For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.
This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.
What was Her Childhood like?
In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.
The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.
Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.
The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.
At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”
Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.
The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.
For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.
After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.
She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.
He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.
Life’s Harsh Realities
When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”
The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.
At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.
Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.
The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.
After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.
The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images
Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”
Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.
The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate
By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.
Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”
Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.
After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.
Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”
However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Going Under the Knife
In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”
Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.
Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.
Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.
For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.
Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.
She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”
Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.
While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.
The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.
Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.
“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.
Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.
Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others
Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.
However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.
He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”
When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”
Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.
The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”
She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.
However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.
Celebrating Love and Growth
Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.
The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.
Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.
“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.
The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.
For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.
I Got Engaged to a ‘Perfect’ Woman – When I Met Her Parents for the First Time, I Canceled the Wedding
When I met the woman of my dreams, I believed we were perfect for each other! But after I met her parents, I had major doubts about our future together. It took a while, but I finally saw her for who she was, and I didn’t like it!
As a 31-year-old man, I’d dated a couple of different women in my life, but when I saw Olivia, my life changed. I knew I wanted her to be my wife after our first meeting but learned the hard way that taking time to know someone is ideal. Here’s my story.
A man at a music concert | Source: Midjourney
I met the beautiful and lively Olivia at a concert. When I first spotted her, she was standing near the stage, singing along to every word of our favorite band’s songs—her energy electrifying! I was there alone, trying to soak in the music after a rough week at work, and her joy was contagious!
During the intermission, I managed to maneuver closer to her and struck up a conversation. We clicked instantly, bonding over our shared love for indie rock and terrible karaoke. By the end of the night, I had her number and a gut feeling that I’d just met someone extraordinary!
A man bonding with a woman | Source: Midjourney
Our relationship took off faster than I expected. Olivia was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman! She was charming, passionate, and endlessly supportive! Her vibrant personality was addictive, making every day feel like an adventure.
After only four months of dating bliss, we decided to move in together. It felt right, everything about us felt right! My apartment was small and bland, while Olivia’s place was larger and full of life, like her.
A large apartment | Source: Midjourney
She had plants on every windowsill, cozy blankets, and shelves of well-loved books. Blending our lives was effortless. What I didn’t anticipate was that living together would only deepen my affection for her.
We were the perfect couple in my eyes, and some of my friends who met her thought the same. We cooked dinner together, binge-watched old sitcoms, and hosted game nights with her friends and mine.
A couple hanging out with friends | Source: Midjourney
Olivia had this way of making the mundane feel special, and my friends loved her! After eight months, I knew she was the one! So, I planned another trip to a concert by the same band that was playing when we first met.
I was nervous when I bought the engagement ring, but we’d spoken about our future, and she’d excitedly revealed that she’d love to marry me and have children. That was all I needed to know. I hid the ring in my jacket and pulled it out at the perfect moment.
A man looking at a wedding ring | Source: Midjourney
I proposed at the concert, the same band playing a love song we adored in the background, and she said yes without hesitation! I thought I was the luckiest man alive! But I should’ve known better than to rush into things so quickly.
Because things moved so fast between us, we hadn’t met each other’s families yet. But Olivia always spoke highly of her parents, describing them as “fun and old-school.” She mentioned they were excited about the engagement and wanted to meet me.
A couple talking | Source: Midjourney
They planned a trip to visit us, and Olivia suggested celebrating our engagement with them at an upscale restaurant. I was nervous but eager to make a great impression.
The plan was that Olivia would meet my parents soon afterward. I spent the day preparing for the big day by getting my best suit pressed. I even rehearsed polite conversation and Googled ways to connect with potential in-laws.
A man using his laptop | Source: Midjourney
When we finally arrived at the restaurant, my nerves started kicking in, but I brushed them off, knowing I’d come prepared. As we entered, Olivia helped ease my tension by squeezing my hand and whispering, “Relax, they’re going to love you just like I do.”
But from the moment her parents arrived, I knew this dinner wouldn’t be normal. As soon as we sat down and I was introduced to her parents, they made me regret ever coming.
A couple sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
Her father, Richard, was a broad-shouldered man with a commanding presence and a serious air about him. He barely acknowledged me as he took his seat. Her mother, Diane, adorned in enough jewelry to blind the waiter, gave me a quick once-over before turning to Olivia with a tight-lipped smile.
“So, Tommy, right?” Richard began. Without giving me a chance to respond, he said, “Let’s talk about your future roles now that you’re marrying our daughter.”
A serious older man talking | Source: Midjourney
I smiled, thinking he was referring to becoming part of the family or shared traditions. Instead, he leaned back and said, “Olivia’s been dreaming of quitting her job to be a full-time homemaker. You’ll need to cover all the household expenses so she can focus on that.”
I blinked, unsure if I’d heard him correctly.
Diane chuckled, swirling her wine. “Oh, and don’t forget a little financial help for us wouldn’t hurt. Just a small monthly amount for your new in-laws—it’s the least a loving son-in-law can do, right?”
A happy woman talking | Source: Midjourney
I froze in place, my smile faltering before I managed to squeak, “I’m sorry—what?”
Richard’s face remained stone-cold as he nodded as if the conversation was normal. “You want to marry into the family, right? So, you have to provide. Your wife shouldn’t have to work. And we’ll appreciate a modest amount for our pension from you as well.”
I glanced at Olivia, expecting her to laugh it off! But she only smiled sweetly and said, “It’s not a big deal, baby. Really. It’s how we’ve always done things in our family.”
A happy woman | Source: Midjourney
The waiter conveniently appeared with our drinks, giving me a moment to process this insanity! I felt like I’d been sucker-punched and was struggling to catch my breath. But looking back, there were small things I ignored.
Olivia tended to brush off any serious conversations I wanted to have. Once, when we talked about finances, she laughed and said, “Oh, my parents have always told me I’d marry someone who’d take care of me.” I thought it was a joke, until now.
A couple talking | Source: Midjourney
While everyone placed their food orders, I sat there in awe, mulling over what I’d just heard. When the waiter turned to me, I ordered the first thing I saw on the menu, completely dazed and consumed by what Olivia and her parents had told me.
After the waiter left, Richard continued as if he were negotiating a business merger. “It’s not just about you providing money, of course. My daughter deserves the lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to—vacations, fine dining, spa days, and such. You’ll need to buy her apartment from us too. We raised her with high standards, after all.”
A serious man talking | Source: Midjourney
Diane leaned in. “And eventually, you’ll need a bigger place. This apartment is fine for now, but our grandchildren will need more space. And when we visit, we expect to have a bedroom dedicated to us.”
My appetite completely vanished as the food was served. Every word out of their mouths felt surreal, and so did the whole evening! I glanced at Olivia again, but she just sipped her wine, perfectly comfortable.
A woman holding her wine | Source: Midjourney
I don’t remember what they spoke about for the rest of the dinner. I occasionally smiled, and I think I chipped in with some comments, but I wasn’t there mentally. When the check arrived, Richard didn’t even glance at it.
He made intense eye contact as he slid it toward me without a word. I paid, my hands trembling. The drive home was suffocatingly silent. Olivia fiddled with her engagement ring before finally breaking the silence.
A woman sitting in the passenger’s seat of a car | Source: Midjourney
“So? What did you think of them?”
I gripped the steering wheel, choosing to handle the matter at hand once and for all. “Honestly? I think I can’t marry you.”
Her head snapped toward me. “What? Are you serious?”
I nodded. “Because this isn’t love, Olivia. It’s a business arrangement. Your parents want me to be their retirement plan, and you’re okay with that. That’s not the kind of life I want.”
An upset man driving | Source: Midjourney
Her face twisted in disbelief. “You’re overreacting! It’s just how my family works! You said you loved me!”
“I do—or I did. But love doesn’t come with conditions like this,” I replied.
We argued all the way home. Olivia accused me of being cold, selfish, and unwilling to compromise. But in my mind, the decision was made. As soon as we got home, I packed my things. The same apartment that once felt so alive now felt like a cage.
An upset man packing his clothes | Source: Midjourney
I moved in with my brother, Nate, for a while. He didn’t ask questions, just handed me a beer and let me sit in silence.
A week later, I bumped into one of Olivia’s friends, who told me her parents were livid, not because I’d broken their daughter’s heart, but because their financial plan had crumbled. That was all the confirmation I needed.
Olivia texted me a few times, saying I was throwing away something amazing. But I knew better. Love shouldn’t feel like a contract.
A man looking at his phone | Source: Midjourney
Months passed, and I slowly started rebuilding my life. I joined a local hiking group, reconnected with old friends, and focused on myself. I learned that love isn’t just about how someone makes you feel, it’s about how they support you, challenge you, and grow with you.
Looking back, I realized that walking away was the best decision I ever made. Sometimes, the “perfect” person turns out to be perfect for all the wrong reasons.
And I’m okay with that.
A happy man | Source: Midjourney
If that story had you going, then you’d love this one about a man’s fiancée who thought everything was perfect in their relationship until they went on holiday with his children. He suddenly abandoned the trio at the vacation hotel, leaving his fiancée to think the worst.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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