Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
After My Son’s Death, My Daughter-in-Law Packed My Things and Told Me to Leave My Own Home
After losing her son, Daniel, in a tragic accident, Janet finds herself drowning in grief and memories of the home they once shared. But when her daughter-in-law, Grace, abruptly shows up and forces her to leave, Janet is devastated. What seems like a heartless betrayal turns into an unexpected act of compassion as Grace reveals her true intentions…
When Daniel died, my world shattered.
He wasn’t just my son; he was my best friend, my confidant, the one person who made the house feel alive. The silence that followed his passing felt unbearable. I thought his wife, Grace, and I would find solace in each other’s grief.
Flowers in a graveyard | Source: Midjourney
Instead, I discovered just how wrong I could be.
Grace and I had always been polite strangers. Sure, we shared holidays and awkward small talk at family dinners, but the only real bond we had was Daniel. Without him, we were just two women orbiting the same loss, unable or unwilling to connect.
It had been a month since the funeral when Grace showed up unannounced. I was in the living room with Bella, my Chihuahua, who immediately bristled at the sight of her.
Grace stepped inside, her heels clicking on the hardwood, her face unreadable as stone.
A Chihuahua sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“We need to talk, Janet,” she said without pleasantries.
I set down my cup of tea and met her eyes, my stomach twisting.
“What’s going on, Grace?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she walked past me, down the hallway, and into the bedroom.
“Excuse me?” I called after her, already on my feet. “You said you wanted to talk? What on earth are you doing?”
She turned to face me, her expression cold and calculated.
A woman standing in a hallway | Source: Midjourney
“You need to pack. I’m taking you out of here.”
My heart lurched, like something big was about to happen.
“What are you talking about? This is my home!”
She scoffed loudly, making Bella growl from the doorway.
A woman standing in a doorway | Source: Midjourney
“This was Daniel’s house, Janet. He bought it years ago, remember? He insisted you move in so we could all be closer. And now that he’s gone, it’s mine.”
I stepped into the room, my hands trembling.
“Grace, I’ve lived here for years. I raised my son in this house! You can’t just kick me out!”
Her gaze didn’t even falter.
A woman standing in front of a closet | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve arranged for you to move into a care facility. They allow pets, so Bella can come with you. Look, Janet, it’s pointless to fight. It’s already done.”
I just stared at her. A care facility? Like I was some frail old woman who couldn’t take care of herself?
“You don’t have the right to do this,” I said. “You didn’t even talk to me about this. You didn’t ask what I wanted, Grace!”
A reception at a care facility | Source: Midjourney
“I didn’t need to ask,” she replied, her voice steady but not unkind. “You can’t stay here, Janet. Not alone. It’s not good for you, and you know that too.”
“Not good for me?” I spat. “Or not good for you? Do you want to erase every memory of Daniel that doesn’t fit into your new life? Is that it?”
Her face tightened, but she didn’t reply. Instead, she picked up a suitcase and began folding my clothes into it. Bella whimpered from her spot on the bed, her eyes darting between me and Grace.
A Chihuahua sitting on a pet bed | Source: Midjourney
“Stop this,” I said, stepping forward. “Please, Grace. Let’s talk about this.”
“I tried to talk to you,” she shot back, her voice rising for the first time. “But every time I’ve come here, you’ve been… stuck. Sitting in the same chair, staring at the same photos, refusing to move forward. Do you think that’s what Daniel would’ve wanted for you?”
Her words stung, and tears sprang to my eyes.
An upset woman sitting by a window | Source: Midjourney
“Don’t you dare tell me what Daniel would’ve wanted! You don’t know what this house means to me.”
She paused then, her hands gripping the edge of the suitcase. For a moment, I thought she might stop, that she might soften and realize what was happening.
But when she looked back at me, her face was set like stone again.
A suitcase on a bed | Source: Midjourney
“I know you’re hurting, Janet,” she said quietly. “But this isn’t up for debate. You’re leaving today.”
Within an hour, my things were packed and loaded into Grace’s car. I sat in the passenger seat, clutching Bella’s carrier like a lifeline, too stunned to fight anymore.
The streets blurred outside the window as Grace drove in silence, her knuckles white on the steering wheel.
Packed suitcases in a car | Source: Midjourney
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I said finally, my voice cracking. “Daniel would be so disappointed in you.”
Her jaw tightened, but she didn’t look at me.
“You think I’m doing this to hurt you?” she asked after a moment, her voice low and tight. “You think this is easy for me?”
“If it’s not easy, why are you doing it?”
A woman in a car | Source: Midjourney
“Because I’m trying to save you, Janet!” she snapped, her voice breaking. “I couldn’t leave you in that house, drowning in memories. It’s not good for you. And it’s not good for me either.”
I stared at her, too stunned to respond. The rest of the drive passed in tense silence, the air between us heavy.
I didn’t realize that she was trying to save me. I didn’t think there was anything about me factored into the situation. I had just thought that she wanted me out so that she could do whatever she wanted with the house.
An older woman sitting in a car | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t think Grace cared enough…
When she finally pulled into a driveway, I braced myself for the sight of some sterile nursing home, complete with fake potted plants and a sign reading Welcome to Sunrise Acres or something of the sort.
Instead, I saw Grace’s house.
The exterior of a house | Source: Midjourney
“What… why are we here?” I asked, my voice trembling.
Grace parked the car but didn’t answer right away. When she finally turned to me, her expression had softened, and I saw something in her eyes I hadn’t seen in weeks.
Vulnerability.
An upset woman sitting in a car | Source: Midjourney
“Janet,” she said quietly. “I’m not sending you to a home.”
I blinked, the words not quite registering.
“What?”
“Mom,” she said softly.
I hadn’t expected her to call me that. She had only done it once, on their wedding day. I didn’t think Grace cared enough to see me as a mother figure in her life.
A couple’s wedding photo | Source: Midjourney
“I wanted you here,” she said, her voice breaking. “I didn’t know how to ask. I thought that if I gave you an invitation, you’d say no. You’d tell me you didn’t need me, that you could handle everything on your own. So I did it this way. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
I stared at her, my mind racing to catch up.
“You… you wanted me to live with you?” I gasped.
A surprised woman sitting in a car | Source: Midjourney
She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes.
“We’ve both lost Daniel, and I’ve been struggling so much. It may seem like I’m back on my feet, but I can barely do anything by myself. I can’t eat properly because I don’t want to eat alone. I can’t go on walks anymore, because I don’t want to walk alone… I need you. Please. And Bella, too.”
Inside, the house smelled of fresh paint and lavender. Grace had prepared a room for me. There were hangers in the closet, just waiting for my clothes, and a small bed for Bella tucked in the corner.
A cozy bedroom | Source: Midjourney
On the dresser were framed photos of Daniel, his lopsided grin frozen in time.
Bella sniffed her new bed tentatively, then padded in a circle before curling up with a soft whine. Watching her settle, I felt my chest loosen for the first time in weeks.
“You look hungry, darling,” I told Grace. “Let’s go make my famous cottage pie, shall we?”
A woman standing in a doorway | Source: Midjourney
That night, over cups of tea and cottage pie, Grace and I sat at the kitchen table and talked. For the first time in what felt like forever, we didn’t avoid the topic of Daniel.
“He always used to have the worst jokes,” Grace said, laughing softly. “Remember the time he tried to convince us that his karaoke was ‘performance art’?”
I smiled through my tears.
A cottage pie on a table | Source: Midjourney
“He got that from his father, Grace. Bill was exactly the same. Terrible jokes were his superpower. But you couldn’t help laughing anyway! Do you think they’re making everyone laugh in heaven?”
We stayed up for hours, sharing memories of the man we’d both loved. Grace told me things I’d never known about him—like how he brought her daisies every Wednesday because she didn’t like roses, or how he sang her favorite songs off-key just to make her laugh.
For the first time, I saw Grace not as the aloof woman who had married my son, but as someone who loved him just as deeply as I did.
A bouquet of flowers | Source: Midjourney
“We’ll never stop missing him,” she said softly, her hands wrapped around her mug. “But maybe we can help each other find a way to keep going. And, Janet? We can go back to your place and get all your belongings. I’m sorry I did things this way.”
Grace’s harsh approach that day had been flawed, even cruel, but it came from a place of care. And in the end, she didn’t just give me a place to stay. She gave me hope.
Two smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
If you’ve enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you |
At Thanksgiving Dinner, My Daughter Stood up and Shouted, ‘And Where’s the Woman Dad Keeps in Our Shed?’
Thanksgiving dinner with the family was supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but it unexpectedly turned into something scary and shocking when I discovered that my husband was keeping a secret that could push us apart.
Thanksgiving was meant to be picture-perfect. The table was set with fine china, the rich aroma of turkey filled the room, and laughter bubbled over from every corner.
My husband, Peter, was putting the finishing touches on the turkey while I checked that everyone was comfortable. Little did I know that the holiday would come with more surprises than anticipated.
A family at a Thanksgiving dinner | Source: Midjourney
Our daughter, Emma, an expressive eight-year-old with endless curiosity, had been unusually quiet all evening, though she kept glancing out the window as if expecting someone, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her dress. She also couldn’t sit still.
It wasn’t unusual for Emma to have her head in the clouds. I assumed she was waiting for her cousins to arrive or perhaps was just excited for the Thanksgiving meal. But as Peter offered her a smile from across the table, she didn’t smile back, and her restlessness began to tug at my attention.
A little girl looking outside | Source: Midjourney
I was about to carve the turkey after everyone had taken their seat, and Peter was ready by my side to begin dishing out slices when, out of nowhere, our daughter surprised us by standing on her chair. Her tiny frame somehow commanded the entire room’s attention.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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