I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, and we were supposed to get married next month. But during a visit to my parents, he discovered their secret lifestyle, causing him to question our relationship too.
I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, but we’ve known each other for nine. We were supposed to get married next month, but then everything changed the course of our wedding journey.
We went to visit my parents to introduce him to more of my extended family before the wedding. My parents offered to host us, and we’ve been staying in my old room for the sake of nostalgia.
My fiancé, Adam, wanted to stay at a hotel, but I thought it would be fun to just have him share my old room with me.
“I don’t see why staying in your childhood home is going to change anything,” Adam told me when we were packing for the trip.
“Because it’s going to be my last time with my parents under their roof before I become a married woman. It’s going to be a sentimental moment,” I replied.
“If it gets uncomfortable, I’m just going to check myself into a hotel,” he said casually.
Of course, I didn’t expect what would happen next.
We got to my parents’ home, and everyone was excited to see us. My mother and aunt had cooked up an elaborate meal for us, ready to just sit down at the table and get to know Adam better.
All through dinner, everything went as well as expected, and Adam happily enjoyed having the attention centered around him.
“This is new for me,” he said as we did the dishes in between the mains and dessert. “I’m not used to having people pay attention to me like this.”
“It’s a good thing,” I said, handing him a plate. “You’re supposed to feel welcome and at home with my family, too.”
As the night died down and we all went to bed, ready for a good night’s sleep before the following day’s family outing to the local theme park, Adam kept disturbing my sleep.
“What’s going on?” I asked, turning to face him.
“I just can’t sleep, Sasha,” he snapped. “It’s not my bed, and I’m not used to sleeping in beds that aren’t my own. And your bed is lumpy and uncomfortable.”
“Just go and take a walk outside,” I grumbled. “The fresh air should make a difference, and you’ll come back and fall asleep.”
“Fine,” he said, getting out of bed and leaving the room.
I was just about to fall asleep again when Adam’s scream pierced the air. I bolted upright in bed with my heart racing.
What on earth was going on? Was there someone in the house? Were we in danger?
While my brain was moving a mile a minute, trying to decide what to do next, Adam stormed back into the room.
“What happened?” I blurted out, uneasy.
My fiancé’s face contorted in a mix of horror and anger, and he paused for a minute before he started yelling.
“I cannot believe it,” he yelled. “Your mom! Sasha! Your mother! She’s kissing another man in the foyer!”
My heart sank. I had hoped that we would have gotten through this entire visit without this.
If anything, I had always dreaded this moment, the time when my parents’ unusual and unconventional marriage would come to light.
I tried to explain, to calm him down, but he wouldn’t have it.
“Call your dad, Sasha,” Adam demanded. “Tell him that your mom is cheating right here in your own home.”
It seemed logical, simple even. And I understood why Adam would think that having my father involved would solve everything.
But he couldn’t be further from the truth.
Before I could react and begin navigating the explanation, my mom walked in, still straightening her clothes.
“I can explain,” she started, but my fiancé cut her off.
“Explain? What’s there to explain? You’re cheating on your husband in his own home!”
“It’s not cheating, darling,” she said softly. “Sasha knows, and she’ll explain it all to you. Shaun and my marriage is different. Very different. It’s unconventional compared to your usual marriage. You need to understand that, Adam, before you judge us.”
Adam turned to me, eyes wide.
“You knew? You knew about this, and you didn’t tell me?”
I tried to reach out to him, but he recoiled.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, and I’m not proud of keeping this secret. But it wasn’t mine to tell.”
“Sasha!” he said, his hands in the air. “You should have told me! This isn’t something that you just keep hidden from the person that you’re going to marry. I don’t know if I can trust you now. This was a setup, wasn’t it? You wanted to introduce me to this lifestyle, isn’t it?”
By this point, I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t understand what Adam was getting at.
I was taken back to a memory from my youth. I was 16, and my friends were planning a sleepover at my home.
“You have the biggest room, Sasha,” my friend Brielle said. “Let’s have it at your place.”
“That’s perfectly fine with me,” I said. “I don’t think my parents will mind at all! And we can watch movies in the living room because my parents have a TV in their room now, so they won’t disturb us.”
“I’ll bring my cotton candy machine,” Brielle said excitedly. “We can have that and popcorn!”
Advertisement
I remember going home after school and telling my mother all about our plans. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
“Sure, honey,” she said. “You girls can take care of yourselves. Dad and I have a dinner that evening.”
Little did I know that later that evening, I would discover the truth about my parents’ marriage.
My friends and I were all sitting on the couch when my parents walked in with another couple. My mother was holding tightly onto a man’s hand as she kicked off her shoes. My father was kissing the other woman.
When they saw me, they were shocked. And they had no choice but to explain the situation to me.
“We are married to each other, and we love each other. We’re committed, honey. But we’re also allowed to see other people if we want to,” my mother explained gently. “There’s nothing wrong with the way we are. And you need to understand that.”
Now, listening to Adam, I was taken back to the same flood of emotions.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I said. “I am dedicated to you. I don’t want that lifestyle.”
But Adam wasn’t having it. He just wasn’t listening. Instead, he began to speak about his mother’s infidelity which had led to his parents’ divorce. It all made him see betrayal everywhere.
“Everything is a red flag for me, Sasha.”
He packed a bag and left for a hotel, saying that he needed a moment to reevaluate our engagement.
I spent the rest of the night crying, feeling the weight of my parents’ choices crashing down on my own relationship.
“You need to talk to him,” my mother said, giving me a cup of coffee. “Just go to him.”
I joined him at the hotel. We barely spoke, the silence heavy with everything left unsaid. I didn’t know if Adam still wanted to be together or not. I suggested that we move to my grandmother’s house for the rest of our stay so that we could talk about everything while still being comfortable.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s okay with me because this hotel is too cold anyway.”
There was a coldness between us that hadn’t been there before.
“I’ve never kept secrets from you,” I told him. “I didn’t know how to bring it up. It’s not something that I like talking about because I struggled to understand it myself.”
Adam sighed, rubbing his temples.
“I get it. But this feels too close to home, Sasha,” he said. “I just need some time.”
We spent the rest of the week at my grandmother’s house, trying to finish the family visit in the best spirits we could muster. My parents apologized to Adam, but it didn’t matter anymore.
It wasn’t about them. It was about the fact that their actions had triggered my fiancé. On the drive home, Adam and I decided that we wanted to stay together and see where life took us.
“But I think we need to go to therapy,” I said, handing Adam a drink.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he said, biting his lip. “Because I need to uncover my own trauma before accepting your parents.”
Now, Adam and I have started talking about everything. From his fears, my shame, our future. We could only heal from this.
What would you have done?
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you.
My Entitled Parents Demanded That I Give Them My New House — My In-Laws Suddenly Stood up for Me
When Carina’s parents kick her out after high school, she has no choice but to navigate her way around life. Years later, after making a success of her life, and her wedding is around the corner, she reaches out to them, only for them to storm into her life, trying to take ownership of what she has worked so hard for.
Ann-Margret cared for her husband – his cause of death broke her heart
I just love Ann-Margret – she is such a warm, sweet and classy woman.
Known for her fiery beauty and undeniable talent, she captured hearts on and off the screen, famously dating Elvis Presley and standing out as one of the few Hollywood stars who truly supported our Vietnam troops.
Yet, despite her iconic career and public admiration, she believes her greatest achievement lies elsewhere…
I just love Ann-Margret – she is such a warm, sweet and classy woman.
Known for her fiery beauty and undeniable talent, she captured hearts on and off the screen, famously dating Elvis Presley and standing out as one of the few Hollywood stars who truly supported our Vietnam troops.
Yet, despite her iconic career and public admiration, she believes her greatest achievement lies elsewhere…
You May Like
Think Harvard is Hard to Get Into? This Company Will Amaze YouBlinkist Magazine
Perhaps it’s my deep connection to Sweden, but I must say Ann-Margret is a personal favorite. She’s simply incredible and all her work speaks for itself. With her delightful humor and genuine charm, she continues to captivate and inspire.
And her timeless beauty is natural and unpretentious, unlike so many in Hollywood.
As recently as last year, the Swedish-American actress and singer released her debut rock album, Born to Be Wild, as reported by The New York Times.
To say that Ann-Margret has experienced it all would be an understatement. The iconic, two-time Oscar nominee, born up north in Sweden, made her mark with memorable roles in the 1960s classics Bye Bye Birdie and Viva Las Vegas.
You can read about her electric romance with Elvis Presley here, but the truth is, he was never the man of her life.
Meeting Roger Smith
Even though she dated stars like Eddie Fisher and Elvis Presley, it was Roger Smith who ultimately won Ann-Margret’s heart.
The strikingly handsome, dark-haired actor had made a name for himself with standout roles in hits like 77 Sunset Strip and Mister Roberts. As a quintessential Hollywood heartthrob, he was used to effortlessly winning over women.
But Ann-Margret was not easily swayed.
“Every other woman I met was falling all over me,” he remembered. “But this innocent, fresh-faced beauty only spoke to me when I spoke to her and the rest of the time ignored me.”
The couple first crossed paths in the 1960s, naturally meeting through their Hollywood careers. However, it wasn’t until 1965 that they began dating seriously.
Some reports suggest that Roger initially invited the Swedish star to one of his performances at a San Francisco club. But he also had another trick up his sleeve.
He knew that Ann-Margret was a passionate motorcycle enthusiast. She loved riding and had several bikes at home, along with an entire wardrobe of motorcycle gear.
”When I first started going out with her, there were a lot of guys hanging around. But they didn’t ride motorcycles. So I figured if I had one, it would help. So I bought one and we went out ridning together. It helped,” he told NEA.
By their third date, Ann-Margret was certain that Roger Smith was the man she had always been searching for.
“I knew he would protect me. I knew that I could depend on him. I sensed it completely,” she told People in 2017.
Tears of sadness
The couple tied the knot in 1967 and their marriage was everything Ann-Margret could dream of. But few knows that their union got off to a bad start. During their wedding ceremony in Las Vegas, in a ”cigarette-smoke-filled room at the Riviera Hotel”, the Bye Bye Birdie star started to cry.
”This is not the way I envisioned my wedding,” Ann-Margret told People and added: ”I think everyone thought I was pregnant because I was crying though the whole thing. But we did it.”
Thankfully, the traumatic wedding experience didn’t matter in the end.
Soon, Roger Smith took on the role of his wife’s manager. He believed in her, admired her, and sacrificed his own acting career to support her. Roger felt that Ann-Margret had more “raw talent” than he did, and he wanted to be close to her.
“Now in Roger I’ve found all the men I need rolled into one — a father, a friend, a lover, a manager, a businessman,” the actress told Rex Reed in 1972.
“It’s perfect for me. I couldn’t exist without a strong man.”
Smith helped Ann-Margret redefine her career played a pivotal role in guiding her away from the ”sex kitten” persona, understanding that she needed to evolve beyond that to maintain a lasting presence in Hollywood. His strategic decisions allowed Ann-Margret to embrace more complex roles, which ultimately led to her breakout performance in Carnal Knowledge in 1971.
By supporting her in what she wanted, Roger Smith found he liked himself much better. Being with Ann-Margret mattered more to him than all his childhood dreams of becoming a famous actor.
”When I met Ann-Margret, I felt happy for the first time in my life,” Smith told New York. ”Once I found Ann-Margret, I couldn’t stand to be without her and, surprisingly, she couldn’t stand to be without me.”
Substance abuse & injury
Throughout their long marriage, Ann-Margret and Roger Smith were incredibly close, both personally and professionally. They experienced high peaks together but also faced significant challenges. For example, Ann-Margret grappled with substance abuse and a life-altering injury.
The Viva Las Vegas star During parts of the 1970s, the Viva Las Vegas star struggled with an addiction to pills and alcohol, finding it difficult to separate fantasy from reality.
In 1972, she suffered a devastating fall from a 22-foot platform while performing in Lake Tahoe, Nevada, breaking nearly every bone in her face. Before a shocked audience at the Sahara Hotel, Ann-Margret fell into an orchestra pit, narrowly escaping death.
She underwent facial reconstructive surgery, requiring her mouth to be wired shut and a strict liquid diet to help her recover. But as if by a miracle, Ann-Margret made a remarkable recovery. But just 10 days and 59 stitches after the terrifying accident, she made a triumphant return to the stage, riding her gleaming Harley-Davidson motorcycle and roaring back to the spotlight with her signature flair.
Her husband, Roger Smith, also played a crucial role in her recovery. When the accident happened, he piloted a stolen plane from Burbank, California, and rushed her to surgeons at the UCLA Medical Center, ensuring she received immediate care.
Roger Smith illness
Ann-Margret’s marriage to Roger Smith took a dramatic turn in 1980 when he was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, an incurable neuromuscular disease. The illness often left Smith unable to even get out of bed in the mornings. Traveling across the country was out of the question, and the disease affected the couple both personally and professionally. Smith, who was the mastermind behind managing Ann-Margret’s career, had to step back due to his health.
By 1985, Smith’s illness went into remission, allowing Ann-Margret to reignite her nightclub career. Smith supported her as she returned to the spotlight, helping her revive her popular Las Vegas shows. For a while, things looked brighter.
When Roger Smith’s symptoms eased, the couple made one final attempt to have children of their own. Before that, Ann-Margret had lovingly embraced her role as stepmother to his three children from a previous marriage.
Sadly, Ann-Margret’s biological clock was ticking faster, and despite consulting numerous fertility experts, they were unable to conceive. They did everything they could, but never had children together — a fact the actress has said is one of the greatest disappointments of her life.
Cause of death
Ann-Margret and Roger Smith remained together until his death in 2017.
The beloved actor and manager passed away at age 84 at Sherman Oaks Hospital in Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles, from complications related to myasthenia gravis.
Before his death, he had also struggled with Parkinson’s disease for many years.
His condition meant that Ann-Margret had to take a break from work to care for him. She showed total commitment to her partner during his lengthy illness.
”I kept saying no, no to everything because I was taking care of him. If you’re a spouse, if one of you has a broken wing, the other takes over,” she said.
Ann-Margret was, of course, heartbroken after her husband’s passing. Yet, she managed to find something positive and she managed to move on with her life.
”When I look back at my life, I am most proud of my marriage,” Ann-Margret told Closer Weekly. “We both wanted it to work. And it did work. We were together night and day. We loved each other and we were always in each other’s corner.”
That New York photo
To truly appreciate the love story of Ann-Margret and Roger Smith, just look at a photo taken on January 1, 1985, in New York.
It captured the Hollywood couple radiating elegance and charm at a high-profile event, showing them both at the height of their careers. But this image is more than just a glamorous snapshot. Roger’s steady gaze and Ann-Margret’s serene presence reflect their deep bond, both personally and professionally.
The rich green curtains in the background give the photo a royal feel, making it a true portrait of Hollywood royalty. What makes this picture even more powerful is that you can see the signs of Roger’s battle with illness. Though not yet fully overtaken by his condition, there’s a quiet awareness of what’s to come. Despite this, the image stands as a beautiful testament to their enduring love.
It’s more than just a memory—it’s a moment frozen in time that celebrates their strength, elegance, and the legacy they built together.
Share this story with someone who appreciates timeless love, and let’s remember how this remarkable couple faced life’s challenges with grace.
Leave a Reply