Grappling with his son’s suicide, Michael Madsen still hopes to find answers

Actor Michael Madsen of Reservoir Dogs received a final text from his child that said, “I love you dad,” and nothing more.

According to his father, 26-year-old Hudson Madsen, a prominent Hollywood actor’s son, shot himself in the head after completing his first tour as a U.S. Army Sergeant stationed in Hawaii.

Star of the Kill Bill franchise Madsen told the LA Times, “I am in shock as my son, whom I just spoke with a few days ago, said he was happy-my last text from him was ‘I love you dad.’”

“I saw no indications of depression. It is so terrible and tragic. He went on, “I’m just trying to make sense of it and comprehend what happened.

Hudson, the oldest child of Madsen and his wife DeAnna Madsen, had Quentin Tarantino as his godfather. The next oldest kids were brothers Luke and Kalvin. Madsen has two more boys, Christian and Max, with his former spouse Jeannine Bisignano.


In 2019, he wed Carlie, who posted encouraging remarks about their love on social media. Carlie’s social media accounts reveal that the couple, unable to conceive naturally, was thinking about doing IVF.

Just one week before he died on January 22, 2022, Carlie posted a selfie of herself wearing a hospital gown to Instagram, captioning it with the news that she had recently had a tumor removed.

She continues in the post, “I just want to give a shout-out to my amazing husband!” Throughout the entire process, he has shown a great deal of patience. I had surgery on one of my breasts yesterday to remove a tumor. Carlie went on, “We spent approximately seven hours at the hospital yesterday. He went to Target and purchased me a card, flowers, cozy pajamas, and my favorite candy while I was in surgery! He has also been tremendous in aiding with my recuperation, and I am incredibly appreciative.

A few weeks later, she posted a sweet photo of herself and Hudson to Twitter with the straightforward message, “I miss you so much.” The circumstances surrounding Hudson’s suicide baffled everyone.

According to Madsen, the 64-year-old father expressed his distress about his suicide by saying, “He had typical life challenges that people have with finances, but he wanted a family.” This is mind-blowing, since he was thinking about his future. I just don’t know what went wrong.

The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor Madsen also revealed that, despite his outward contentment, his son—who had served in Afghanistan—was struggling with mental health concerns. The actor claimed that because his son was keeping his difficulties to himself, he stopped getting counseling when he needed it.

Madsen felt “that officers and rank and file were shaming,” so he asked the military to look into it. However, the investigation’s findings are still under wraps.

Known for his work on Quentin Tarantino’s gory comedies, Madsen was arrested in Malibu at the mansion he had just been evicted from, one month after Hudson committed herself. Madsen was charged with trespassing and was given bail.

The actor has a past criminal history; TMZ reports that he was charged with child endangerment in 2012 and with DUI in 2019 following an SUV accident.

When the actor entered his house and saw that his teenage son was using marijuana, the two got into a fight.According to TMZ, Madsen and his young son got into a violent altercation, and when the police arrived, they saw multiple injuries on the boy. According to reports, Madsen looked to be intoxicated when he was taken into custody. Madsen’s name was disclosed, but not that of the son.

After Hudson passed away, the family released a statement in which they said, “We are crushed and overwhelmed with grief and pain at the loss of Hudson.” His memory and light will live on in the hearts of all those who were acquainted with and loved him.

Carlie posts a poignant homage to her spouse, whom she affectionately refers to as “Lump,” on Instagram on January 23, 2023.I have no idea how a year has passed without you. The pain is still exactly the same as it was that day. Every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep, my thoughts always turn to you. How much I miss you and how much I hurt is beyond words.

“I simply wish you would have spoken with me and told me what was going on that day,” she said. I apologize if you believed that there was no other way to turn things around. I apologize for not seeing the symptoms and for not being able to do more. Regretfully, I let you down. Please know that you are never far from my thoughts or side. Lump, I love you more and I miss you a lot.

Hudson Madsen passed away tragically, leaving behind a husband, best friend, son, and hero. If someone needs to hear it, this is the perfect opportunity to let them know how much you care.

There is always help available, and don’t forget that if you want to talk to someone anonymously, you can call the Suicide Hotline in the United States and Canada at 9-8-8.

Four Years after My Husband Went Missing, a Dog Brought Me the Jacket He Was Wearing on the Day He Disappeared

Four years after Maggie’s husband vanished during a solo hike, she had come to terms with his loss. But when their old family dog reappeared, carrying her husband’s jacket in its mouth, Maggie followed it into the forest, uncovering a truth she never could have imagined.

I still remember the day Jason left four years ago. He had been depressed for a couple of months then, and it was the first time in a long while I’d seen him so excited, restless.

A man packing for a hike | Source: Freepik

A man packing for a hike | Source: Freepik

He said he needed some time in nature, alone. “Just me and Scout,” he said, scratching the dog’s ears as our kids laughed.

“Are you sure you don’t want company?” I asked, holding our then-toddler son, Benny, while my four-year-old, Emily, clung to my leg.

Jason just smiled and shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be back before you know it. Promise.”

A man talking to his wife | Source: Pexels

A man talking to his wife | Source: Pexels

But he never came back.

At first, I thought he’d gotten lost. Maybe hurt. The search teams kept trying to find him. Our friends, our neighbors, all showed up to help, calling his name, searching the mountains. It felt surreal, like a bad dream I couldn’t wake up from.

But days turned to weeks, and the search teams started looking at me with pity, as if they’d already made up their minds.

A search party | Source: Pexels

A search party | Source: Pexels

Eventually, they said, “We’ve done all we can.”

People started saying things like, “You’re strong, Maggie,” and “You’ll be okay.” But every word felt hollow. Jason wasn’t just missing; he was gone. After months, they declared him legally dead. I hated those words, but what could I do? Life had to go on.

A sad woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

A sad woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

Over the years, little things kept Jason alive in our home: his old hiking boots by the door, his coffee mug with a chip on the rim, the wool scarf he loved. The kids sometimes asked about him, and I would tell them stories, trying to keep his memory alive.

Sometimes, late at night, when the house was silent, I let myself remember. I wondered if I could’ve done something different that day, maybe convinced him to stay.

A sleepless woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

A sleepless woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

Then, one afternoon, everything changed.

It was a quiet Saturday, sunny with a light breeze. I was lying on a blanket in the backyard, watching the kids play, feeling a rare sense of peace.

Out of nowhere, something rustled near the bushes. I squinted, thinking it was a squirrel or maybe one of the neighbors’ cats. But then I saw a dog, thin and scruffy, walking slowly toward me.

A dog in the bushes | Source: Pexels

A dog in the bushes | Source: Pexels

At first, I didn’t recognize him. But when I looked closer, my heart skipped. “Scout?” I whispered, hardly believing it. He was older, thinner, his coat dirty and matted, but it was him.

“Scout!” I called louder, sitting up, barely breathing. The dog stopped, looking at me with tired eyes. In his mouth, he held a green jacket, frayed and faded.

A black dog in the bushes | Source: Midjourney

A black dog in the bushes | Source: Midjourney

I knew it instantly. I’d washed it a hundred times, seen him wear it on so many hikes. I couldn’t believe it. I felt my whole body tense, frozen between shock and hope.

“Scout, where did you come from?” I whispered, inching toward him. But as soon as I reached out, Scout turned and started trotting away, disappearing into the trees.

“No—Scout, wait!” I called, but he didn’t stop. Something inside me said to follow, even if I didn’t know where he was leading me.

A woman chasing after the dog | Source: Midjourney

A woman chasing after the dog | Source: Midjourney

“Kids, stay here! Don’t move!” I grabbed my phone and car keys, my hands shaking. “Mommy’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Emily looked up, concerned. “Where are you going, Mom?”

“I… I just have to check something, honey,” I managed to say, my voice barely steady. She nodded, her wide eyes watching me as I took off after the dog.

A shocked girl | Source: Midjourney

A shocked girl | Source: Midjourney

Scout kept a steady pace, leading me through the edge of our neighborhood and into the forest. I struggled to keep up, ducking under branches, slipping on damp leaves. My heart pounded as I ran, a mix of hope, fear, and disbelief fueling me.

“Scout, slow down!” I called, but he stayed just ahead, leading me deeper and deeper into the forest.

Scout paused briefly, looking back to make sure I was still there. His eyes seemed to say, Keep going.

A black dog | Source: Midjourney

A black dog | Source: Midjourney

I couldn’t tell you how long I’d been walking. My legs ached, every step heavier than the last, and the forest seemed endless, twisting around me as if it wanted me lost. Scout kept looking back, urging me on, like he was as desperate as I was.

And then, just as the light started to fade, I saw it.

A shocked woman in the woods | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman in the woods | Source: Midjourney

The cabin sat low and quiet, blending right into the thick of the woods. It was so tucked away you’d miss it if you didn’t know where to look. Smoke drifted faintly from an outdoor fire pit, and a makeshift clothesline was strung between two trees. There were footprints in the mud outside. There was someone here.

“Jason?” I whispered, my voice almost too small to carry. My heart was pounding, my mouth dry. This couldn’t be real.

A small shack in the woods | Source: Freepik

A small shack in the woods | Source: Freepik

With my breath catching, I walked up to the window. And there, inside, moving around like he’d never left, was Jason.

He looked… different. His hair was long and messy, a rough beard covering half his face. He looked wild, like he’d lived outside for months. And he wasn’t alone.

A man by a fire pit | Source: Midjourney

A man by a fire pit | Source: Midjourney

A woman was there with him, standing close, her hand brushing against his arm. Her hair was tangled, and her clothes looked patched and worn. She stood like she belonged there, like this was her home. Like he was her home.

My hand flew to my mouth as I stifled a gasp. My mind raced, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. No. No, this isn’t real. But every second I stood there, staring into that dirty window, the truth sank deeper.

A woman in front of a shack in the woods | Source: Midjourney

A woman in front of a shack in the woods | Source: Midjourney

I pushed the door open, feeling a strength I didn’t know I had. It creaked loudly, and they both turned toward me, their eyes widening in surprise. Jason’s mouth fell open, his eyes darting over me like I was a ghost.

“Maggie…” he breathed, his voice calm, too calm, like he’d been expecting me.

“Jason.” My voice wavered, but I held his gaze. I glanced at the woman, then back at him. “What is this?” My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. “Where have you been?”

A shocked man in the woods | Source: Midjourney

A shocked man in the woods | Source: Midjourney

He glanced at the woman beside him, who just stood there, looking at me like I was the one out of place. “I was…trapped, Maggie. That life wasn’t me. Out here, I’m free. I can breathe. I’ve found something real, something I couldn’t have…back there.” He gestured vaguely to the woods, as if that was his new life.

I stared at him, barely able to comprehend it. “You left us,” I said, feeling my voice crack. “You left your kids, Jason. They think you’re dead. I thought you were dead.”

An angry woman | Source: Freepik

An angry woman | Source: Freepik

He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “I…I know it’s hard to hear. But I’ve become one with nature now. Sarah and I…we’ve built a life. A simple, meaningful life.” His words sounded empty, robotic, like he’d convinced himself of this story so many times he believed it.

I took a step back, feeling the anger boil over. “So that’s it? You just walk away from everything? From your family? You didn’t even try to let us know you were okay?”

A man arguing with his wife | Source: Midjourney

A man arguing with his wife | Source: Midjourney

He closed his eyes, sighing deeply, like I was the one causing him pain. “Maggie, you wouldn’t understand. That life felt like a prison. Now, I’m living it to the fullest.”

“A prison?” I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper. “Is that what we were to you?”

“Maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with your cursed technology, you could come worship nature like we did,” Sarah hissed, looking at me like I was a lunatic.

A woman with a blank face | Source: Pexels

A woman with a blank face | Source: Pexels

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