personality more.

6. A catastrophe or an apocalypse

We’ve all dreamed about natural or man-made disasters where we’re scared for our own lives and the lives of those close to us. These dreams might indicate personal problems that have gotten out of control or are a result of feeling threatened by something. Of course, constant messages in the media about catastrophes and terrorist acts worsen the situation. As a result, we start feeling vulnerable in the modern world.

Sometimes, when having a nightmare, we try to shout out loud but feel that our voice has left us, which causes an even bigger fear. Psychologists explain it as sleep paralysis. During the last phase of sleep, when we have dreams, our brain purposefully paralyzes the body so that we can lie still and not “live” in our sleep by running, jumping, etc. People who have sleep paralysis usually wake up before the end of the last phase and enter a state between sleep and reality for a short period. This can be felt as an inability to move, speak, and, in some cases, breathe.

7. Faulty equipment or vehicles

You try to use some gadget or device, and it breaks right away. For example, your phone stops working, and you can’t call anyone. According to Patricia Garfield, these dreams are more often experienced by women and symbolize worries about relationships or losing an emotional connection with someone.

Dreams in which you’re trying to operate a vehicle that doesn’t work properly or breaks down are in the same category. You are likely missing support and can’t cope with a difficult life situation by yourself.

8. Pregnancy

As strange as it might sound, it’s not only women who can have dreams about pregnancy. A psychologist name David Bedrick says, “Pregnancy symbolizes something new growing inside us.” You subconsciously dream about “giving birth” to a new fascinating creative project. It can be anything from writing a book to repairing a house. It’s time to set a goal and show the world how you can take on this new role.

If you’re not pregnant in real life, you may be seeking fulfillment after having such a dream.

9. Being late

Dreams that have you running after a departing train or running late for an important meeting can occur quite often. According to a dream expert, Michael R. Olsen, they can symbolize the fear of missing out on something very important in your relationships or in the upbringing of your child, for example. If you’re constantly overwhelmed and don’t have much time to accomplish things in real life, your subconscious is signaling that it’s time for you to reconsider your schedule and free up time for really important things.

10. An unknown room

Dreams about new rooms are about self-knowledge. If you find yourself in an unknown house in your dream, it means that you don’t know yourself well and try to neglect some sides of your character. A separate unfamiliar room symbolizes that you have a hidden talent, skill, or opportunity that you don’t use.

A psychotherapist named Eddie Traversa thinks that we subconsciously associate some rooms with certain processes. A kitchen is a place where products get transformed into a finished dish which means that you’re currently going through some inner changes. A bathroom is a symbol of freeing oneself from unnecessary baggage. It might symbolize that it’s time to get rid of something that is not needed any longer. A bathroom is a symbol of cleansing and it means that you feel the necessity to clarify things or see them in a different light. A bedroom signifies the things that worry you in your romantic relationship.

Have you ever experienced any of these dreams or do you usually see something different? Please tell us about it in the comments!

I Kept Returning to the Same Café and Tipping $50 Each Time for a Reason the Waitress Couldn’t Imagine

For years, I drove two hours every Friday to visit a small suburban café, leaving unusually large tips for one particular waitress. What she didn’t know was that I carried a life-changing secret in my purse. I just wished I could find the courage to share it.

The Friday evening traffic crawled along the interstate as I made my way out of downtown. My colleagues at the law firm thought I was crazy to drive two hours just for dinner at some suburban café, but they didn’t understand. I didn’t go for the coffee or the sandwiches. I went to see her.

Woman in her 30s driving on a rainy road | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s driving on a rainy road | Source: Midjourney

The café sat on a quiet corner, its red-brick exterior softened by white trim. It also had a white awning and window boxes full of purple petunias. The bell above the door chimed as I pushed it open, and the familiar scent of coffee and fresh-baked pie made me feel at home.

She looked up when I walked in—the waitress with kind eyes and silver-streaked hair. Her name tag read “Martha,” but I’d known that long before I ever set foot in this place.

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café with a kind smile | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café with a kind smile | Source: Midjourney

Every time I saw her, I thought about what I held in my purse. And yet, I never knew if I would be brave enough to show it to her that day.

“Welcome back, hon,” she said, already reaching for the coffee pot. “Your usual spot?”

I nodded, sliding into my regular booth by the window. The vinyl seats squeaked beneath me, and the tabletop showed years of wear under its polished surface.

Woman in her 30s sitting in the booth of a café looking expectant | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s sitting in the booth of a café looking expectant | Source: Midjourney

Martha set down a mug of black coffee and pulled out her order pad, though we both knew what I wanted. “Apple pie and an espresso?” she asked, her pen hovering over the paper.

“Yes, please.”

Her smile carried a warmth that made my chest ache. Did she ever wonder about me? Did she even remember me?

The truth sat heavy in my purse, wrapped in a manila envelope that was starting to show wear from months of being carried back and forth. Inside were the documents from the adoption agency, the ones that had turned my world upside down just a few months ago.

Woman in her 30s sitting in the booth of a café holding a purse and looking worried | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s sitting in the booth of a café holding a purse and looking worried | Source: Midjourney

I still remember the day I finally confronted my adoptive parents about my past. Mother had been arranging flowers in their living room, each stem placed with surgical precision.

“We gave you everything,” she’d said, not bothering to look up from her roses. “The best schools, the finest opportunities. Why isn’t that enough?”

“Because it’s not about things, Mother. It’s about knowing who I am.”

Woman in her 30s looking upset while her mother stands in the background with her arms crossed in an expensive foyer | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s looking upset while her mother stands in the background with her arms crossed in an expensive foyer | Source: Midjourney

“You’re one of us,” Father had interjected from behind his iPad. “That’s who you are. But if you insist on pursuing this… project, contact the agency yourself. We won’t stand in your way.”

His tone made it clear they wouldn’t help, either. After 38 years, I should have expected nothing less. My adoptive family had always treated emotions like unwelcome houseguests.

Luckily, I didn’t have trouble contacting the agency, and their response arrived faster than I’d expected. As I read through the documents in my condo, pieces of my past clicked into place.

Woman in her 30s sitting on a couch in the living room of a condo reading documents and looking surprised | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s sitting on a couch in the living room of a condo reading documents and looking surprised | Source: Midjourney

My birth mother had died bringing me into the world. My birth father had been too overwhelmed by grief and responsibility, so he had walked away. And then there was Martha—my foster mother for two precious years.

She was the one spot of warmth I remembered from my entire childhood. Unfortunately, her husband’s cancer diagnosis forced them to make an impossible choice.

Martha returned with my pie, setting it down with the same care she always showed. “Anything else you need, sweetie?”

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café smiling and holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café smiling and holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney

I opened my mouth, willing the words to come. The envelope pressed against my ribs through my purse. Just tell her, I thought. Just reach in, pull it out, and tell her.

Instead, I shook my head and smiled weakly. “No, thank you.”

She lingered a moment longer than usual, and I wondered if she sensed something. Did she see how my hands shook slightly as I picked up my fork?

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café frowning and lingering by a booth | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform in a café frowning and lingering by a booth | Source: Midjourney

If she did, she said nothing and went to another table while I started eating my pie. When I finished, I left my usual $50 tip on the table. It was excessive for coffee and pie, but how do you put a price on lost time?

Maybe I also left so much because I felt guilty for not being brave enough to tell her who I was today, either. Why was it that I could face the most intimidating lawyers in court without sweating, but this part of my past had me acting like a little girl?

I was disappointed in myself, so I stood. Next Friday, I’ll do it for sure, I promised.

Woman in her 30s with a brown leather purse looking disappointed standing by a booth in a café | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s with a brown leather purse looking disappointed standing by a booth in a café | Source: Midjourney

Rain had started to fall heavily outside. I fumbled with my umbrella, almost dropping my keys on my way to my car.

“Hey, you!”

I froze, my keys hovering near the car door lock.

“Why are you doing this?!”

I turned to see Martha standing a few feet away, still in her work apron. She held up the money I’d given her.

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform holding money in one hand and looking concerned outside a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform holding money in one hand and looking concerned outside a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

“Every week, you come in,” she continued, taking a step closer. “You sit quietly, leave these large tips, and disappear. Why?”

My heart pounded so hard I thought it might break through my ribs. This was the moment I’d both longed for and dreaded. Yet, I knew I had to take this chance.

“I… I have something for you.” My voice sounded strange to my own ears as I reached into my purse with trembling fingers.

The envelope was slightly bent at the corners now.

Woman's hand handing over an envelope in a rainy parking lot | Source: Midjourney

Woman’s hand handing over an envelope in a rainy parking lot | Source: Midjourney

“Could you please read this?” I asked, holding it out. “When you have a moment?”

Martha took it slowly, confusion drawing her brows together. “What is this about?”

“It’s about me,” I whispered. “About us.”

She opened it right there, heedless of the rain. I watched her face as she read and saw the moment recognition dawned. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she stumbled backward.

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform holding a manila envelope and looking shocked while standing outside a red-bricked café in the rain | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 50s wearing a waitress uniform holding a manila envelope and looking shocked while standing outside a red-bricked café in the rain | Source: Midjourney

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “Sarah? My little Sarah?”

I nodded, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Yeah…”

We just looked at one another for an infinite moment.

“Oh, sweetie. I see from these documents that you must have figured out what happened. But you have to understand that John… my husband, your foster father… he got so sick,” she said finally. “The bills kept piling up. This couple came along. They were so wealthy. They could give you everything we couldn’t.”

“I understand perfectly,” I said softly, and I did. I knew they did what they thought was best for me. She didn’t need to explain herself. “What happened to John?”

Woman in her 30s talking to a woman in her 50s in a rainy parking lot outside a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s talking to a woman in her 50s in a rainy parking lot outside a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

“Cancer took him three years after you were adopted…” She swallowed hard. “He loved you so much, Sarah. We both did. Every day since we let you go, I’ve wondered if we made the right choice.”

“I have… fragments of memories,” I admitted. “Someone reading ‘Goodnight Moon.’ The smell of cookies baking. A man’s laugh. Me calling you Momma. I always told myself I was making it up.”

Martha nodded through her tears. “You wouldn’t go to sleep without that book,” she smiled. “And John would spend hours in the kitchen with you, letting you ‘help’ make cookies. You were only two, but you were so determined to do everything yourself. As soon as you could speak, you called us Momma and Papa.”

Little girl standing on a stool helping make cookies | Source: Midjourney

Little girl standing on a stool helping make cookies | Source: Midjourney

The rain came down harder, soaking us even more. Eager to hear more, we ran and waited below the awning in front of the café.

Martha told me about my early days, about the love that had filled their modest home. I shared stories about growing up with my adoptive parents. I was financially secure, yes, but emotionally… that was a different story.

“I contacted the agency a few months ago and started coming here,” I confessed after telling her about my current life and career. “Every time I tried to tell you, I lost my nerve.”

Woman in her 30s talking to a woman in her 50s beneath the awning of a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s talking to a woman in her 50s beneath the awning of a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

“So you left those tips instead?” Martha’s eyes crinkled with understanding.

“It was the only way I knew how to reach out.”

Suddenly, we heard a sharp tap on the window. It was Martha’s manager, beckoning her inside. “I have to go back to work,” she told me, her eyebrows pulling down apologetically. “Will you come next Friday?”

“Actually… could we maybe do breakfast instead? Tomorrow?”

“Oh, honey,” Martha said, wrapping me into the best hug I’d ever gotten. “I would love nothing more.” When we separated, she pulled out her phone. “Here, write down my number.”

Woman in her 30s hugging a woman in her 50s, smiling and emotional, beneath the awning of a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s hugging a woman in her 50s, smiling and emotional, beneath the awning of a red-bricked café | Source: Midjourney

“Thank you,” I said, after putting my phone back in my pocket. “Bye, Momma.”

Martha’s hand flew to her mouth at my words. “Bye, sweetie. See you soon.”

The rain stopped as I drove back to the city, and stars peeked through breaks in the clouds.

I couldn’t wait to see her again.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew my life, despite its beginning, had been privileged; my adoptive parents had provided everything they could, paving the way for all my success. For that, I will always be grateful.

But sometimes, pure warmth and love are all a person needs. I had experienced that with Momma and Papa, and now, at least, I had her back in my life.

Woman in her 30s driving on a dark rainy road smiling brightly | Source: Midjourney

Woman in her 30s driving on a dark rainy road smiling brightly | Source: Midjourney

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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