During a guest appearance on HBO’s Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, the 80-year-old Copacabana singer said he didn’t think it was important to announce his sexuality during the earlier decades of his career.
Manilow came out in 2017, almost three years after he married his husband and manager Garry Kief in a private ceremony. The couple have been together for 45 years now, though they’ve kept much of their relationship away from the public eye.
When he came out to People magazine in 2017, Manilow — whose real name is Barry Pincus — worried he’d be “disappointing” some of his fans by revealing his sexuality. Instead, Manilow, who was 73 at the time, said the reaction from his fanbase was “beautiful.”
Despite his current feelings of nonchalance about his own coming out, Manilow said announcing his sexuality as his career was booming would have been a bad idea.
“Now being gay is no big deal,” he explained. “Back in the ’70s it would have killed a career.”
Regardless, the usually very private Manilow said he thinks “everybody knew that Garry and I were a couple all those years.”
“Really, Garry and I’ve been together for so long,” he said. “It just never dawned on me that we’re going to come out. But when we got married, it was a big deal, so we did.”
Manilow credited Kief for saving his life. He said he is thankful he had Kief to support him as his music career was taking off, despite keeping their relationship under wraps.
“As my career exploded, it was just crazy. And, you know, going back to an empty hotel room, you can get into a lot of trouble if you’re alone night after night after night,” Manilow explained. “But I met Garry right around when it was exploding. And I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms. I had somebody to cry with or to celebrate with.”
Manilow said he did not wish an isolated hotel room for any young people.
“It was pretty lonely until I met Garry. And then it was fun,” he smiled.
Kief is not Manilow’s first spouse. In 1964, Manilow married his high school sweetheart, Susan Deixler. They were married for one year.
Manilow told CNN’s Wallace he “really did love” Deixler, but added “the gay thing was pretty, pretty strong. I couldn’t deny it.”
The singer said he knew he was gay before marrying Deixler, but their marriage ended because Manilow couldn’t be the committed husband his then-wife needed. He revealed that his sexuality was not the reason his marriage failed.
“We had a very nice marriage, it was great, but I was away every night making music, as a young musician would be,” Manilow described. “It wasn’t good for me, and it wasn’t good for her.”
“I couldn’t be the proper husband,” he continued. “I was out making music every night, sowing my wild oats. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
Brooklyn-born Manilow skyrocketed to international fame in 1974 after his release of the ever-popular pop-rock ballad Mandy. He became one of the biggest-selling musicians of all time. Prior to his success as a singer-songwriter, Manilow was behind a number of famous commercial jingles for brands like State Farm and Band-Aid — a gig that he has said helped him create catchy hooks for his own hit songs.
My Wife and I Hadn’t Spoken in 10 Years Until I Found Out She Was Getting Married Again – Story of the Day
My runaway bride reappeared ten years later in heels and a power suit, demanding I sign our divorce papers like we were just neighbors with unfinished business.
I consider myself a loner. Honestly, I still have a wife. She had just run away from our wedding ten years before.
Every year, I get the same envelope from her. New law firm name, new initials, glossy folder — just the way she likes it — a true aesthete, even in divorce proceedings.
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I open it, read halfway through, sigh, and stash it in the drawer. There’s a whole collection, almost like a calendar, for every year of our “fake marriage.”
That morning, as usual, I was cleaning the barn. The snow had melted, the ground was soft, and the tractor refused to start again. My glove was torn; the dog had buried the other boot somewhere.
All, just as it should be. Quiet. Peaceful. The air smelled of fresh grass and smoke. I love that — it smells like life. Real life.
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I reached into the metal mailbox. An envelope. Gold initials. Oh, something new. She switched firms. Progress.
“Well, hello, Mel.”
The dog barked. We understood each other without words those days.
“Would you sign it, Johnny?” I asked my dog, sitting down on the porch with my coffee.
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He sneezed. Wise dog. While I was thinking, Billy dropped by. My childhood friend, a farmer who always smells like apples and diesel fuel.
“So, she sent you another ‘love letter’?” he smirked, setting a basket of fresh bread on the step.
“Yep. Volume Ten. Might auction them off someday.”
“Still not gonna sign?”
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“Nope. I’ve got a principle. If you want to end something — come and say it. No need to yell. Just be honest.”
Billy sighed, gave me a look like he wanted to say something — then changed his mind.
“I’ll get going. Looks like rain’s coming, and I didn’t bring a cover.”
“You’re wearing a leather jacket, Billy.”
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“That’s not a cover — it’s fashion.”
And he left, leaving me with my coffee, my dog, and yet another farewell letter.
I went back inside. Everything is in place. I tossed more logs into the stove. Scratched the dog behind the ear and turned on the radio — the only thing that hasn’t abandoned me over the years.
And then, I heard the sound.
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First — a low engine hum. Then — the familiar squeak of suitcase wheels. Then — high heels crunching on gravel. I stepped onto the porch. And saw her.
Melanie. Her hair was a bit shorter, but her eyes were the same. She had that look — like we saw each other yesterday, even though it’s been ten years.
“Hi, Jake.”
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I smiled. But something inside me clenched.
“Well. Finally decided to come and ask for an autograph in person?”
***
Melanie stepped across the threshold. Her eyes scanned the wedding photo on the mantel.
“You still keep that?” she nodded toward the frame.
“Yep. Nice photo. And the frame isn’t cheap either.”
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Her gaze drifted past the mantel to the plaid throw blanket on the armchair. It was the same one we used to fight over on rainy nights. Her fingers brushed it gently and then paused.
Melanie turned toward the kitchen shelves, where old jam jars stood in a neat row.
“Is that… blueberry?”
“Yeah. From that summer when the berries went wild behind the barn.”
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Melanie gave the faintest nod, but her eyes glistened before she looked away. Then she straightened her posture, smoothed her sleeve, and reached for her briefcase.
She sat at the table and pulled out the documents.
“Jake, I’m serious. My wedding’s in two months. I need everything signed.”
I sat down across from her.
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“The groom wants to make sure you’re officially single?”
“He thinks I’m single. So don’t make this harder than it is.”
“Have you ever been honest with me, Mel?”
“Oh, don’t start.”
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“Fine. Not starting. Just listening.”
She unfolded the papers and laid them out in front of me. I glanced at them.
“Old version. Outdated. Doesn’t even mention the farm.”
“Well, I thought…”
“That nothing had changed? Big surprise, huh?”
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She flared.
“Jake, I didn’t come here for your passive-aggressive lectures. I came because I’m tired of playing silent. I want to end this like an adult.”
“An adult comes sooner than ten years later. An adult doesn’t run off the night before the honeymoon and hide behind envelopes.”
She stood up. Her hands were trembling.
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“If it’s money you want — just say so. How much?”
“Money?” I laughed. “You think I waited ten years for a payout?”
“Then why, Jake?! Why haven’t you signed?”
“Because you still haven’t said why you ran. I have principles.”
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“Oh, Jake, it’s been years. Everything’s changed.”
I stood.
“Yeah, it has. I got my life together. Built something. A business. And by the way, I earned everything I had while we were still married. Officially. Legally. Even the lakeside lot. And those two cow-show trophies? Still during our marriage.”
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She stared at me silently.
“By law, half of it is yours,” I said. “But I’m not handing it over to someone who only dared to mail things once a year.”
“You… you’re blackmailing me?”
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“No. I’m giving you a choice. I’ll sign if you formally waive any claim. At a notary. All legal. But we’ll need to update the paperwork. That takes time.”
She sat back down. “Fine. How long?”
“A week. Maybe two. This isn’t New York. Around here, the internet runs through a tree.”
“Then I’m staying. Technically, it’s my house too.”
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“Technically — yes,” I sighed. “But you’re cooking dinner. I’m allergic to your flower petal salads.”
“And I’m allergic to dust and male ego.”
We stared at each other for a few long seconds. Then, I walked off toward the pantry to break eye contact. Melanie climbed upstairs — offended, with her briefcase under her arm like she’d come here to win, not to talk.
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I knew she wouldn’t survive that silence.
Truthfully, the papers were just an excuse to keep her here a little longer. So I could finally knock some sense into our marriage.
Because I still loved that infuriating woman. Whoever she had become.
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***
Days on the farm passed quickly, but our silence moved painfully slowly.
Melanie spent most of her days in town, hunting for a decent Wi-Fi signal. Meanwhile, I cleaned the house and the yard and planted flowers on the porch.
Billy dropped by one afternoon.
“This place hasn’t looked this good since your wedding, pal.”
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“Oh, I just… finally had some time for myself.”
“Careful, someone might fall for you.”
“Cut it out. Not Melanie. That’s long gone.”
Billy tilted his head and looked at me like I’d just said the sky was green.
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“Jake, don’t be a fool. She’s here. That means something.”
“She’s here because she wants a signature.”
“Then sign it. Or don’t. But for the love of bacon, talk to her. Ask her to dinner. Do something other than fixing fences and mumbling at your dog.”
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That evening, I found Melanie in the pantry. She was holding my box of documents.
“What are you doing?” I asked, not even raising my voice.
“Looking for tea. But I stumbled on this.”
“You always break into places where you’re not invited?”
“And you always hide what matters instead of talking about it?”
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“I wasn’t hiding. I was postponing. It wasn’t time yet.”
“Not time?! I’m getting married, Jake! Married! To a real, present, grown man!”
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sure he will be thrilled to hear his bride was digging through her legal husband’s pantry.”
“You just can’t accept that I left! That I changed! You hold on to the past like an old jacket that hasn’t fit in years!”
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“And you hold on to some fantasy version of yourself until you have to look yourself in the eye. Have you ever actually thought about what you did? I can’t believe the Melanie I loved could sleep at night after running away like that!”
“Oh, I slept just fine! I didn’t have to crawl under three blankets because someone never fixed the windows!”
“You never said anything bothered you! Not once!”
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“Oh, maybe because it was obvious?! You never asked what I wanted! I wanted more! A career! The city lights!”
“You could’ve told me. We could’ve sold this place and moved to New York together.”
“Oh yeah? And what about the money you poured into building this farm the day before the wedding? You think I didn’t see the contract? That was the final straw, Jake! You said nothing.”
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“And you did? You said nothing, either! About your dreams, about the windows!”
“I’ve had enough! No wonder I ran. I haven’t even been able to answer my fiancé for two days because there’s no signal here!”
“Oh. You probably connected to the broken router. I have two — forgot to mention.”
“You! How dare you!”
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She slammed the pantry door. The house went black — total darkness.
“What was that?” I frowned.
“I… may have knocked that old switch.”
“That ‘old switch’ was the main breaker. It’s broken now. Congratulations, Mel, we’re in the dark.”
“Wonderful! Magical!” she shouted. “No light, no water, no reason to live!”
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“Let’s not overreact,” I muttered, grabbing a flashlight.
I headed outside and built a fire. Melanie sat on the bench, wrapped in my old flannel shirt. No makeup. Hair hastily tied up. For the first time in days, she looked real.
“You hungry?” I asked, skewering some chicken.
“Starving. But if you offer me canned beans, I’ll run to the nearest motel.”
“Barbecue. Real fire. Your dad’s old recipe, actually.”
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She gave a slight nod.
“Mel…” I started but didn’t finish.
“Don’t. I don’t even know what to think. But it’s… peaceful here. Cozy, even. You’ve turned this place into something magical. I miss that in New York.”
“It’s not too late to stay. I always knew your soul was too wild and free for a city apartment, even if it’s a big one.”
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I chuckled. “Yeah… I only realized that after I got everything I ever wanted.”
“Well, there are plenty of forests and fields out here to calm the rebel in you.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I ran because I was scared I’d stay here forever. That my dreams would die under diapers, early mornings, and a farm you decided to build.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I wasn’t going to make you a prisoner. I wanted to make you happy.”
We sat in silence. The fire crackled.
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Then, Melanie suddenly laughed.
“Remember when I burned your favorite sweater?”
“It was hideous.”
“But warm!” she giggled. “And it smelled like you.”
“Melanie… All these years, I couldn’t understand… why? We were so in love. I still…”
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Suddenly, headlights lit up the yard.
“You expecting someone?” I asked.
Melanie’s face went pale.
“No… No, it can’t be…”
Out stepped a tall man in a coat. Phone pressed to his ear. Slicked-back hair, judgmental stare. New York in human form.
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“Melanie! Finally, I found you!” he shouted. “What are you doing here with this…!”
Melanie opened her mouth to answer, but he cut her off.
“You’ve got meetings this week. My assistant’s been trying to reach you. And my mother’s freaking out about the seating chart.”
“This…?” I raised an eyebrow. “This is her legal husband. For now.”
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He looked from me to her.
“What is this?! Some kind of joke?!”
“Oh. Sorry,” I said dryly. “Thought you knew.”
“Melanie! Pack your things. We’re leaving. We have a wedding to plan. Did you forget?”
Melanie stood frozen. Speechless.
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I calmly took a piece of grilled meat from the skewer, bit into it, and added,
“No rush, Mel. You’re hungry — eat first. And, sir… have a seat. Help yourself. The night’s just getting started.”
***
Packing was fast.
While Melanie was arguing with her fiancé in my yard, I sat quietly in my office, signing the papers. Calmly. Steadily. Only my hand trembled a little. Before she walked out the door, I handed her the documents.
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“Here. It’s all official now.”
She looked down at them. Then at me. Her eyes dropped.
“I’m sorry… I have to go.”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
Her hand was already on the doorknob when I stepped toward her.
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“But just tell me one thing. One simple thing.”
She froze.
“Is this really what you wanted? Are you truly happy?”
Silence.
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“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
And she left. But I already knew the answer.
I sat on the porch with my dog, watching the fire burn down.
Suddenly, I understood… I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. Ten years ago, I let her walk away. This time, I am going to fight. I grabbed my pickup keys and tore off into the night.
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I took the shortcut I’d built over the years — a road that led straight to town and the highway. It turns out it wasn’t built in vain.
Thirty minutes later, I burst into the airport like a madman.
The flight to New York… had already taken off. Too late. She’s gone. Again.
“Jake?”
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I turned around. Melanie stood there. Backpack slung over her shoulder, with tears in her eyes.
“I thought you’d flown…”
“And I thought one time running was enough. Twice would just be stupid.”
“And what stopped you?”
“The dog. I forgot to say goodbye to Johnny,” she said with a tiny grin.
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“The dog?” I laughed. “And here I thought it was my world-famous barbecue.”
“I realized halfway through the airport that I’ve never laughed with him. Not really. We make sense on paper. But we don’t… feel.”
We drove home together. On the way, she fell asleep leaning on my shoulder — like she used to back in college. On the porch, she pulled the divorce papers from her bag.
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She tore them in half. Then again. And again.
“Divorce officially canceled. But only if you promise never to wear sweaters in that color again. And help me move my stuff.”
“Man’s honor.”
The dog growled softly. And we walked inside. It was warm there. And quiet. And no one was in a rush to leave ever again.
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