James was taken aback when he found Liam in tears in the attic, disrupting what had been an ordinary day. Little did he know, as he rushed upstairs to console his frightened son, that this incident would unveil a long-held secret lurking in their attic.
The tale began in 2018 when the family’s arborvitae trees were damaged by deer. While preparing to replace them, James and his family noticed something peculiar among the trees on the east side of their yard. Initially mistaken for an electrical box, it turned out to be something far more perplexing.
In May 2018, landscapers were brought in to remove the damaged trees and gain access to the mysterious metal box, as the family opted for bamboo trees that deer would not harm. To their surprise, the metal box turned out to be the entrance to a massive hornet’s nest, not just an ordinary electrical fixture.
The sheer size of the nest and the strange noises emanating from it, akin to a struggling car engine, astonished both James and Liam. Unlike any ordinary nest, this one seemed to hold something significant within its depths.
James called in a hornet control specialist for assistance, who initially seemed confident in handling the situation. However, upon entering the attic where the hornets had established their unique hive, the specialist quickly changed his tune, declining the job much to the family’s dismay
Frustrated with the lack of professional help and disturbed by the incessant noise the hornets were causing inside their home, James decided to take matters into his own hands.
However, his attempt to remove the nest himself proved disastrous. Clad in protective gear, James entered the attic and was immediately overwhelmed by angry hornets, suffering multiple stings and immense pain. He barely managed to escape and was found unconscious on the first floor by his family.
In a bold move, young Liam took it upon himself to smoke out the hornets, determined to resolve the problem and protect his family. Sneaking into the attic, he used a smoker to temporarily calm the hornets, but this inadvertently provoked them further as they emerged from their brief stupor.
As the situation escalated, Liam faced a critical decision: to retreat from the attic and seal the window, once again subduing the hornets. When the smoke cleared, however, he discovered something unexpected within their nest, something the hornets fiercely guarded.
James was both proud of Liam’s courage and concerned for his safety upon learning of his son’s actions. Yet, the discovery within the hornet’s nest not only complicated matters but also sparked a heated argument between James and his wife, Emma.
Emma’s shock and anger were directed not only at James for concealing the nest but also at the unsettling contents within. The heightened tension pushed James to take decisive action, wrapping the unsettling object in towels and driving off, leaving behind a cloud of unanswered questions.
In addition to testing the family’s bravery, the hornet’s nest incident unearthed a dark secret that could potentially alter their lives forever. Now faced with an unsettling discovery, the family grapples with the mystery surrounding the object hidden in their attic
Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around
A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
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