Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
Minutes Before My Wedding, I Learned the Truth—So I Ran
Minutes before I walked down the aisle to marry the man I thought I’d spend my life with, my world crumbled. A truth so devastating unraveled that I couldn’t face him or our guests. So, I fled. Mascara streaking my face, I ran in my wedding dress down the highway.
We’ve all heard stories about runaway brides, but I never thought I’d become one.
There I was, ditching my own wedding. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t go through with it because minutes before the ceremony, I discovered something about Grant that turned my world upside down.
An upset bride | Source: Midjourney
I’ve always believed life has a way of falling into place when the timing is right.
By thirty, I had everything I ever wanted. A good job in marketing, a beautiful home, and the love of my life, Grant, by my side.
We’d been together for as long as I could remember. We met in high school when I was sixteen, and from that moment, we were inseparable.
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
Grant was everything I’d ever dreamed of in a partner. He was perfect, and he had this way of making me feel like the most important person in the world. After all, that’s what all of us want to feel like, right?
“I’ll always be by your side, Sadie,” he once told me during a quiet evening at the beach.
“And I’ll always be by yours,” I replied, squeezing his hand. “No matter what.”
We talked about our future often. We wanted to get married, start a family, and grow old together.
A couple sitting together | Source: Pexels
“You’re my forever,” he whispered one night, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Those words stayed with me. Even through the ups and downs of life, I believed we’d make it through anything.
So, when he proposed three years ago, I was the happiest woman alive.
It was a perfect day. Grant took me to our favorite spot by the lake, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.
“Yes!” I cried, barely letting him finish his question.
A man holding a woman’s hand | Source: Pexels
We celebrated that night with friends and family, and I couldn’t stop smiling. This was it. My life was finally falling into place.
The next three years flew by in a blur of wedding planning and work. Grant was busy with his job, and I threw myself into making sure our wedding day would be perfect.
To be honest, it was. Until it wasn’t.
I couldn’t have imagined how quickly things would take a turn for the worse.
A woman on her big day | Source: Midjourney
Fast forward to our wedding day.
The church was beautifully decorated with white roses and delicate fairy lights, just as I’d envisioned. Meanwhile, I felt like a princess in my stunning lace gown.
I stood at the back of the church, clutching my bouquet, as my heart raced with anticipation. This was the moment I had been waiting for. Walking down the aisle to the man I loved.
But before I could take a single step, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
A close-up shot of wedding aisle decor | Source: Pexels
“Sadie,” my best friend, Lila, called out. Her face was pale, and her hands shook as she clutched her phone. “I need to talk to you.”
I frowned. “Lila, now? We’re about to start.”
She shook her head fiercely. “No, you need to see this right now.”
I set my bouquet down, confusion turning to dread as I took her phone. The screen showed a Reddit thread.
“Read the post,” Lila urged, her voice trembling. “I found it by accident. It just… popped up.”
A woman using a phone | Source: Pexels
My heart skipped a beat as I scrolled.
The post was titled, When your fiancé celebrates with someone who’s not the bride.
And then my gaze landed on a photo of Grant.
It was taken at his bachelor party two nights before. In the picture, he sat with a woman on his lap. They were kissing.
I stared at the screen, the image burning into my mind.
I could barely process the caption beneath the photo, “Guess she’s not the one walking down the aisle this weekend.”
A bride looking at her friend’s phone | Source: Midjourney
“This can’t be real,” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief.
“Sadie…” Lila placed a hand on my arm, steadying me. “It is. I double-checked. That’s him. That’s Grant.”
I dropped onto the nearest chair, my legs too weak to hold me.
Grant? The man I’d loved for years? My Grant?
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t digest that a photo of my fiancé kissing another woman was circulating online, being dissected by strangers.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered.
An upset bride on her wedding day | Source: Midjourney
That’s when Lila knelt beside me.
“Sadie, you don’t have to,” she said. “You don’t owe him anything. But you need to decide now.”
I looked at her through tears. “What am I supposed to do? There are 150 people waiting for me out there.”
“Forget them,” she said firmly. “This is about you. What do you want to do?”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Every instinct told me to confront Grant, demand answers. But how? In front of everyone?
No. I couldn’t do it. Not like this.
An upset bride thinking about her life | Source: Midjourney
“I’m leaving,” I said while grabbing my things. “I’m done.”
Lila stood, nodding. “I’ll cover for you as long as I can.”
Without looking back, I left the bridal suite. I didn’t know where I was going, but I just kept walking, past the church, past the guests waiting inside.
Cars sped by, honking occasionally at the sight of a bride walking along the highway. My dress dragged through the dirt, and mascara streaked down my face. I must have looked like something out of a sad country song.
Then, a pickup truck pulled over.
A pickup truck | Source: Pexels
I wiped my eyes and glanced up, surprised to see a man leaning out the window.
“Sadie?” he called, his voice unsure. “Is that you?”
I looked at him and immediately recognized him from photos. It was Ethan. Grant’s older brother.
He’d never come to visit while I was with Grant, but I knew who he was. The black sheep of the family, they called him.
“What happened?” Ethan asked, his brows knitting in concern. “Why are you out here like this? Get in. I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”
A man sitting in his car | Source: Midjourney
I shook my head. “Only if you promise to drive me away.”
His lips twitched into a small smile. “Deal.”
I nodded and climbed into the truck.
As we drove, I finally let it all out. The betrayal, the photo, and the humiliation.
Ethan listened quietly, handing me tissues as I sobbed. “What a jerk,” he muttered at one point, making me laugh through my tears.
It felt good to talk.
But just as I started to relax, Ethan slammed on the brakes.
A man holding a steering wheel | Source: Pexels
“What are you doing, Ethan?” I yelped, my heart racing.
Ethan looked at me, guilt etched across his face. “Sadie, I’m sorry. I have to.”
Before I could ask what he meant, he turned the truck around. We were heading straight back to the wedding.
“I can’t go back there,” I said, my voice cracking. “They’re all going to see me like this and I don’t want that! They’ll think I ran away because—”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” Ethan cut me off. “The person who should be humiliated is Grant. Not you. You’ll expose him. Tell everyone what he really is.”
A serious man driving a car | Source: Midjourney
I wanted to argue, to insist he drop me off anywhere but there. But deep down, I knew Ethan was right. The truth had to come out.
“You’ll be there with me?” I whispered.
He nodded. “Every step of the way.”
When we pulled into the church parking lot, the guests were already trickling out. The ceremony had clearly been canceled, but some family members lingered near the entrance, including Grant.
A groom standing in a parking lot | Source: Midjourney
My heart pounded as I climbed out of the truck. Lila spotted me first and rushed over.
“Sadie!” she cried, relief flooding her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I nodded. “I need to do this.”
Grant’s eyes locked on me as I walked toward him with Ethan by my side. His expression shifted from confusion to anger the moment he saw Ethan.
“Where the heck have you been?” Grant snapped. “What’s he doing here?”
I ignored his questions.
A bride standing in a parking lot | Source: Midjourney
Then, I pulled out my phone, opened the post Lila had shown me, and held it up for everyone to see.
“This is why I left,” I announced. “Grant was with another woman two nights ago at his bachelor party.”
Gasps rippled through the small crowd as they looked at the photo.
“That’s not what it looks like!” Grant argued. “It’s taken out of context!”
“Out of context?” I shot back. “How do you explain kissing another woman while celebrating your bachelor party?!”
A bride looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
Grant opened his mouth to speak, but Ethan stepped in front of me, cutting him off.
“Don’t,” Ethan said firmly. “You’ve done enough.”
Grant’s face contorted with fury. “Stay out of this, Ethan! This has nothing to do with you!”
“That doesn’t mean you can get away with this, Grant!” Ethan yelled. “You can’t cheat on Sadie like that!”
At that point, Grant lunged forward and pushed Ethan, but thankfully, Grant’s friends held him back. Their father also came forward and helped Ethan get up.
That day marked the end of my relationship with Grant. I never spoke to him again.
A woman standing near a window | Source: Pexels
But Ethan? We stayed in touch.
Over the following weeks, I learned about his struggles. A failing family farm and a mountain of debt that Grant had refused to help him with.
Ethan was planning to sell his pickup truck, his last possession of value, to stay afloat.
That’s when I had an idea.
I took the money I’d saved for my honeymoon and offered to help Ethan turn his farm into a farm-to-table subscription box business.
It was a risk, but it paid off.
A green field near a house | Source: Pexels
A year later, Ethan invited me back to the farm. The fields were thriving, the business was booming, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
And standing there, side by side with Ethan, I realized I’d gained something far better than a husband. I’d found a loyal partner and the best friend I never knew I needed.
I’m so grateful to Lila for showing me that Reddit post. Otherwise, I would’ve married Grant without knowing what kind of a person he truly was.
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: When Emma proposes a daily “8 p.m. rule” to her fiancé, Matt, she expects it to bring them closer. But Matt’s reaction is far from what she’s imagined. Shocked by the idea, he abruptly calls off the wedding, leaving Emma questioning everything she thought she knew about love and commitment.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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