I’ve always been a patient person. I got to practice my patience when my father remarried following my mom’s death. So, when my in-laws tried to get me to break up with my husband before we could get married, I just used what I had learned earlier in life to withstand their onslaught.
You know, sometimes trying to find your place in someone else’s family can be really tricky. At least, it was for me when I met my husband’s family. See, I’m originally from Morocco, while my husband, Jeremy, was raised by an extremely conservative family from Georgia. That should be enough to give you an idea of what I faced.
Man and woman on a date | Source: Getty Images
I immigrated to the US shortly after my mother passed away. I was 11 at the time, and it felt like my entire world was coming to an end. To add to this, my dad married a new woman only a little over a year after Mom’s death. Naturally, adjusting to life in a new country and coming to terms that there was a new woman in my mom’s place was jarring.
My stepmom wasn’t a bad person, but we never got along. I think she felt insecure about the fact that she could never have kids, so she would often be mean and distant toward my sister and me. She used to try to upset us all the time by doing petty things that she knew would make us uncomfortable, but luckily my mom had taught me to always smile when people were intentionally being mean to me.
A young girl in an airplane | Source: Getty Images
This turned out to be a great defense mechanism, and my stepmom couldn’t bear that her tricks weren’t working on me. Eventually, things died down and we made our peace, but I would never forget how effective it was to just smile through whatever petty new ploy she had devised to try and upset me. It truly was one of the greatest gifts my mom had ever given me.
But my stepmom was a minor hindrance compared to Jeremy’s family. When I met them for the first time, I knew I was in for a lengthy cold war.
A woman yelling at a young girl | Source: Getty Images
I met Leona, Jeremy’s mom, and the rest of the Fergus family at one of their family dinners. By that time, I had been dating Jeremy for almost a year, and they had used every excuse to avoid inviting me to their dinners. This time, Jeremy ensured that they couldn’t weasel out of meeting me, and he even told his mom to prepare a few dishes that I could eat, since I steer clear of any pork and alcohol.
While my loving boyfriend was sure there would be something for me, I knew better than to just blindly trust people who clearly had misgivings about me to respect my personal choices, so I ate as I would before a fast and prepared myself for sitting around the dinner table while everyone enjoyed their meal.
A large dinner table with people sitting around it | Source: Getty Images
When we showed up at Jeremy’s parents’ house, the family greeted me with half-hearted smiles and quick hugs before we all settled down to eat. I knew the greetings would be awkward and stiff, but what I didn’t anticipate was Leona bringing a peppy blonde woman up to me with a huge smile and saying, “Oh, Aleah, you just have to meet Diane, Jeremy’s last girlfriend. We’re all still very close and I thought you two might hit it off.”
Diane looked slightly embarrassed, and shook my hand with a smile that seemed to say, “I’m sorry, I know, but what could I do?” I introduced myself and we exchanged a few pleasantries before she greeted Jeremy with a huge hug. She immediately launched into a conversation with him about what was going on in his life, ignoring me completely. Jeremy answered a few questions, grabbed my hand, and steered me to our seats.
A woman shaking another woman’s hand | Source: Getty Images
At the table, things just got worse. Leona opened all the dishes, and every single thing had pork in it. The mac and cheese had bacon bits in, the mashed potatoes had lard in, and even the turkey was wrapped in bacon. After unveiling all the food, Jeremy’s mom looked at me, apologized for all the pork, and offered me a drink. “I don’t drink, but I’ll gladly take a glass of water,” I said with a smile. Slightly crestfallen, Leona got up to get me one.
During the meal, the entire family kept making off-handed, passive-aggressive, and slightly racist comments clearly directed toward me. Meanwhile, Diane was showered with compliments. You’d expect she was royalty with how the family sucked up to her. But I knew exactly how to handle the situation.
A woman enjoying a glass of water | Source: Getty Images
Instead of letting my annoyance show, I once again employed my mom’s wisdom. I smiled at every so-called joke, and even threw a few of my own compliments at Diane. I told Leona how lovely the spread looked, and thanked her profusely when she went to refill my cup of water. I could see Jeremy’s mom seething at my pleasant demeanor.
The night ended and we said our goodbyes. I refrained from complaining to Jeremy about his family. I could handle it. But things didn’t get better from there. Family dinners were suddenly off-limits to anyone who wasn’t also a Fergus — although Diane was apparently an exception — so I would often spend Christmas on my own or with my sister. They never drove a wedge between myself and Jeremy, and imagine their shock when he eventually proposed.
Two sisters celebrating Christmas together | Source: Getty Images
Now, Leona and the rest of the family never bothered to learn anything about my culture. They assumed the wedding would be a regular ceremony, but Jeremy and I had planned on blending traditions. So when all the women, Diane included, showed up wearing white, I was all smiles, complimenting their outfits all the way. This didn’t go down well.
Meanwhile, my outfits were made up of every color imaginable, and I outshone them in every photo. There’s even one picture of Leona with the biggest sour expression I had ever seen. It was a wonderful day.
A traditional wedding dress | Source: Getty Images
But the unspoken feud came to a head last Christmas when Leona suggested I host. Naturally, I accepted, even though I knew she only offered because she hoped I would be overwhelmed. Fortunately, she didn’t count on the fact that I often cooked, and had been since I was a young girl. So my spread was something to marvel at.
Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, turkey, glazed ham, Brussels sprouts, green bean casserole, roasted carrots, and potatoes, freshly baked bread, corn bread, and an entire assortment of pies. Even I was impressed. But of course, with her plan in ruins, Leona did the next best thing. She started shouting at me.
A big dinner | Source: Getty Images
“You’ve got to be kidding me! How could you of all people have managed this?! I know you hired a catering company, Aleah! Just to make me look bad. Admit it!”
Surprised at her outright anger, I looked at her, then at Jeremy. Luckily he stepped in.
“Mom, Aleah slaved away for two days to make sure we had a great Christmas dinner. I don’t think you acting like this is very mature or fair. She has been nothing but a good host, and you accuse her of being petty, like a child who had hoped to one-up someone. I think you owe her an apology, or you should leave.”
There was a long pause. Everyone wondered what would happen next, plates in hand.
A woman cooking dinner | Source: Getty Images
Leona took a deep breath and looked at me. “You won,” she muttered and sat down dejectedly. Before Jeremy could say another word, I walked over to my mother-in-law, got on my knees before her, and took her hands in mine. “Leona, this isn’t a competition. I love your son deeply and I don’t want this cold war between us.”
She looked at me with new-found respect, and I could see the hatchet was buried. The war between us ended with a big hug and a great dinner, and although we still differ about things, we have grown quite fond of each other over the last few months.
The First Image You See Reveals Whether You’re Careful or Careless!
Ever wondered what your instincts reveal about your personality? Sometimes, what catches your eye first in an image can speak volumes about how your mind works. This isn’t science, but it sure is fun — and a little too accurate for comfort. Let’s dive into this simple visual quiz and unpack what it might say about you. Are you more careful or a little carefree? Your answer might surprise you.
What Do You See First: The Butterfly or the Flowers?
You only need a second to glance at the image. What jumps out at you first — the delicate shape of a butterfly or the blooming flowers that surround it? Your brain made a choice in an instant, and that choice could hint at a deeper trait in your personality.
This type of test taps into how our subconscious perceives visual cues. Depending on how your mind is wired, you may be drawn to detail, movement, color, or form. While it’s not rooted in hard science, it’s definitely a playful way to reflect on your behavior and mindset.
🦋 If You Saw the Butterfly First: You’re a Careful Observer
Spotting the butterfly first means your brain zooms in on fine details before the big picture. This suggests you’re a thoughtful, organized, and perhaps even perfectionist type of person. You don’t rush into things — instead, you analyze, observe, and calculate.
You likely have high standards — not just for yourself but also for those around you. You might find people often come to you for advice because you radiate calm, clarity, and confidence. You don’t just listen — you really hear what someone is saying.
In work or social settings, you’re someone who picks up on subtle shifts. A sigh, a pause, a tiny change in tone — you notice. That’s because your mind is wired to observe, assess, and understand. You’re not one to make impulsive decisions; you make strategic moves, and most of the time, they work out in your favor.
Video : Illusions – 1 – What Do You See First: Personality?
People with this mindset also tend to be creative thinkers. You see possibilities where others see problems. You may be the quiet one in the room, but when you speak, your ideas stick.
🌸 If You Saw the Flowers First: You’re a Free-Spirited Thinker
If the flowers jumped out at you first, you’re someone who focuses on the big picture. You’re expressive, open-minded, and more interested in how something feels than how it looks. People might describe you as easygoing, spontaneous, or even a little rebellious — and you’re perfectly okay with that.
You value freedom above all. The freedom to choose your path, follow your passions, and express your true self without apology. You don’t follow trends — you are the trendsetter. Your sense of identity runs deep, and you rarely care what others think.
On the surface, you might come across as aloof or distant, but beneath that cool exterior is a deeply emotional and affectionate soul. You just don’t hand your heart over to everyone — but when you do, you’re fiercely loyal and loving.
People like you bring energy into every room. You inspire creativity in others just by being yourself. You’re not afraid to take risks or break the mold — and even if you fail, you see it as part of the journey, not the end of the road.
Why These Visual Quizzes Are So Engaging
Let’s be honest — we all love a little insight into ourselves. Personality quizzes, especially ones involving visual choices, are fun because they feel personal and interactive. Even though they’re not backed by scientific research, they make us reflect on our patterns, strengths, and quirks.
These types of visual puzzles also rely on cognitive bias. Your mind makes snap judgments based on your preferences, experiences, and emotional state. That’s why the same image can speak to different people in different ways.
Careful vs. Careless: What Does It Really Mean?
It’s important to note that “careful” doesn’t mean anxious or overly cautious, and “careless” doesn’t mean reckless or irresponsible. In this context, it’s more about your natural tendencies.
Careful thinkers tend to be reflective, methodical, and thoughtful in their actions. They might take longer to decide but usually make fewer mistakes.
Video : THIS ILLUSION REVEALS YOUR PERSONALITY TRAITS
Careless or carefree thinkers are intuitive, spontaneous, and trust their gut. They may make bold choices, act quickly, and embrace the unexpected — which can often lead to amazing discoveries or innovative ideas.
One isn’t better than the other. In fact, the world needs both types of thinkers.
Can Your Choice Change Over Time? Absolutely.
Your response to an image like this could vary depending on your current mood, mindset, or life circumstances. If you’re feeling relaxed and creative, you might notice the flowers. If you’re focused or under pressure, the butterfly might stand out.
That’s because personality isn’t a fixed concept. It evolves. So don’t worry if you’ve taken a similar quiz before and got a different result. That just means you’re growing — and that’s a good thing.
Conclusion: What Did You See First?
Whether the butterfly or the flowers caught your attention, what matters most is how it made you reflect. These kinds of quizzes aren’t about putting you in a box — they’re a playful way to explore the layers of who you are.
Did you learn something new about yourself today? Did your result make you smile? Share your answer in the comments, tag a friend, and challenge them to see what they spot first!
Remember, you are a unique blend of traits — part logic, part heart, a little wild, and a little wise. And sometimes, the tiniest choice — like what you see in a picture — can say more about you than you think.
Leave a Reply