I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
Man Finds a Baby Boy Wrapped in Blankets in a Basket and Adopts Him – 17 Years Later, a Stranger Returns for the Boy
The dilapidated fishing boat rocked gently against the wharf as Lucas tied the final knot.
The modest cottage on the village outskirts awaited him, as it had every evening since Maria passed. There was no laughing from children, no warm hug, just the silent companionship of his thoughts and images of the lady he adored but couldn’t replace.
He looked at Maria’s portrait on the mantel. “Should’ve listened when you wanted children,” he said quietly. “Always said we had time. Now look at me, talking to your picture like you might answer back.”
Suddenly, a faint but clear sound interrupted his thoughts. It sounded like a whimper or cry carried by the wintry wind.
His heart nearly stopped when he saw it: a woven basket on his porch, with blankets stirring inside.
“Dear God,” he muttered, taking the bundle in his arms. A baby boy, no more than a few months old, looked up at him with wide, interested eyes.
“Where did you come from, little one?” Lucas searched the vacant street, but whoever had left this valuable cargo had long gone, leaving only a note in the basket:
“Don’t look for me. Please take care of him. And love him like your own. Thanks & Goodbye.”
A tear streamed down Lucas’ cheek as he remembered Maria’s comments from years ago: “A child’s love is the purest thing in this world.”
“Matias,” he whispered gently, the name returning to him like a whisper from the past. It was Maria’s father’s name, a good, robust name for a son. “What do you think about that, little one? Would you like to be Matias?”
That night, Lucas constructed a makeshift crib out of an old wooden crate, filling it with nice blankets. He placed it next to his bed, unable to stomach the notion of leaving the infant alone in another room.
“I promise you,” he whispered, reaching down to touch the baby’s velvet cheek, “I’ll be the father you deserve.”
The infant slept soundly, one little hand still curled around Lucas’s finger, as if it knew he was home.
Seventeen years passed like leaves in the wind.
Matias looked up unexpectedly one morning while they were working in the garden. “Dad? Remember when you told me about finding me?”
Lucas’s hands remain still on the tomato plants. “Of course.”
“Were you… were you ever sorry? That someone left me here?”
Lucas drew his son closer, soil-covered hands and everything. “Matias, you weren’t left here. You were given to me. The greatest gift I’ve ever received.”
Suddenly, the screech of tires outside interrupted their peaceful conversation. Lucas looked out the window and saw a sleek red Mercedes approaching. A tall man wearing an expensive suit came from the car.
The knock seemed to reverberate throughout the house.
The man’s voice was educated and cautious. “I’m Elijah. We need to talk about the boy. I’m here to take him.”
“Who on earth are you? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, his fingers pressing against the doorframe until his knuckles turned white.
“I think you do.” Elijah’s eyes fixed on a point over Lucas’s shoulder. “Hello, Matias.”
“You’re my nephew and I’ve been looking for you for 17 years.” Elijah’s voice softened. “May I come in? This isn’t a conversation for doorways.”
Elijah spoke of his sister — Matias’s mother — of her struggles, her disappearance, and her deathbed confession just weeks ago.
“She was young and scared,” Elijah explained, his perfectly manicured hands clasped in his lap. “Our father wouldn’t have understood. She ran away with you after her boyfriend, your dad, dumped her, hoping you could have a better life than she could provide at that time.”
“So she left me on a doorstep?” Matias’s voice cracked. “Like I was NOTHING?”
Elijah added, looking to Lucas, “he’s all we have left of her. And there’s so much waiting for him. The best schools, connections, opportunities. A life beyond…” he motioned to their humble surroundings.
“He’s right though, isn’t he?” Lucas’s voice broke. “You deserve more than fish nets and vegetable gardens. More than an old man’s company.”
“I want to go,” Matias said softly after a long silence.
Lucas turned, stung.
“Son—”
The goodbye was too fast after 17 years of love. Lucas helped pack a bag, his hands shaking as he folded Matias’ favorite blue sweater, which he had saved three months’ worth of fishing money for.
Lucas stood in the doorway, watching as the red Mercedes vanished, taking his heart with it. Matias’ face was tilted backward, watching him through the rear window, his hand pressed on the glass.
Days blended together. The silence was no longer peaceful, but oppressive. Lucas began talking to the chickens more, just to hear a voice — any voice — in the yard.
Then, one evening, a knock came on the door. He opened the door to find Matias standing there, with sagging shoulders and red eyes.
“They’re nice, Dad. They’re my blood. But you’re…” Matias’s voice broke. “You’re my FATHER! The only one I’ve ever needed. The only one I’ll ever need. I can’t be without you.”
“This time, I’m not leaving you… no matter what.”
He seized Lucas’ hand and clutched it fiercely, as if to compensate for the weeks they’d been away. They realized they were all each other needed.
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