A woman named Kate posted a story of how her son chose silence instead of defending her when his wife insulted her.
Namely, Kate loved to cook, but since her husband’s passing things changed and she somehow lost hold of that part of her. However, whenever a holiday was around the corner she would prepare the most delicious dishes to her son John, especially for Christmas when he would always come for his annual roast dinner.
This year, however, was a bit different since John’s wife, Liz, attended the family dinner for the first time. The two dated for quite some time, but over the course of a couple of years, she would always spend Christmas at her parents’ house.

Kate woke up early because she knew she needed time to prepare the main course, which was a chicken with gravy on the side, all the side dishes and desserts that her son loved.
As she was preparing the food, Liz entered the kitchen with her phone in her hand and started looking around. At that moment, she made a face as though she smelled something terrible, but Kate, already sweating away, decided to ignore her and didn’t say a word.
Sadly, things turned for the worse when Liz suddenly exclaimed, “Hey, Kate, maybe we should order food. Not everyone wants what you’ve cooked. I don’t know if everyone enjoys your cooking, either. Every aspect of Christmas is supposed to be enjoyed by everyone. They should enjoy the food, too!”
As expected, Kate was shocked by her daughter-in-law’s harsh words.
“I saw John leaning against the archway, nibbling on a carrot. He altogether avoided my gaze, looking over me and out the window across the room. I held back my tears and bit my lip,” she wrote in her post.

As most of the guests arrived and sat on the table, it seemed like they all enjoyed the food Kate prepared for the night.
At one moment, John asked, “The food’s great, right? Everyone’s enjoying it?”
John’s uncle helped himself to another serving of roasted potatoes and asked, “Why wouldn’t we enjoy my sister’s food?”
“Because Liz said that the dinner might be ruined by Mom’s dishes. She wanted us to order in,” John explained.
“Nonsense!” Kate’s brother said as he dipped his potatoes into the gravy.

Hearing this, John looked at his mom and smiled. Kate then realized that her son didn’t react before because he was waiting for the right moment to teach his wife a lesson.
Liz turned red as everyone starred at her and Kate admitted that she even felt bad for her because it was her first Christmas with the family.
Later on, while packing the dishwasher and emptying dishes of food, Liz approached Kate.
“Kate, I’m sorry,” she said. “I was so wrong to do what I did. I am sorry, please understand.”
“Understand what?” Kate asked her.
“I only said that because John loves your food. He always talks about how you make all these special things for him. I can’t make a basic mac and cheese without him saying yours is better. I looked at the food, smelt all the delicious smells from this kitchen, and panicked.”
“Liz, you should know that a boy and his mother’s food is a relationship in and of itself,” Kate said with a laughter as she tried to diffuse the tension. “I can teach you how to cook just like me. My mother taught me everything I know.”
“Really?” Liz asked. “Even after I’ve been so horrible?”
“Yes,” Kate replied.
Thankfully, Kate understood that Liz’s intention wasn’t a nasty one, she simply felt threatened by her mother-in-law, but she soon learned it was for no reason.
Kate then took Liz to the Christmas tree and handed her the present she bough for her.
Psychologist Shares Two Rebuttals So People Don’t Insult You Ever Again

We’ve all encountered circumstances where someone tries to minimize us. These situations can hurt, whether at work, home, or even with friends. The problem is that insults frequently reveal more about the person who is insulting you than about you. They are from an insecure or unhappy background. In this approachable manual, we’ll explore two astute strategies recommended by a seasoned psychologist for effectively managing insults and potentially averting their recurrence.

Reacting with Compassion
Meet Grayson Allen, a University of Cambridge alumnus who offers amazing psychological insights. His first piece of advice on handling insults centers on empathy. When someone insults you, pause, take a deep breath, and move away. Then, with sincere concern or a convincing show of empathy, go up to the person and ask, “Are you okay?” The dynamics are immediately altered by this. By addressing the insulter’s unspoken problems, you’re putting out the fire rather than adding to it.

Empathy is a potent reaction. Demonstrating empathy and care can frequently diffuse tense situations. The insulter may experience a sense of understanding and hearing, which might drastically change how they act. Furthermore, empathetic responses demonstrate your poise and fortitude under duress and indicate that you will refrain from getting into a verbal altercation. When they understand you won’t respond badly but rather instead engage with them on a more profound human level, they frequently cease their offensive conduct.
The Power of Ignoring a Defamation
What was Grayson’s second pearl of wisdom? Sometimes it’s best to just brush it off. Yes, that’s how easy it is. Remain composed if someone makes an attempt to minimize you, especially in front of other people. Maintain your composure and carry on with the conversation as if nothing had happened. Don’t alter your expression. This may make the person who is insulting feel uncomfortable and expose their malicious purpose to others nearby.
An insult loses its force if it is ignored. By keeping your composure, you demonstrate that you are unaffected. This is a great approach to use in group settings since it puts the focus on the person who is insulting others and makes them appear careless. Your poise shows how strong and resilient you are emotionally, demonstrating how meaningless their remarks are to you.
Two responses to any slight. People will know not to tease or bully you in the future if you utilize these. These speaking strategies can help you acquire social respect, so make sure you master them! Social psychology, insult, bullying, comebacks, and
Selecting Empathy Above Insults
The fundamental tenet of Grayson’s approach is that insults stem from insecurity. Understanding this enables you to choose diplomacy over conflict. These reactions ultimately boil down to emotional intelligence, whether it is demonstrated by empathy or by ignoring the offense.
Making the choice to act with grace at trying times has a lasting effect. It demonstrates your ability to deal with challenging circumstances with grace and to skillfully navigate interactions with challenging individuals. The adage, “No one can humiliate you without your consent,” may come to mind. By being proficient in Grayson’s methods, you not only control the situation at hand but also provide the groundwork for future interactions that are more civil and constructive.

You are exhibiting great emotional intelligence if you choose to overlook an insult or respond with empathy. It basically comes down to knowing your own feelings and how to control them, as well as having a keen awareness of and ability to affect other people’s feelings. Empathically responding engages you with the insulter’s mental condition, which is frequently diffused by melancholy or insecurity. More meaningful conversation may result from this.
However, if you choose to ignore the insult, it demonstrates how strong your self-control is. Rather than responding rashly, you remain composed and uphold the integrity of your dialogue. This is essential to maintaining happy relationships and handling disagreements in a civil and respectful manner.
In summary, the way you respond to insults can drastically alter the dynamics of your encounters. You can choose to ignore them or respond to them with empathy. Recall that the insulter, not you, is frequently the source of the insults. Regardless of your preference for tactful quiet or empathy, these methods provide you the ability to take charge of the circumstance and stop similar insults in the future. “No one can humiliate you without your consent,” as the sage saying goes. Learn these answers so you may respond to the world with grace and confidence.
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