Matthew filed for divorce from Anne when she couldn’t give him a son, but he still lived in their house. One day, she met Harry, an old friend from school, and eventually realized how much better she was without Matthew. Years later, Anne accidentally ran into her ex-husband and couldn’t recognize him.
“Oh my God! Harry! It’s so nice to see you!” Anne exclaimed when she accidentally stumbled into her old school friend on the street. She had left her five girls with her mother, a rare break for her, and wanted to get a cup of coffee on the streets of Seattle.
“Anne, it’s lovely to see you too! Hey, would you want to get some coffee and catch up?” Harry answered, and she nodded immediately. They went into the café and chit-chatted until Harry asked about her family.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Oh… that’s actually a difficult subject,” she began.
“Well, raising five children is not easy for anyone,” Harry commented, knowing a bit of her from social media and such.
“Matthew? What are you doing here?” she asked, looking at his uniform and the pretzel tray.
“Yeah, sure. That’s hard. But it’s more than that,” Anne continued. “Matthew changed after the birth of our twins. They’re 9 and they barely speak to their father. I think they’re scared of him.”
“I don’t understand,” Harry said.
“Matthew wanted a boy, and we hoped, but we had two beautiful girls instead. That’s why we got pregnant again and again, but we kept having girls. After our fifth daughter was born, Matthew became another man. He filed for divorce, and I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Anne explained about her husband, her hand wiping the sweat forming on her forehead.
“Wow. That’s rough. But think about this, you’ll be better off without him, right? I mean if he hasn’t been speaking to your eldest girls, then he couldn’t have been the best father to the rest. You already raised them on your own,” Harry encouraged. “And now that I’m in Seattle permanently, I could help. You could move in with me.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Anne’s jaw dropped. She didn’t expect such an offer from Harry, especially since they had just met again after many years. But she knew back in school that he always had a huge crush on her. Still, that offer was too generous and kind. She couldn’t accept it. She changed the subject, and they talked about his successful life.
Meanwhile, things at her house got even worse over the next few weeks. They were divorcing, but Matthew still lived with her, acting like he was single, partying, making noise at odd hours, waking the girls, and being a menace to them.
Anne would talk to Harry all the time, and his offer still stood. But when Matthew decided to bring a girl over to their marital home, Anne was done. She called Harry, packed, and left the house with all the girls.
Their divorce got more complicated when she took Matthew to court to get their big house back. Despite her living in Harry’s house, her soon-to-be ex-husband didn’t deserve to keep their big home. The judge granted her every request based on Matthew’s horrible lifestyle and gave her full custody without question.
Eventually, she and Harry fell in love, and he bought an even bigger home for their family. When she and the girls moved in with him, she put her house up for rent and stopped thinking about Matthew for many years.
***
A year after marrying Harry, Anne had their son, Alan, who was the most beautiful boy in the world, and he had five big sisters adoring him at every moment. Anne couldn’t have been happier.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
More time passed, and one day, she picked Alan up from preschool and decided to drop by the mall to buy him new shoes. The girls were busy with their extracurriculars, so it was only mother and son.
Anne never imagined she would run into Matthew there. He was working at the pretzel shop, in charge of distributing free samples at the mall, and Alan ran up to him asking for some.
“Alan, don’t run away from me like that,” she said to him before catching a glimpse of Matthew’s surprised eyes.
“Anne?”
“Matthew? What are you doing here?” she asked, looking at his uniform and the pretzel tray. It didn’t make sense. Matthew worked in an office as an executive. He earned a decent amount of money. He was required to pay tons in child support, but he never did, and Anne didn’t care. She had more than enough for her girls. But he wouldn’t be able to pay what was required with a minimum wage job at the mall.
“I’m working here,” he said and looked at the boy holding her with one hand and munching on a pretzel with the other. “Is this your son?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Yes, this is Alan,” Anne answered, feeling an intense pride that she had a son that wasn’t his. “He’s Harry’s kid.”
“Oh, nice to meet you, Alan,” Matthew said, looking down and giving the kid a weird look. Of course, it was not Anne’s fault that she gave birth to girls. The sperm determines the gender, and everyone knows that. But Matthew had decided to blame her for years and checked out of their marriage because he wanted a boy, as if gender was important at all.
Luckily, the girls now had an actual father figure, thanks to Harry, who loved them dearly from the first moment they met. They didn’t need him, and Anne never had to see him.
“Listen, Anne. I didn’t want to ask this now. I wanted to take you to coffee or something. But I’m desperate. I lost everything due to my lifestyle, and I was wondering if we could sell our old house,” Matthew asked, his head down in shame.
“Oh… well, it’s currently being rented. But I’ll think about it,” Anne said. “We have to go now. I’ll call you about the house.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
She grabbed Alan’s hand tightly and walked away from the man who didn’t know what he had thrown away. But she was going to be the bigger person. She sold the house and gave him half its worth, although legally, she could keep the entire thing. But something in her gut told her to do the right thing.
Eventually, Matthew asked to see the girls, but none of them wanted that. The twins were teenagers who grew to hate him, and the rest followed their big sisters’ footsteps. Matthew stopped asking about them and stopped calling after a while. They never saw him again. He wasn’t family.
What can we learn from this story?
- Family is more than just DNA. Matthew didn’t want to be a father to his children, and Harry stepped up for the girls.
- You might regret your actions. Matthew lost everything, including his high-paying job, and it was clear he regretted what he did, but he couldn’t take it back.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Psychologists Explain Things We All See in Dreams, and It’s Better Not to Ignore Them
Humankind has been trying to solve the mystery of dreams for as long as they’ve existed. Today there is even a special discipline in the study of dreams called oneirology. Those who prefer the esoteric side of things over science love to interpret their dreams according to various dream books and believe that they can predict the future. But psychologists think that dreams accurately reflect our current condition and that our subconscious tries to tell us something important via dreams from time to time.
We at Bright Side have learned that there are dreams that are common for all of us. Each of us sees these types of dreams every now and then. These dreams are caused by our ancient instincts, a cultural code, the experience of our ancestors, and personal experience. A psychologist and an expert in the field of dreams, Patricia Garfield, calls them “universal dreams” and says, “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe.”
1. Falling
In adulthood, we see falling more often than flying. According to the psychologist Ian Wallace, a dream about falling symbolizes the fear of losing control. You can’t control something in your life anymore because some drastic changes that you were not ready for took place in your life. Think about what sphere of life (work, relationships, finances, health, etc.) you feel most suppressed or vulnerable in as well as the ways to correct it.
Some scientists explain dreams about falling with simple physiology. As the body is sinking into sleep, the nerve system starts to calm down, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease and your falling asleep brain (especially if it was overwhelmed during the day) can perceive this physiological change as danger or an approaching death and therefore, makes you wake up suddenly.
The opposite version of this dream is flying which signifies freeing oneself from some hard burden and getting the desirable freedom.
2. Teeth that fall out and injuries
Our subconscious interprets teeth as an indicator of strength, and an ability to “bite off” a piece of the world. “Perhaps, you have recently been feeling unarmed and helpless in the real world,” Penney Peirce explains.
Patricia Garfield, another expert who’s studied dreams for many years, connects dreams about teeth falling out with hidden anger. As a rule, when we suppress anger, we clench our jaw, and our teeth might start to creak and grind. This dream might be signaling that it’s high time to get rid of negative feelings.
We often have dreams where someone close to us is wounded or sick. Those dreams cause consternation; however, from psychology’s point of view, things are not that bad. It’s simply our fears of the future and inevitable changes with those close to us. If you see your own death, it means that some part of you is dying and staying in the past to give space to something new.
“Opposite” dreams about birth and recovery usually appear when something new is taking place in a person’s life (like a new job or project) and symbolize a new experience.
3. Failure at an exam or public performance
You’re about to take an exam and suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything or you can’t say a word when standing in front of a big crowd. These dreams might be experienced not only by students and school kids but also by people who have graduated a long time ago. It’s likely that you had some stress shortly before going to sleep or was extremely worried about something. In this case, it’s better to take a short break and relax.
4. Being chased or persecuted
Such dreams have several different meanings. An expert in the field of dreams named Lauri Loewenberg says, “People that tend to avoid conflict, who are afraid of ruffling feathers or causing issues will have the recurring dream of being chased.”
Pay attention to the thing chasing you — they symbolize an unpleasant feeling or situation that you try not to think about in real life. It can be debt or addiction. Are you chased by a person you know? Think about what or who you associate this person with. They might indicate some other person or even a part of your personality that you don’t want to admit (like a hidden talent or aspiration) in your dream.
There’s also a theory saying that dreams about running away from someone are simply the echoes of primitive instincts that are in our genes thanks to our ancestors. All because they were constantly running from predators.
5. Inappropriate clothes or an absence of any
In your dream, you turn up in a public place wearing inappropriate clothes or not wearing anything at all. In this situation, it’s important to pay attention to the feelings you encountered in your dream. These dreams are usually followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment.
Psychologist Ian Wallace notes, “It means that you feel vulnerable at your new job or in your new relationship and are afraid that others will learn about your weaknesses and disadvantages.” However, if you don’t feel any shame in your dream but instead feel proud of yourself, the dream has the opposite meaning. Perhaps you feel a lack of recognition and admiration and would like others to see your talents as well as your personality more.
6. A catastrophe or an apocalypse
We’ve all dreamed about natural or man-made disasters where we’re scared for our own lives and the lives of those close to us. These dreams might indicate personal problems that have gotten out of control or are a result of feeling threatened by something. Of course, constant messages in the media about catastrophes and terrorist acts worsen the situation. As a result, we start feeling vulnerable in the modern world.
Sometimes, when having a nightmare, we try to shout out loud but feel that our voice has left us, which causes an even bigger fear. Psychologists explain it as sleep paralysis. During the last phase of sleep, when we have dreams, our brain purposefully paralyzes the body so that we can lie still and not “live” in our sleep by running, jumping, etc. People who have sleep paralysis usually wake up before the end of the last phase and enter a state between sleep and reality for a short period. This can be felt as an inability to move, speak, and, in some cases, breathe.
7. Faulty equipment or vehicles
You try to use some gadget or device, and it breaks right away. For example, your phone stops working, and you can’t call anyone. According to Patricia Garfield, these dreams are more often experienced by women and symbolize worries about relationships or losing an emotional connection with someone.
Dreams in which you’re trying to operate a vehicle that doesn’t work properly or breaks down are in the same category. You are likely missing support and can’t cope with a difficult life situation by yourself.
8. Pregnancy
As strange as it might sound, it’s not only women who can have dreams about pregnancy. A psychologist name David Bedrick says, “Pregnancy symbolizes something new growing inside us.” You subconsciously dream about “giving birth” to a new fascinating creative project. It can be anything from writing a book to repairing a house. It’s time to set a goal and show the world how you can take on this new role.
If you’re not pregnant in real life, you may be seeking fulfillment after having such a dream.
9. Being late
Dreams that have you running after a departing train or running late for an important meeting can occur quite often. According to a dream expert, Michael R. Olsen, they can symbolize the fear of missing out on something very important in your relationships or in the upbringing of your child, for example. If you’re constantly overwhelmed and don’t have much time to accomplish things in real life, your subconscious is signaling that it’s time for you to reconsider your schedule and free up time for really important things.
10. An unknown room
Dreams about new rooms are about self-knowledge. If you find yourself in an unknown house in your dream, it means that you don’t know yourself well and try to neglect some sides of your character. A separate unfamiliar room symbolizes that you have a hidden talent, skill, or opportunity that you don’t use.
A psychotherapist named Eddie Traversa thinks that we subconsciously associate some rooms with certain processes. A kitchen is a place where products get transformed into a finished dish which means that you’re currently going through some inner changes. A bathroom is a symbol of freeing oneself from unnecessary baggage. It might symbolize that it’s time to get rid of something that is not needed any longer. A bathroom is a symbol of cleansing and it means that you feel the necessity to clarify things or see them in a different light. A bedroom signifies the things that worry you in your romantic relationship.
Have you ever experienced any of these dreams or do you usually see something different? Please tell us about it in the comments!
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