There are so many things in the world that we may admire or even get inspired by, but there’s one main thing we may want to fall in love with before we start noticing the beauty of other things. It’s our own reflection in the mirror. Among all the numerous recipes for conjuring up self-love within ourselves, psychologists advise us to never compare ourselves to others and stop caring about other people’s opinions. Actress and producer Lena Dunham knows a lot about cultivating love for her own body despite all the criticism she faced, and she happily shares her journey with us all.
Lena Dunham doesn’t accept the term “body positivity,” and here’s why.
Actress and writer Lena Dunham has recently added another string to her bow and collaborated with the brand 11 Honoré to create a plus-size clothing collection. But the very term “plus size” frustrates Lena, and so is the term “body positivity.” In one of her Instagram posts, she explains that she feels more “body tolerant” than “body positive.”
In her interview, Dunham said, “The thing that’s complicated about the body-positive movement is it can be for the privileged few who have a body that looks the way people want to feel positive. We want curvy bodies that look like Kim Kardashian has been up-sized slightly. We want big beautiful butts and big beautiful breasts and no cellulite and faces that look like you could smack them onto thin women.”
Dunham has a very special relationship with her own body.
Dunhams path to self-love started with a decade-long journey with endometriosis. Since she started her own fight against it, she has been candidly sharing how it influenced both her emotional health and her relationship with her own body image. In her Instagram post, she emotionally described how she fluctuated between loving her body and the opposite.
She wrote, “Ya know when you’re home alone, and you realize you’d be happier in a hot lil’ onesie than your ketchup and cat food stained pajamas? And it’s not about a boy or a photo shoot or a weight loss before-and-after, it’s just for the feeling of glee you get from dressing your one and only corporeal form in pleasing fabrics, the unique pleasure of admiring the twists and turns of the body that loves the heck out of you even when you don’t love it.”
Dunham is powerfully addressing all people who come to her page with criticism.
In 2021, Dunham tied the knot with musician Luis Felber. It was such a darling event for her that she wore 3 wedding dresses to marry her love and shared the photos on her Instagram. However, she started getting some “gnarly” comments in her feed from people who commented on her body and appearance. The actress didn’t hesitate for a minute to address them with a powerful message.
She wrote, “One narrative I take issue with, largely because it’s a story I don’t want other women, other people, to get lodged in their heads, is that I should somehow be criticized because my body has changed since I was last on television. […] But lastly, when will we learn to stop equating thinness with health/happiness?”
Dunham’s powerful message can be echoed in the hearts of many.
For all people who have ever hesitated about embracing their body image, Dunham has some simple yet wise advice. She says, “Of course weight loss can be the result of positive change in habits, but guess what? So can weight gain. The pics I’m being compared to are from when I was with an undiagnosed illness. In the last 4 years, I’ve begun my life as someone who aspires toward health and not just achievement.
These changes have allowed me to be the kind of sister/friend/daughter that I want to be and yes — meet my husband (who, by the way, doesn’t recognize me in those old photos because he sees how dimmed my light was). I say this for any other person whose appearance has been changed with time, illness, or circumstance — it’s okay to live in your present body without treating it as transitional. I am, and I’m really enjoying it. Love you all.”
Do you find Lena Dunham’s example inspiring? What do you love the most about your appearance?
Preview photo credit Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images, lenadunham / Instagram
My Fiancée Wore a Black Dress to Our Wedding – When I Found Out Her Reason, My Life Was Never the Same
Standing at the altar, Nathan eagerly waited for his fiancée, Jane, to walk down the aisle in the stunning white gown they had picked out together. But he was horrified when she appeared in a long black dress and revealed why she didn’t wear her wedding gown.
My wedding day was supposed to be one of the best days of my life, but what happened that day left a painful scar on my mind. I never thought things would turn out to be this way.
A man on his wedding day | Source: Midjourney
I met Jane through a mutual friend, and after a few dates, we became inseparable. She was the bubbly extrovert, always surrounded by friends, while I was the quiet, introverted type who avoided crowds.
But with her, things were different.
I always wanted to be around her because she made me feel loved in ways I never knew existed. She appreciated my company and never once made me think I was not worthy of her love.
A couple standing together | Source: Pexels
A few months into our relationship, I proposed. I was sure Jane was the one, and she said yes without hesitation, beaming at the ring I had picked out.
“I can’t believe you said yes,” I told her one day. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, Jane.”
Honestly, I didn’t think I deserved someone as amazing as her.
A couple sitting together | Source: Pexels
Our relationship got even stronger as days turned into weeks, and soon, we decided to tie the knot.
Our families met, and everything went smoothly. We planned a small ceremony for the summer, where we would exchange vows surrounded by our closest family and friends.
It all seemed perfect, but fate had other plans.
A couple holding hands | Source: Midjourney
On our wedding day, I wore a tailored black suit and stood at the altar, eagerly waiting for Jane to walk down the aisle. I expected to see her in the beautiful white gown we’d chosen together just weeks before.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she appeared in a long black dress with a matching veil. The kind of outfit you’d expect at a funeral.
Why was she doing this? I thought. What was wrong with her?
A woman wearing a black dress on her wedding | Source: Midjourney
I could see her eyes burning with rage as she walked towards me. Meanwhile, the guests stared at her with eyes wide open.
Once she reached the altar, I gently took her hands and whispered, “Why are you wearing black? What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you after the ceremony,” she said, looking straight into my eyes. No expressions, just a blank face looking at me like I had committed the biggest sin of all time.
“Wait!” I announced while holding up my hand.
A man looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
The church went dead silent.
“Tell me. Tell me why you’re wearing black. Now,” I demanded, unaware that her next words would shatter my world.
“It’s all because of your mother,” Jane revealed. “She told me everything.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
That’s when I saw Jane’s eyes fill up with tears.
An upset woman on her wedding day | Source: Midjourney
“She told me about you and Lauren,” Jane began as her voice trembled. “Your best friend.”
“What? What did my mom say about Lauren?” I asked while squinting my eyes. I had no clue what Jane was talking about.
“She said you’ve been cheating on me with Lauren,” Jane announced, and a collective gasp rippled through the guests. “She said you two were having an affair and that you planned to leave me for her. That’s why I’m wearing black. To mourn the love we once had
, Nathan.”
Close-up of a black dress | Source: Pexels
I couldn’t believe what Jane just said.
“This is not true, Jane,” I pleaded. “I swear I never cheated on you. Lauren and I are just friends. I don’t know why my mom would say that.”
I scanned the crowd, desperate to spot my mother, but she was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to confront her, to prove she was lying.
“I don’t believe you,” Jane said firmly. “I know you’re lying because that’s what you’ve always done.”
A woman talking to her fiancé | Source: Midjourney
“Jane, please,” I begged, reaching for her hand, but she pulled away. “Mom never liked you. She’s trying to sabotage us. Please, you have to trust me.”
“Oh, I see. But it’s not just about the affair, Nathan,” Jane shook her head. “I know your secret. I know you’ve been lying to me.”
“What secret?” I asked.
Jane looked around the church before locking eyes with me.
A woman looking at the wedding guests | Source: Midjourney
“You lied about your family’s finances,” she spat. “You hid that your family is bankrupt, and you’re marrying me to use my money to save your business. Isn’t that true?”
Oh, no, I thought.
What Jane said was somewhat true, but I never wanted to reveal my secret like this. Yes, indeed, my family business wasn’t going well, and we were almost bankrupt. And yes, I thought marrying Jane would help, but I wasn’t marrying her for the money!
A man standing at the altar, thinking | Source: Midjourney
I loved her, and that was the main reason I decided to tie the knot with her. I had no idea how to explain this to her.
“Listen, Jane,” I said. “Let me explain, I—”
“Explain what?” she cut me off. “That your mother pressured you to find a wealthy woman to save the family business? She told me everything. I just can’t believe I was so dumb to fall in love with a man like you!”
An upset woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
At that point, I wanted to say so much. I wanted to explain that I wasn’t lying, but somehow, I couldn’t speak a word. I couldn’t say anything.
“It’s over, Nathan,” Jane declared before storming out of the church.
As she walked away, the guests whispered among themselves. Meanwhile, my friends rushed over, but I couldn’t let her go like that. I had to make her understand.
A worried man standing at the altar | Source: Midjourney
“Jane, wait!” I shouted, running after her. “Please, just listen to me.”
“I don’t want to listen to your lies, Nathan,” she said without even turning around.
I walked and stood in front of her, blocking her path.
“I swear I’m not lying to you,” I protested. “I don’t know why Mom said all this to you, but I think that’s because she doesn’t like you. I never told you this but Mom wasn’t really happy with our relationship.”
“And why should I believe you, Nathan?”
Before I could answer, Lauren walked out of the church.
A woman in a pink dress | Source: Pexels
“Jane, listen,” she said. “I don’t know what your mother-in-law told you, but there’s nothing going on between us. Nathan is just a friend, and he loves you a lot. Trust me.”
Jane looked at Lauren, and then me. She wasn’t sure if she could trust us.
“Look, if I wanted to marry you for your money, I would’ve never signed the prenup,” I said, holding Jane’s hands. “I signed it because I wanted to protect your money and your future. I wouldn’t have done that if I had my eyes on your money.”
A man signing a document | Source: Pexels
“But why did you hide your family’s financial situation?” she asked. “What if you’re hiding more? Why should I trust you?”
I slowly shook my head and took a deep breath.
“You’re right, Jane. I should’ve told you about my family’s situation, but I was scared you’d leave me.” I paused, realizing I needed to tell her the rest. “There’s something else I’ve never told you.”
A man talking to his fiancée | Source: Midjourney
Jane folded her arms as she waited for me to speak.
“My mom hates me,” I confessed. “She always has. Years ago, I took a DNA test when I was in college. I found out that my father wasn’t my biological father. When I confronted her, everything fell apart. Dad left us, taking all the money with him.”
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
“That’s why she lied to you,” I continued. “She wanted to ruin my wedding because she can’t stand seeing me happy. I guess she just pretended to accept you and was waiting for the right moment to ruin my relationship. I’m sorry for keeping all this from you. I was embarrassed.”
At that point, I could see that Jane wasn’t angry anymore. She had this look of sympathy on her face like she felt really bad for me.
A woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
“You didn’t tell me because you were embarrassed? She asked. “We were supposed to build a new life together, Nathan. But you were hiding so much from me. Do you think I can trust you after all this?”
I hate to admit this, but I knew Jane was right. I should’ve told her everything from the beginning.
“I’m sorry, Jane,” I said, looking down. “I know I’ve made mistakes, but I love you.”
A man apologizing to his fiancée | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry too, Nathan,” she looked away, wiping tears from her cheek. “I guess this is how it ends. This is how we part ways. I can’t live with someone who keeps secrets.”
And with that, the love of my life, the woman I adored the most, walked away from me.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched her get into her car and drive away from the church. I couldn’t stop her because I knew she was right.
A car driving on a street | Source: Pexels
My life has never been the same since that day. While I confronted my mother and cut all ties with her, I also tried to call Jane a million times, but she never answered any of my calls.
I lost the love of my life because of lies, betrayal, and secrets I never should have kept.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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