A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Liam Payne: Former One Direction star dies in Argentina
Tributes have been pouring in for the 31-year-old singer who fell from a third-floor balcony at a hotel in the capital Buenos Aires.
Former One Direction star Liam Payne has died after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina.
The 31-year-old singer suffered “extremely serious injuries” after falling from the third floor at the hotel in the capital Buenos Aires, police said.
Alberto Crescenti, head of the state emergency medical system, said on Argentinian television that Payne, who had a seven-year-old son with former Girls Aloud singer Cheryl, fell into a courtyard of the CasaSur Hotel in the city’s Palermo neighbourhood.
The official declined to answer questions about how he came to fall from the balcony.
Mr Crescenti said authorities were investigating the circumstances of his death and conducting a post-mortem.
https://imasdk.googleapis.com/js/core/bridge3.673.0_en.html#goog_1364029489Play Video – Liam Payne dies: Sky’s Martha Kelner reportsLiam Payne dies: Sky’s Martha Kelner reports
Meanwhile, a transcript has been released of the emergency call the hotel desk manager made to 911 after the fall.
The hotel manager is heard saying he has a “guest drunk with drugs and alcohol”, adding: “He is breaking everything in the room.”
He later tells the operator they “need to send someone with urgency because I don’t know if the guest’s life is in danger because he is in a room with a balcony”.
The hotel manager continues: “We are afraid he could do something that threatens life.”
The 911 operator says the police and emergency medical workers have been sent to the scene.
Argentinian media reported that Payne was in Buenos Aires to attend the concert of his former One Direction bandmate Niall Horan earlier this month.
Fans flocked to the hotel after news of Payne’s death broke, with many expressing shock and heartbreak.
One Direction fans from across the world have also been sharing poignant tributes to Payne on social media.
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In the hours before his death, photos shared from the singer’s Snapchat account showed him with his partner Kate Cassidy.
There was also clips, including one where he said it was a “lovely day here in Argentina”.
It appears the videos were filmed earlier in the week and then posted in his final hours.
“Just enjoying coffee and breakfast, even though it’s like 1pm,” he said. “Literally sleep in every day until like 12. We’re such losers.”
The star spoke about “going to ride some horses” and said: “Think I’m going to play polo again which is going to put me out of action for about six weeks.”
“It’s going to be a nice day,” he added.
Payne had embarked on a solo career after One Direction announced they were going on an indefinite hiatus in 2015.
The band was formed on The X Factor in 2010, with Payne featuring alongside Horan, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, and Harry Styles. They were mentored by Simon Cowell who had also created the show.
The group finished third before signing with Cowell’s “Syco” record label and going on to become one of the best-selling boybands of all time.
Payne’s relationship with Cheryl, who was a judge on the X Factor, began in 2016 and ended in 2018. They named their son Bear.
Britain’s Got Talent, another show created by Cowell, has cancelled its auditions in Blackpool today in light of Payne’s death.
It comes as tributes from the entertainment industry have been pouring in for Payne since news of the tragedy emerged.
In a post from its official X account, the team at the X Factor wrote: “We are heartbroken by the sad passing of Liam Payne.
“He was immensely talented and, as part of One Direction, Liam will leave a lasting legacy on the music industry and fans around the world.”
Separately, Dermot O’Leary, a former host of the show, posted a photo of himself and Payne on Instagram, writing: “The worst news. I remember him as a 14-year-old turning up to audition on The X Factor, and blowing us away singing Sinatra. He just loved to sing.”
TV presenter Rylan Clark, a former X Factor contestant, said: “Extremely sad news. (Very) tragic and so young. RIP Liam.”
Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher, Hip hop icon Flavor Flav, boxer Chris Eubank Jr and former Cultural Club singer Boy George are also among those who have paid tribute.
Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer has also offered his condolences, with his official spokesman saying: “The Prime Minister’s sincere condolences are with Liam’s family and friends at this time.
“One Direction were one of the biggest bands in history and their music had a huge impact on many millions of fans around the world.”
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https://imasdk.googleapis.com/js/core/bridge3.673.0_en.html#goog_1746462811Play Video – Liam Payne’s X Factor auditionLiam Payne’s X Factor audition
Payne, who was born in Wolverhampton, had a complicated personal life and spoken openly about his struggles with alcoholism and mental health. He was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.
He had previously spoken about suffering with suicidal thoughts, admitting that he was “lucky to still be here”.
In 2019, Payne addressed his mental health on Sky show Straight Talking with Ant Middleton, where he spoke about his struggles with fame.
Describing fame as like “having a weird midlife crisis”, Payne said: “For some certain circumstances, I’m quite lucky to be here still.”
Since October 2022, Payne has been linked to influencer Cassidy, recently posting on Instagram that they “make each other better people”, and adding: “For the first time in my life I’m happy to be me and that’s priceless.”
He was previously engaged to Maya Henry, with their relationship ending in 2022.
Earlier this week, it was reported she had issued legal proceedings – instructing lawyers to issue a cease and desist letter to Payne – and she posted a video on TikTok claiming the singer had been repeatedly sending her unwanted messages.
Last week, the Sun reported Payne had parted with his management company and shelved plans for a second solo album.
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