According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Internet Erupts as Dad Defends Kissing Son on the Lips!
Tom from England loves showing affection to his young son, Roman. However, when their sweet moments were shared on social media, not everyone was happy.
Some people criticized Tom for kissing his five-year-old son on the lips, accusing him of confusing his child. But Tom, from northern England, isn’t backing down. He’s using humor and simple logic to fight back against the trolls. Roman supports his dad, telling the critics, “You are all crazy!”
The bond between a parent and child is special and helps shape the child’s morals, principles, and personality. Every parent has their own way of raising their children, influenced by factors like culture, socioeconomic status, health, or personal preference.
Tom, from Yorkshire, England, is a loving father of two. He doesn’t let the negative comments from trolls affect his parenting style. He often posts videos on TikTok and gets a lot of attention from women who admire his blue eyes, accent, fit and tattooed body, and most importantly, his love for his sons, 5-year-old Roman and Raphael Reign, who was born in mid-May 2023.
A lot of Tom’s videos on TikTok show him addressing accusations that he’s confusing Roman and putting him in danger of strangers or infections.
But Tom won’t give up.
On June 27, a user told Tom, “Just gorgeous both but don’t kiss him on the lips.” Tom responded by saying he would continue showing his five-year-old son love as long as Roman allowed it. Tom said, “I find it worrying that it bothers you. I will kiss my son, my five-year-old child, on the lips for as long as I deem necessary and as long as he lets me, right, because I love him to bits and he’s my best pal. One day he won’t want me to, and he probably won’t want much to do with me. So, for now, I’ll carry on as I am.”
Fans shared supportive comments like, “Love kisses with my kids and now my granddaughter–the people who think it’s wrong are the worry xx.” Another person, who lost her father, said: “Absolutely ridiculous! I always kissed my dad on the lips, and I lost him 2 years ago. I wish I could cuddle him and kiss him again.”
Tom replied to the kind comments, saying, “He is the most loving little boy, and it’s because we raise him with love. Thank you for these comments.”
However, one user’s outrageous accusation got a quick response from Tom. The person wrote, “Shouldn’t kiss him because of the bacteria in your mouth. Did you know you can make your child more susceptible to cavities if you have them and kiss them?”\
In a popular post with almost 123,000 likes, Tom shared a witty message: “Wow. So if I kiss my 5-year-old son on the lips, he’ll get cavities. He’ll get cavities from his daddy kissing him.” Tom then asked Roman what he thought. Giggling, Roman replied, “Don’t be silly!” and kissed his dad on the lips.
Fans had a lot to say about the unfounded claim that Tom kissing Roman could cause cavities. One person wrote, “Omg …who educated that person…you kiss away, you two,” while another added, “That is soooo ridiculous…and I work with a dentist. Carry on being the loving dad you are… your son is so cute.”
In early July, Tom posted a viral video of him and Roman sitting in a car, with nearly 579,000 likes. In the video, Tom said, “Don’t worry. Absolutely nothing’s going to change.” He then turned to his son and asked, “Roman, what do you think of people who say you shouldn’t kiss me on the lips?”
Roman responded emphatically, “You are all crazy. That’s my daddy!” The video ended with the pair sharing a sweet kiss.
Fans jumped in defending the cause of his post, and supporting the father, one writes, “Some people are just sick he is adorable and would soon tell ya when he gets older if he didn’t like it.” Another writes, “we kiss on the cheeks in my culture, but i really love that father-son relationship.”
One user chimed in and speaking to the Yorkshire father’s trolls, she asked “have you a problem with him kissing him on the lips because he is a man? Because if this was his mom, I’m sure you wouldn’t.”
Responding to the comment and thanking the woman for highlighting the issue, Tom said, “I’ve genuinely been curious about this because it’s something I’ve thought about too. I don’t think anyone would say anything if it was a mom kissing her little boy. For some reason, when it’s a dad kissing his son, people always have something to say, and I don’t understand why—it’s always this weird minority.” He added, “I’m glad a woman brought this up, so I really appreciate that. And I’m not changing anything.”
In another video, Tom looks visibly frustrated as he responds to a comment suggesting that kissing his son could make the boy vulnerable to dangerous strangers. The commenter wrote, “Don’t kiss your children on the lips, fact. Because not all humans have the right intentions. Do you see what I’m saying? Don’t make it acceptable!”
Tom joked in his response, “So the logic here is, if I kiss my five-year-old, he will think that he can go off and it’s okay to kiss strangers, strange adults… obviously!” Holding back his laughter, he continued, “So let’s apply that logic. I can’t have him in my car anymore to take him places because he could get in a stranger’s car and think that’s normal. He can’t live in my house anymore…well he could just walk into a stranger’s house and think that that’s normal.”
Then, the devoted dad suggested a different approach: “Or we could, now hear me out, we could… teach him that he’s got a mummy and a daddy and kissing them is normal but kissing dodgy Barry down the road is a bit weird.”
Most people in his online community support Tom and love seeing the affection he shows his son. They’re happy that Tom doesn’t back down to online trolls who have no right to tell him how to parent.
What do you think about dads kissing their children on the lips? Do you think it’s okay for moms to do the same?
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