I’ve always been a patient person. I got to practice my patience when my father remarried following my mom’s death. So, when my in-laws tried to get me to break up with my husband before we could get married, I just used what I had learned earlier in life to withstand their onslaught.
You know, sometimes trying to find your place in someone else’s family can be really tricky. At least, it was for me when I met my husband’s family. See, I’m originally from Morocco, while my husband, Jeremy, was raised by an extremely conservative family from Georgia. That should be enough to give you an idea of what I faced.
Man and woman on a date | Source: Getty Images
I immigrated to the US shortly after my mother passed away. I was 11 at the time, and it felt like my entire world was coming to an end. To add to this, my dad married a new woman only a little over a year after Mom’s death. Naturally, adjusting to life in a new country and coming to terms that there was a new woman in my mom’s place was jarring.
My stepmom wasn’t a bad person, but we never got along. I think she felt insecure about the fact that she could never have kids, so she would often be mean and distant toward my sister and me. She used to try to upset us all the time by doing petty things that she knew would make us uncomfortable, but luckily my mom had taught me to always smile when people were intentionally being mean to me.
A young girl in an airplane | Source: Getty Images
This turned out to be a great defense mechanism, and my stepmom couldn’t bear that her tricks weren’t working on me. Eventually, things died down and we made our peace, but I would never forget how effective it was to just smile through whatever petty new ploy she had devised to try and upset me. It truly was one of the greatest gifts my mom had ever given me.
But my stepmom was a minor hindrance compared to Jeremy’s family. When I met them for the first time, I knew I was in for a lengthy cold war.
A woman yelling at a young girl | Source: Getty Images
I met Leona, Jeremy’s mom, and the rest of the Fergus family at one of their family dinners. By that time, I had been dating Jeremy for almost a year, and they had used every excuse to avoid inviting me to their dinners. This time, Jeremy ensured that they couldn’t weasel out of meeting me, and he even told his mom to prepare a few dishes that I could eat, since I steer clear of any pork and alcohol.
While my loving boyfriend was sure there would be something for me, I knew better than to just blindly trust people who clearly had misgivings about me to respect my personal choices, so I ate as I would before a fast and prepared myself for sitting around the dinner table while everyone enjoyed their meal.
A large dinner table with people sitting around it | Source: Getty Images
When we showed up at Jeremy’s parents’ house, the family greeted me with half-hearted smiles and quick hugs before we all settled down to eat. I knew the greetings would be awkward and stiff, but what I didn’t anticipate was Leona bringing a peppy blonde woman up to me with a huge smile and saying, “Oh, Aleah, you just have to meet Diane, Jeremy’s last girlfriend. We’re all still very close and I thought you two might hit it off.”
Diane looked slightly embarrassed, and shook my hand with a smile that seemed to say, “I’m sorry, I know, but what could I do?” I introduced myself and we exchanged a few pleasantries before she greeted Jeremy with a huge hug. She immediately launched into a conversation with him about what was going on in his life, ignoring me completely. Jeremy answered a few questions, grabbed my hand, and steered me to our seats.
A woman shaking another woman’s hand | Source: Getty Images
At the table, things just got worse. Leona opened all the dishes, and every single thing had pork in it. The mac and cheese had bacon bits in, the mashed potatoes had lard in, and even the turkey was wrapped in bacon. After unveiling all the food, Jeremy’s mom looked at me, apologized for all the pork, and offered me a drink. “I don’t drink, but I’ll gladly take a glass of water,” I said with a smile. Slightly crestfallen, Leona got up to get me one.
During the meal, the entire family kept making off-handed, passive-aggressive, and slightly racist comments clearly directed toward me. Meanwhile, Diane was showered with compliments. You’d expect she was royalty with how the family sucked up to her. But I knew exactly how to handle the situation.
A woman enjoying a glass of water | Source: Getty Images
Instead of letting my annoyance show, I once again employed my mom’s wisdom. I smiled at every so-called joke, and even threw a few of my own compliments at Diane. I told Leona how lovely the spread looked, and thanked her profusely when she went to refill my cup of water. I could see Jeremy’s mom seething at my pleasant demeanor.
The night ended and we said our goodbyes. I refrained from complaining to Jeremy about his family. I could handle it. But things didn’t get better from there. Family dinners were suddenly off-limits to anyone who wasn’t also a Fergus — although Diane was apparently an exception — so I would often spend Christmas on my own or with my sister. They never drove a wedge between myself and Jeremy, and imagine their shock when he eventually proposed.
Two sisters celebrating Christmas together | Source: Getty Images
Now, Leona and the rest of the family never bothered to learn anything about my culture. They assumed the wedding would be a regular ceremony, but Jeremy and I had planned on blending traditions. So when all the women, Diane included, showed up wearing white, I was all smiles, complimenting their outfits all the way. This didn’t go down well.
Meanwhile, my outfits were made up of every color imaginable, and I outshone them in every photo. There’s even one picture of Leona with the biggest sour expression I had ever seen. It was a wonderful day.
A traditional wedding dress | Source: Getty Images
But the unspoken feud came to a head last Christmas when Leona suggested I host. Naturally, I accepted, even though I knew she only offered because she hoped I would be overwhelmed. Fortunately, she didn’t count on the fact that I often cooked, and had been since I was a young girl. So my spread was something to marvel at.
Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, turkey, glazed ham, Brussels sprouts, green bean casserole, roasted carrots, and potatoes, freshly baked bread, corn bread, and an entire assortment of pies. Even I was impressed. But of course, with her plan in ruins, Leona did the next best thing. She started shouting at me.
A big dinner | Source: Getty Images
“You’ve got to be kidding me! How could you of all people have managed this?! I know you hired a catering company, Aleah! Just to make me look bad. Admit it!”
Surprised at her outright anger, I looked at her, then at Jeremy. Luckily he stepped in.
“Mom, Aleah slaved away for two days to make sure we had a great Christmas dinner. I don’t think you acting like this is very mature or fair. She has been nothing but a good host, and you accuse her of being petty, like a child who had hoped to one-up someone. I think you owe her an apology, or you should leave.”
There was a long pause. Everyone wondered what would happen next, plates in hand.
A woman cooking dinner | Source: Getty Images
Leona took a deep breath and looked at me. “You won,” she muttered and sat down dejectedly. Before Jeremy could say another word, I walked over to my mother-in-law, got on my knees before her, and took her hands in mine. “Leona, this isn’t a competition. I love your son deeply and I don’t want this cold war between us.”
She looked at me with new-found respect, and I could see the hatchet was buried. The war between us ended with a big hug and a great dinner, and although we still differ about things, we have grown quite fond of each other over the last few months.
My Husband Bragged about Buying Me Expensive Earrings When I Bought Them Myself, So I Gave Him a Reality Check
When Samantha reaches a huge milestone at work, she decides to celebrate the moment by treating herself to something expensive—a pair of diamond earrings. But when she and her husband are with their friends, and Ross takes full credit for it, she wants nothing more than to embarrass him. Will she do it? And more importantly, will she regret it?
I’ve always thought of myself as being an independent woman. Even when I got married to Ross—I knew that I needed to have my own sense of independence in some way. Which is how I threw myself into my career.
A woman wearing a blazer | Source: Pexels
I work for a fashion house, writing content and making our catalogs look great. Recently, work has been going really well, and I received a promotion.
“Well done, Samantha!” my boss gushed. “You’re the person who takes our vision and translates it to the public. It’s a gift.”
Of course, I loved my job so it felt like the biggest reward to be acknowledged for my work.
A woman writing in a notebook | Source: Unsplash
I celebrated my promotion by spoiling myself.
“What do you want to get for yourself?” my work colleague, Carol, asked me during our lunch.
“I don’t know,” I said, drizzling dressing all over my salad. “I don’t own anything incredibly fancy. So, I’m thinking jewelry.”
A plate of salad on a table | Source: Unsplash
Carol and I went to the jewelry store across from the café we had lunch.
“Let’s just look around,” Carol said.
A display at a jewelry store | Source: Unsplash
We walked around the store and I looked through the glass displays, waiting for something to catch my eyes. Which was when I saw them—a pair of exquisite diamond earrings.
“That’s the one,” I said.
The woman behind the display beamed at me.
“This is going to complement your eyes,” she said, putting the earrings into a beautiful velvet box.
A pair of diamond earrings | Source: Pexels
That evening when I got home from work, I took the box out, ready to show Ross the symbol of my hard-earned achievement at work.
“That looks expensive,” Ross said, piling pasta onto plates for us. “Was it?”
“It was,” I agreed. “But I wanted to treat myself. I’ve been working really hard at work, so this is the reward I decided on.”
“You have been,” Ross agreed. “It’s good to spoil yourself sometimes.”
A man in the kitchen | Source: Unsplash
I knew that my husband was trying to be proud of me—but he didn’t like when I was able to spoil myself. He had never actually said it, but it always showed in his reactions.
Later as we got ready for bed, the dim glow of the bedside lamp cast long shadows across the room as I fiddled with the edge of the duvet, avoiding Ross’s gaze.
I felt a sense of tension between us, the air thick with unspoken words.
A woman sitting on the bed | Source: Pexels
Ross had been quiet for the rest of the dinner, his responses clipped, smiles forced. I noticed it, of course, but I didn’t want to draw any attention to his mood. I just felt horrible that Ross felt a certain way about me treating myself.
“Ross,” I said as he got into bed with his laptop in hand. “I know you think these earrings are too much, but it’s just that—”
“No, Sam,” he said. “It’s fine. It’s just that sometimes I feel bad that you have to buy these things for yourself. I feel like I should spoil you, too.”
A man sitting on the bed with his laptop | Source: Pexels
We spoke for a few hours after that, and I tried to reassure my husband that everything was fine—I didn’t want us to get into a fight over something that didn’t need to become one.
We were good. Other than this, Ross and I were absolutely fine.
We spent the rest of the week meeting each other during the work day for coffee. Just to check in with each other during the day.
A couple sitting together and drinking coffee | Source: Pexels
But then, the weekend rolled around and Ross’s behavior shocked me.
We had a group of really good friends that we saw regularly. The whole group tried to meet for drinks or a meal at least every two weeks.
So, this weekend we planned on doing lunch at a new restaurant.
An interior of a restaurant | Source: Unsplash
We all sat around the table, with everyone breaking away to talk about their own things.
“Your earrings are stunning,” our friend, Macy, said. “Where did you get them?”
Before I could reply, Ross began to tell his own story of the earrings.
Women sitting together and laughing | Source: Pexels
“I got them from the store here,” he said, gesturing in the direction of the jewelry store.
“Oh! I’ve seen it,” Macy retorted. “But I haven’t been inside.”
“Yeah, I just felt that Samantha needed to be spoiled a bit. She’s been working so hard lately. So, I surprised her with the earrings and her favorite chocolate,” Ross said.
A box of chocolate | Source: Pexels
There were a few pats on his back from some of the guys. And the ladies gushed over how sweet my husband apparently was.
“Don,” Macy said to her husband. “You could learn a thing or two from Ross.”
I sat there, looking at my cocktail, feeling utterly betrayed. Earlier that week Ross had looked like a sad puppy because I had done something for myself.
And now?
A cocktail with a black straw | Source: Pexels
Here he was, sitting with our friend group and taking advantage of the fact that I had not spoken up and told everyone the truth.
But could I? If I said anything, Ross would be nothing but embarrassed.
“I mean,” he continued. “I was spoiled for choice! There were so many options, but I settled on these because Sam just feels like a diamond girl. They cost a fortune!”
A man sitting and smiling at the camera | Source: Pexels
Our food arrived and I dug into my prawns in silence. I didn’t mind that Ross wanted to be included in the story. But it bugged me that he had taken over it.
The whole reason for these earrings was for me to prove to myself that I was good at my job and worthy of good things—material things that I could provide for myself.
But Ross’s lie gnawed away at me for the entire meal.
Prawns and noodles in a plate | Source: Pexels
As we paid and left the restaurant, I made sure to walk past the jewelry store. I wasn’t going to point it out, but I knew Macy would.
Macy was the type of person that if someone had something fancy, then she would shortly have her own—after persuading her husband to buy it for her.
“Hey!” she exclaimed. “This is the store, right?”
I nodded and allowed myself to be dragged inside the door.
A jewelry store display | Source: Unsplash
“Mrs. Carter,” the woman behind the counter called out. “Back so soon?”
It was as if something came undone in that moment. And I found myself wanting to get back at Ross.
“Yes!” I said. “I wanted to see what else you have. Rings, maybe?”
She beamed and called for Macy and I to meet her at a counter—our husbands were behind us, eyeing the jewelry and the prices attached to it.
“Would I be able to exchange something?” I asked the woman.
A diamond ring display | Source: Pexels
She nodded slowly, eyeing the earrings that I was wearing.
“We do accept returns and exchanges,” she said. “Provided that there’s proof of payment and the quality of the item has not been tarnished in any way.”
“You want to return your earrings?” Macy asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Well, I’m looking at this ring,” I said, pointing to a gorgeous ring in the display. “It’s stunning, but the earrings just won’t go with them.”
A woman holding a diamond ring | Source: Pexels
My husband stepped forward and put his arm around me, while holding onto his wallet.
“But you love the earrings, Sam,” he said. “Why don’t you just keep them and think about it.”
“No,” I said stubbornly. “I think I’d like the ring better.”
“You’ll have to give me your details,” the woman said from behind the counter.
Ross gave his full name—knowing full well that nothing would show up. Because he did not buy my earrings, and I wanted to embarrass him.
A man holding a wallet | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry, Sir,” she said. “But there are no purchases under your name here.”
“Really?” Ross asked sheepishly. “That’s a problem.”
“I’m so sure it’s under Mrs. Carter’s details,” she continued. “The earrings were purchased on her card.”
My husband’s face turned red in embarrassment. He didn’t meet my eye—knowing that I was upset with how he had downplayed my involvement in the earrings.
A man turned away from the camera | Source: Pexels
“It’s right here,” she said, looking at her computer. “Do you really want to return them, Mrs. Carter? Like I said the day you purchased them, they really suit your eyes.”
In the end, I declined wanting to switch my earrings for the ring. I had no intention of doing so—I just wanted to teach Ross a lesson.
Macy and Don looked at each other, and I knew that they were judging us. But I didn’t care, Macy was a material girl and would forget about the whole thing once Don bought her a pair of earrings, too.
A woman wearing red | Source: Pexels
The car ride home was enveloped in a profound silence.
Ross seemed to shrink beside me, his earlier bravado having dissolved into quiet reflection.
That evening, he shared his insecurities, confessing that his lie was an ill-conceived attempt to share in my accomplishments.
My emotions were mixed—relief at his honesty and acknowledgment of what he had done.
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Pexels
But my relief was also tinged with sorrow—I hated that my husband felt the need to compete.
The next day, Ross left home claiming that he had an errand to run. When he returned, I was reading a book, waiting for him to get back.
“Where have you been?” I asked him.
Ross just smiled at me and handed me a gift box.
A woman reading a book | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry for dismissing your feelings,” he said. “This is to match your earrings.”
Inside the gift bag was a beautiful diamond necklace.
“I didn’t mean to outshine you,” he confessed. “You earned them by yourself. I just felt guilty that I haven’t been able to spoil you in the way you should be spoiled, Sam.”
The gift was a heartfelt gesture, and while a part of me wanted to return it—I knew that if I did so, I would hurt his feelings even more.
The previous day, when I had wanted to embarrass him—it wasn’t to hurt him. It was just to feel seen.
And after we spoke about it—I think we’re finally on the same page.
A gift box with a bow | Source: Pexels
What would you have done?
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