I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.
I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.
Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.
Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.
He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.
“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”
“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.
“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.
I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.
Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.
I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.
There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”
I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”
Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”
He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”
“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”
Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”
We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.
My Sister and Her Family Took Over My House Without Asking — They Faced Instant Consequences That Same Day
I won’t deny that I sometimes envy my friends living in their fancy apartments downtown, but then I remember that this place is mine. No landlord breathing down my neck, and no roommates leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Just me and my space.
Now, let me introduce you to my sister, Holly.
She’s 38, a mother of two, and married to her high school sweetheart, Nicholas. We used to be close when we were younger, but things changed when she got married. She started focusing more on her new life, and I never blamed her. I believe she did what she thought was best for her.
We drifted apart, but we were still on good terms. Or so I thought.
Holly and Nicholas have always been the free-spirited types. They’re one of those people who’re always talking about “quitting the rat race” and “living life to the fullest.”
It used to drive me nuts when we’d get together for family dinners.
“Life’s too short to be stuck in a cubicle, Phoebe,” Holly would say, sipping her wine. “You should travel more, see the world!”
I’d roll my eyes.
“Some of us like having a steady paycheck and a roof over our heads, Holly.”
Nicholas would chime in, “But think of the experiences! The memories!”
Yeah, well, memories don’t pay the bills, buddy, I’d think.
I tried to tell them to be more careful with their money. They were always jetting off on last-minute trips or buying the latest gadgets, even with two young kids to think about.
But did they listen? Nope.
A few months ago, they actually did it. They sold their house during the market boom, thinking they’d use the profit to fund a year-long break to “travel the world.”
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.
“We’re doing it, Phoebe!” Holly squealed over the phone. “We sold the house!”
“What?” I nearly choked on my coffee. “Holly, are you serious? What about the kids’ school? Your jobs?”
“Oh, we’ll homeschool them on the road. It’ll be an education in itself! And we can always find work later. This is our chance to really live!”
I tried to talk some sense into her. I was really worried.
“Holly, have you really thought this through? Travel is expensive, especially with kids. What happens when the money runs out?”
“Don’t be such a worrywart, Phoebe,” she said, brushing off the concerns. “We’ve got it all figured out. We’ll stay in hostels, maybe do some volunteering for room and board. It’ll be fine!”
It was not fine. Not at all.
At first, their social media was full of pictures from nice hotels and fancy restaurants.
“Living the dream!” they’d caption every post.
But within two months, those posts started to dwindle.
The last one I saw was a grainy shot of them camping in some field, with a caption about “embracing the simple life.”
Then, radio silence for a few weeks. I thought they were just busy enjoying their travels, unaware of what was really happening behind the scenes.
One day, I came home from work, exhausted after a long day of meetings and deadlines. All I wanted was to kick off my shoes, pour a glass of wine, and binge-watch some trashy reality TV.
But as soon as I opened my front door, I knew something was off.
There were shoes I didn’t recognize in the entryway, kid-sized backpacks on the floor, and familiar voices coming from my living room.
I walked in, and there they were.
Holly, Nicholas, and their two kids. They were unpacking suitcases and boxes in MY living room.
“Holly?” I blurted out, squinting my eyes as I looked at the mess in my living room. “What… what are you doing here?”
“Oh, hi Phoebe!” Holly chirped. “Surprise! We’re back!”
“Back?” I repeated. “In my house?”
Then, Nicholas stepped forward, smiling like this was the most normal thing in the world.
“Yeah, we decided to cut the trip short,” he said. “Turns out, full-time travel with kids is harder than we thought!”
“And Mom gave us your spare key… the one you gave her for emergencies,” Holly added. “I knew you wouldn’t mind us crashing here for a bit while we figure things out. It’ll only be for a few months.”
“A few months?” I protested. “Holly, are you serious? You can’t just move into my house without asking me!”
“But… we’re family. I thought you’d be happy to help us out.”
“Happy?” I could feel my cheeks burning with anger. “Holly, this is my house. My space. You should’ve talked to me about this!”
“Now, now, Phoebe,” Nicholas interrupted. “Let’s not get too high and mighty here. Family helps family, right? It’s not like you’re using all this space anyway.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Where did this entitlement come from? Why were they acting like what they did was fine?
“You guys need to leave,” I said, crossing my arms on my chest. “Now.”
But Holly refused.
Meanwhile, Nicholas started subtly threatening me.
“Come on, Phoebe,” he began, looming over me. “Don’t make this difficult. We don’t have anywhere else to go.”
I was furious. If I called the cops, their young kids might get dragged into it, and I didn’t want that.
I needed to come up with a plan, so I headed straight to my bedroom and locked the door behind me.
At that point, I honestly felt like crying. I had no idea what to do until my phone buzzed. It was a text from my old college friend, Alex.
Hey Pheebs! In your area for work. Drinks tonight?
Alex was always the prankster in our friend group, always coming up with wild schemes. If anyone could help me out of this mess, it was him.
I quickly texted him back.
Actually, can you come over? I have a situation and could use your help. Bring your acting skills.
The doorbell rang an hour later, and I raced to answer it before Holly or Nicholas could. When I opened the door, I saw a police officer standing at my doorstep.
“Oh my God, Alex!” I looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re wearing the perfect costume!”
I quickly stepped outside and closed the door behind me.
“What happened, Pheebs?” he asked.
“I need your help getting rid of my relatives,” I told him, still fascinated by his fake police uniform. “They’ve completely taken over my house.”
I quickly explained the situation, and Alex agreed to help. Then, I opened the door and called out to Holly and Nicholas.
“Holly, Nicholas, can you come here please? There’s a police officer who needs to speak with us.”
They were smiling when they came into the hallway, but their expressions immediately changed when they saw Alex in his uniform.
“Good evening,” Alex said. “I’m Officer Johnson. We’ve received reports of a break-in at this address. Can you tell me what’s going on here?”
Nicholas looked at me, squinting his eyes. Then, he puffed up his chest and slowly walked toward Alex.
“There’s no break-in here, officer,” Nicholas said in a serious tone. “We’re family. Everything’s fine.”
“Officer, these people entered my home unlawfully,” I said. “I never gave them permission to be here.”
Alex nodded and then looked at Holly and Nicholas.
“How did you gain entry to this residence?” Alex asked.
“We, uh, we used a key,” Holly stammered. “Mom gave it to me. It was a, uh, spare key for emergencies.”
“But no one asked my permission,” I intervened. “So, technically, you broke in. Who knows what might be missing?”
“I see,” Alex said, looking around the house. “And when the homeowner asked you to leave, did you comply?”
“Now, hold on a minute,” Nicholas said, his voice trembling slightly. “We did—”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises immediately,” Alex cut him off, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. “Failure to do so could result in charges of breaking and entering, as well as trespassing.”
I wanted to laugh so hard watching Nicholas pretending to be a police officer. He was just amazing. His last sentence was enough to send Holly and Nicholas into a panic.
“We’re sorry…” Holly began. “We’ll pack up.”
They quickly began throwing their things into their bags.
“If you leave right now,” Alex said sternly, “I won’t file charges. But you’ll return the key and never trespass again.”
They didn’t need to be told twice. Alex and I watched in silence as they grabbed their kids and their bags and bolted out of the house.
I finally laughed once their car sped away.
“You’re a lifesaver, Alex,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “Coffee?”
“Sure!” he said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.
I quickly made two cups of coffee before we sat in my now-quiet living room.
“I can’t believe they just assumed they could live here,” Alex said, shaking his head.
“I know,” I sighed. “Part of me feels guilty, you know? They’re family, after all. But I just couldn’t let them freeload off me like that.”
“You did the right thing, Phoebe,” Alex reassured me. “They can’t just take advantage of you because their hare-brained scheme failed.”
“I’m so glad you messaged me at the right time, Alex,” I said, looking at my phone. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you. But why did you come dressed up like a police officer?”
“Oh, that,” Alex chuckled. “I was just messing around with friends, pulling pranks and all. I had no idea my costume would come in handy over here. What a coincidence, right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “What a coincidence.”
As we talked, I couldn’t help but think of the consequences of my actions. Had I done the right thing? Would this drive an irreparable wedge between me and my sister?
But then I looked around my living room. It was my space, and I had worked so hard for it. I thought about all the long hours and the sacrifices I’d made to buy a house and realized I couldn’t let Holly and Nicholas just take over everything.
I also realized it was okay to put myself first. It was okay to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
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