Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
My Fiancé Cheated on Me, and My Family Helped Hide It — Story of the Day
I thought my wedding rehearsal dinner would be a joyful celebration, but it turned into a night of shocking revelations. I discovered my fiancé’s betrayal and my family’s role in keeping it a secret. As the truth unfolded, everything I knew about love and loyalty was shattered.
I watched as my fiancé Andy got ready to leave again. Lately, he was always disappearing somewhere. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Do you really have to go?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
“Yes, it’s for work. I can’t refuse,” Andy replied, not meeting my eyes.
“You seem to be going out for work quite often these days,” I said, trying to sound casual.
Andy stopped what he was doing and looked at me. “What are you implying?” he asked, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Nothing,” I replied quickly. “Just stating a fact.”
But inside, I felt a growing suspicion. Something didn’t feel right.
Andy grabbed his things and went into the bathroom. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was cheating on me. He was always texting someone, going somewhere, and having constant meetings.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
My heart sank every time he left without much explanation. Suddenly, his phone received a message. I glanced at the bathroom door, hearing the shower turn on. The sound of running water filled the apartment. This was my chance.
I knew it was wrong, and I had never done it before, but I couldn’t live with the thought that he was cheating on me. My hands trembled as I picked up his phone. Andy didn’t know that I knew his phone password. Now, it played into my hands. I unlocked his phone and quickly looked at the source of the message.
It was a group chat named “Andy and Kira.” My heart skipped a beat. Kira was my best friend, and I didn’t understand what this was all about. My mind raced with questions, and I needed answers.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I looked at who was in the chat. Andy, Kira, my mom, my sister, and my brother. What the…?! My heart pounded in my chest. I scrolled to the top of the chat and saw that it was created eight months ago. The first message was from Andy.
@Andy:
I’m sorry you had to find out about Kira and me like this. But I can’t let Erin find out. I love them both and still want to marry Erin…
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
My mom was upset at first. She said Andy couldn’t treat me like this, but after a few days, a message came from her.
@Clarissa:
Do you really love Kira?
@Andy:
Yes.
Then my brother Scott and my sister Maria joined in.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
@Scott:
Maybe you should try an open relationship.
@Maria:
Yes, it’s very popular now. Many couples live like this.
@Andy:
We’ve been together too long. Erin would never agree to an open relationship.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
@Clarissa:
Then we will help you. We will help you hide this relationship until you are ready to talk to Erin.
@Andy:
Thank you, guys! I really appreciate it.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. How could my family have the audacity to suggest this to my fiancé and hide it from me for so long? I scrolled through the chat and took numerous screenshots.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I found out that Kira went on a trip with my family and Andy when I got sick and couldn’t go. What broke my heart the most wasn’t that Andy was cheating but that my mom was so calm about it and even supported him.
I didn’t understand how she could do this; I was her child, not Andy. I took screenshots of the entire chat, including the one between Andy and Kira, which had quite a few provocative photos from both of them, then sent them to myself and deleted them from Andy’s phone so he wouldn’t notice.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
When Andy came out of the shower, I tried to act normal, even though I wanted to punch him. I watched him walk around the room, getting dressed, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me.
My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt a mix of anger and betrayal. He smiled at me, completely unaware.
Andy got ready, and I saw him to the door. I tried to stay calm, even though every fiber of my being wanted to confront him right then and there.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Goodbye, honey, I love you,” he said and kissed me on the cheek. I felt like tearing my skin off at that moment.
“Me too,” I replied, trying not to show that something was wrong.
For a few days, I couldn’t find peace, and I was constantly nauseous from nerves. Andy started to worry a lot and even bought me a pregnancy test, which I wanted to throw in his face; the last thing I needed was to get pregnant by this jerk. Every time I saw him, my anger and frustration grew.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
But finally, the day of the rehearsal dinner arrived, and I was ready to reveal what Andy and my family had done. I was very nervous, feeling like my whole body was shaking.
Andy said he needed to go somewhere before dinner. I held back from saying, “To your lover, Kira?” But I was glad he was going; I didn’t want to see him or be in the same room with him.
I gathered all the screenshots and set them on a timer to send out at 5:30 p.m., right during the rehearsal dinner. They would be sent to Kira’s family, my family, Andy’s family, and all our friends. I knew it would be explosive, but it was the only way to make sure everyone knew the truth.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
When I arrived at the restaurant, my mom and her husband were already there. She hugged me, and it felt like I was going to throw up. I quickly hugged her back to avoid suspicion.
“You have no idea how happy I am for you and Andy,” my mom said, her voice full of excitement.
“Yes, me too,” I replied, forcing a smile. It was all I could muster.
The restaurant was beautifully decorated, and everyone seemed so happy. It made me sick to see them all so cheerful, knowing the betrayal that lay beneath the surface.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I spotted Kira, laughing with some of our friends. She looked so carefree, as if she hadn’t been sneaking around with my fiancé.
As more guests arrived, my anxiety grew. I kept glancing at my watch, counting down the minutes until 5:30 p.m. Andy finally showed up, acting as if nothing was wrong, greeting everyone with a big smile.
The restaurant buzzed with laughter and conversation. When all the guests had gathered, Andy stood up to give a toast. He cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Thank you all for coming today,” Andy began. “I can’t express how much I love Erin and how happy I am that our families can now unite into one big family.”
How dare he say that? I felt my stomach churn. How could he have the audacity to make this speech? But I smiled and nodded, keeping up the act. Kira sat there, grinning as if she hadn’t betrayed me.
Andy continued his speech. “From the moment we first met, I knew Erin was the love of my life. I want to spend every minute with her. Our first date—”
He couldn’t finish because everyone’s phones started ringing simultaneously. People looked around in confusion, checking their screens.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Did you prepare a surprise for us?” my mom asked, her eyes bright with curiosity.
“Something like that, but I’m not sure you’ll like it,” I replied with a forced smile. My heart pounded in my chest.
“Stop it. I’m sure you did a wonderful jo—” Mom froze in shock as she opened the messages on her phone. She couldn’t finish her sentence, her face pale. I watched her reaction, feeling a mix of satisfaction and sorrow.
Kira, sitting nearby, looked at Andy in panic. Andy grabbed his phone, his face turning from confusion to horror. He looked at me, his eyes wide with fear.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Erin, I can explain everything,” he stammered. But he didn’t get the chance.
My aunt Teresa jumped up from her seat, her face red with rage. “You heartless witch! How could you do this?!” She shouted at my mom, her voice shaking with fury.
“I’m heartless?! Erin planned all this! How could you ruin our lives?!” my mom shouted back, her eyes blazing with anger.
My grandparents tried to hold Aunt Teresa back while she yelled at my mom, calling her every name in the book. The restaurant turned into chaos, everyone shouting and arguing. The joyful atmosphere had turned into a battlefield.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Kira ran up to me, her eyes pleading. “I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice trembling. “But I hope you understand, we couldn’t help our feelings. We’ve always been best friends, and I hope we can get through this and remain friends.”
Her words made my blood boil. I slapped her hard across the face, the sound echoing in the room. “How dare you call yourself my best friend after everything you did?!” I shouted, my voice breaking.
“Erin! Don’t touch her!” Andy yelled, rushing toward us.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I turned to him, my eyes filled with anger. “You’re the most pathetic man I’ve ever seen. I truly pity you because you’ll have to live with this.”
Andy’s face fell, and he stepped back, looking defeated. The room was in chaos, with people yelling and crying. I felt a strange calmness wash over me. The truth was out. There was no turning back. I had exposed their betrayal.
I walked away from them and went to Aunt Teresa, who was still yelling at my mom.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Let’s go, they’re not worth it,” I said, taking her arm. Aunt Teresa listened to me as we headed for the restaurant exit. Before leaving, I flipped the cake on the table, sending it crashing down.
“Enjoy your sweet life, lovebirds!” I shouted over my shoulder. Aunt Teresa and I walked out of the restaurant together.
Once we were outside, Aunt Teresa looked at me with concern. “I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice soft.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“It’s going to be okay,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. “For now, I’m just happy that Andy paid for the entire wedding. He won’t get a cent back because it was supposed to be tomorrow.”
Aunt Teresa nodded. “Considering how many guests you were going to have, he’s definitely going to be bankrupt.”
“Yeah,” I said, with a small sense of satisfaction. “And I also found messages between Andy and Kira insulting his boss. I have a feeling Andy will be out of a job soon since those screenshots somehow made their way to his boss.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Aunt Teresa raised her eyebrow. “And they say miracles don’t happen,” she replied, a hint of a smile on her face. We both laughed.
The laughter felt good, but it was mixed with tears streaming down my face. My heart was broken, but I knew I had done the right thing. Everyone would get what they deserved.
As we walked away from the restaurant, Aunt Teresa put her arm around me. “You did the right thing, Erin. You’re strong, and you’ll get through this.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“I hope so,” I said, wiping my tears. “It just hurts so much right now.”
“I know it does,” she replied. “But you’ve taken the first step to moving on. You’ve exposed the truth. Now you can start healing.”
We kept walking, and I felt sadness and relief. The truth was out, and there was no turning back. It was time to face whatever came next, but at least I wouldn’t have to face it alone.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t know what I would have done without you,” I told Aunt Teresa.
“You’ll always have me,” she said. “We’re family, and we stick together.”
I smiled, feeling a bit of comfort in her words. We continued down the street, leaving the chaos behind us. It was a new beginning, and I was ready to face it head-on.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
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If you enjoyed this story, read this one: Kate always felt like an outsider in her family, where her mother and sister received all the attention. After her father’s death, her life changed unexpectedly. Kate’s husband betrayed her with her sister for an inheritance, and then, shocked by new circumstances, begged her to take him back.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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