During a guest appearance on HBO’s Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, the 80-year-old Copacabana singer said he didn’t think it was important to announce his sexuality during the earlier decades of his career.
Manilow came out in 2017, almost three years after he married his husband and manager Garry Kief in a private ceremony. The couple have been together for 45 years now, though they’ve kept much of their relationship away from the public eye.
When he came out to People magazine in 2017, Manilow — whose real name is Barry Pincus — worried he’d be “disappointing” some of his fans by revealing his sexuality. Instead, Manilow, who was 73 at the time, said the reaction from his fanbase was “beautiful.”
Despite his current feelings of nonchalance about his own coming out, Manilow said announcing his sexuality as his career was booming would have been a bad idea.
“Now being gay is no big deal,” he explained. “Back in the ’70s it would have killed a career.”
Regardless, the usually very private Manilow said he thinks “everybody knew that Garry and I were a couple all those years.”
“Really, Garry and I’ve been together for so long,” he said. “It just never dawned on me that we’re going to come out. But when we got married, it was a big deal, so we did.”
Manilow credited Kief for saving his life. He said he is thankful he had Kief to support him as his music career was taking off, despite keeping their relationship under wraps.
“As my career exploded, it was just crazy. And, you know, going back to an empty hotel room, you can get into a lot of trouble if you’re alone night after night after night,” Manilow explained. “But I met Garry right around when it was exploding. And I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms. I had somebody to cry with or to celebrate with.”
Manilow said he did not wish an isolated hotel room for any young people.
“It was pretty lonely until I met Garry. And then it was fun,” he smiled.
Kief is not Manilow’s first spouse. In 1964, Manilow married his high school sweetheart, Susan Deixler. They were married for one year.
Manilow told CNN’s Wallace he “really did love” Deixler, but added “the gay thing was pretty, pretty strong. I couldn’t deny it.”
The singer said he knew he was gay before marrying Deixler, but their marriage ended because Manilow couldn’t be the committed husband his then-wife needed. He revealed that his sexuality was not the reason his marriage failed.
“We had a very nice marriage, it was great, but I was away every night making music, as a young musician would be,” Manilow described. “It wasn’t good for me, and it wasn’t good for her.”
“I couldn’t be the proper husband,” he continued. “I was out making music every night, sowing my wild oats. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
Brooklyn-born Manilow skyrocketed to international fame in 1974 after his release of the ever-popular pop-rock ballad Mandy. He became one of the biggest-selling musicians of all time. Prior to his success as a singer-songwriter, Manilow was behind a number of famous commercial jingles for brands like State Farm and Band-Aid — a gig that he has said helped him create catchy hooks for his own hit songs.
My Husband Kept a Christmas Gift from His First Love Unopened for 30 Years—Last Christmas, I Couldn’t Take It Anymore and Opened It
I ignored the little box under our Christmas tree for years. My husband said it was just a memory from his first love, but memories don’t haunt you like that. Last Christmas, something inside me snapped. I opened the gift and found a secret that changed everything.
I met Tyler when I was 32 and he was 35. It sounds cliché, but it felt like fate. Our connection was fast and electric, like when you step outside just as the first snowfall starts. Everything was magic, glittering, and impossibly perfect.
A couple walking in the snow | Source: Midjourney
He made me laugh with his dry humor, and I admired his quiet confidence. He was never brash and never postured. Tyler was just steady and certain, a safe harbor in a storm.
At least, that’s what I thought. I later realized his calm demeanor wasn’t confidence; it was cowardice.
Our first Christmas together was everything I’d dreamed of. Candles flickered, soft music played, and snow dusted the windows. We took turns unwrapping gifts, leaving ribbons and bows scattered across the floor. Then I saw it.
A woman sitting in a living room on Christmas | Source: Midjourney
One gift remained under the Christmas tree: a small, neatly wrapped box with a slightly flattened bow.
“Oh?” I said, tilting my head toward it. “Is that also for me?”
Tyler glanced up from the sweater I’d just given him and shook his head. “Nah, that’s… that’s something from my first love. She gave it to me before we broke up.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “Each year, I place it under the tree, though I’ve never opened it.”
A man sitting on a sofa | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. “What?”
He didn’t even look up. Just folded the sweater over his lap. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just a memory of someone who once meant a lot to me.”
I felt a prickle at the back of my neck. “Why didn’t you open it?”
“We broke up soon afterward, and I didn’t feel like opening it,” he said, and that was that.
The moment passed, or at least he thought it did.
A happy man sitting in a living room on Christmas | Source: Midjourney
But I remember sitting there, my smile feeling too tight on my face. A little red flag waved somewhere in the distance of my mind, but I told myself it was fine. People hold on to weird things. Old love letters. Ticket stubs. Nobody’s perfect, right?
The years rolled on, and we built a life together. Tyler and I got married and bought a little starter home. We had two kids together who filled the rooms with shrieks of joy and toddler tears.
We were happy. Or busy, which sometimes feels the same. Christmases came and went like clockwork.
A Christmas tree in a living room | Source: Pexels
I’d put up the tree while Tyler wrangled the lights. The kids would argue over which ornaments went where, and every year, without fail, that little box appeared under the tree.
I asked him about it again around year seven of our marriage.
“Why do you still have that old gift?” I’d said, dusting pine needles off the floor. “You’ve had it longer than you’ve had me.”
He looked up from untangling the lights, brow furrowed like I’d just asked him to solve world peace.
A man untangling Christmas lights in his living room | Source: Midjourney
“It’s just a box, Nicole. It’s not hurting anyone. Leave it be.”
I could’ve argued. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Back then, I still believed that peace was more important than answers. I still believed in us.
Time slipped through our fingers. Christmases came and went. The kids grew up and left for college. They called less and less and skipped spending holidays with the folks more often.
The house was quieter than I expected. It’s funny how you never realize how much noise you’ll miss.
A mature woman decorating a Christmas tree alone | Source: Midjourney
But that box? It never missed a year.
Every December, I’d watch it appear like a ghost. Tyler would place it in a spot where it was out of the way, but still clearly visible. It still had the same stupid paper, as smooth as the day his first love wrapped it.
I didn’t say anything anymore. I’d just see it, feel my chest tighten, and keep moving. But something had shifted.
A mature woman standing near a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
The box wasn’t just a box anymore. It was everything we never said to each other. It was his silence on the nights I lay awake, wondering if he’d ever loved me as much as her.
One night, after putting away dinner leftovers, I stood in the kitchen, hands on my hips, staring at the ceiling like it owed me an answer.
Tyler still hadn’t washed the dishes like he’d said he would, and hadn’t taken the trash out either. Instead, he was upstairs, tapping away on his laptop while I held everything together, like always.
A solemn-looking woman standing in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
I’d committed years of my life to this man and our family, and I was tired of always having to fight with him and remind him about chores. I looked around our kitchen and my heart ached for something I couldn’t name.
I sighed, dried my hands on a dishrag, and made my way to the living room.
The Christmas tree lights twinkled softly, casting everything in a warm, golden glow. It should’ve been peaceful. But then I saw that darn box.
Gifts under a Christmas tree | Source: Pexels
It was sitting there, smug, untouched. Still unopened after all these years.
Something deep and sharp unfurled in my chest. I could’ve walked away. I should’ve, but I’d walked away too many times already.
I grabbed it off the floor, and before I could think, I tore it open. Paper shredded in my hands and that stupid, flattened bow fell to the floor. My breath came short and fast as I tore open the thin cardboard and revealed the gift from Tyler’s first love.
A woman opening a Christmas gift | Source: Pexels
Inside was a letter, neatly folded, aged to a soft yellow. I froze.
This was the thing he’d guarded for thirty years. My heart drummed in my ears as I unfolded the page, fingers trembling.
My stomach dropped as I read the first sentence. I stumbled backward and sat down hard on the sofa as my knees went weak.
A woman sitting on a sofa while reading a letter | Source: Midjourney
“Tyler, I’m pregnant. I know this is a shock, but I didn’t know where else to turn. My parents found out and they’re forcing me to stay away from you, but if you meet me at the bus station on the 22nd, we can run away together. I’ll be wearing a green coat.
Please, meet me there, Tyler. I’m so sorry I lied that day I broke up with you. My father was watching from the car. I never stopped loving you.”
I pressed my fist to my mouth to keep from making a sound.
A shocked woman reading a letter | Source: Midjourney
She’d been there. She’d waited for him. And he never showed. But worse than that — he’d never even opened the letter. He had no idea…
I heard Tyler’s footsteps coming down the stairs. I didn’t even try to hide what I’d done.
When he saw me holding the letter, his face went pale.
“What did you do?!” His voice was sharp, slicing through the air like glass. “That was my most precious memory!”
I rose and turned to him slowly, feeling something inside me crack wide open.
A shocked man standing in a living room decorated for Christmas | Source: Midjourney
“Memory?” I held up the letter like a battle flag. “You mean this? This letter you never even opened? You’re telling me you clung to this ‘memory’ for thirty years and didn’t even have the courage to see what it was?”
He blinked, stepping back like I’d hit him.
“I didn’t…” He stopped and swiped a hand down his face. “I was scared, okay?”
“Coward,” I hissed, thrusting the letter at him like it was a sword.
A furious woman holding a letter | Source: Midjourney
His eyes widened. We stood there like that for what felt like forever, but then he took the page in his hands, and read the letter.
My eyes didn’t even sting with tears as I watched him gasp with shock and sit down on the arm of the sofa. I was too tired for that now.
Emotions flickered across his face, and at one point, he let out a low moan. He seemed to reread her words at least three times before he dropped his head into his hands.
A man sitting with his head in his hands | Source: Midjourney
“She… she was waiting, and I didn’t show up.” His shoulders shook and his voice was thick with emotion.
Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. He cried like a man mourning his own grave. But I didn’t feel sorry for him. I’d been waiting too.
“Tyler,” I said, my voice calm like a still lake after a storm. “I’m tired. Tired of being second to a ghost.” I felt my heart settle into something steady. “We’re done.”
He didn’t chase me as I left the room.
An angry woman glancing over her shoulder | Source: Midjourney
The divorce was quiet. Neither of us had the energy to make it messy. We split the house, the cars, and the rest of our lives.
He tracked her down. I found out from our youngest. She was happily married and their son wasn’t interested in meeting Tyler or his half-siblings. He’d missed his chance. Twice.
And me? I got my own place. On Christmas Eve, I sat by the window, watching the soft glow of lights from the neighboring apartments.
A content woman sitting near a window | Source: Midjourney
There was no tree this year, no boxes, and no ghosts. Just peace.
Here’s another story: When Madison’s husband, Larry, surprises her with a handmade advent calendar, she’s touched — until day one reveals a “gift” that’s really a chore. Each day, it gets worse, but by day 15, Madison’s patience snaps, and she hatches a plan to teach him a lesson.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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