According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
The Shocking Reason Kate Middleton Snubbed Lilibet’s Birthday Party!
Princess Lilibet doesn’t know much about her parents’ past. Born in the US after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle moved to Montecito, California, her life has been very different from her father’s. Lilibet celebrated her first birthday in the UK, which led to a lot of gossip.
Her royal aunt and uncle, Prince William and Kate Middleton, along with her cousins, Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis, did not attend her birthday party. The late Queen Elizabeth was there, but she reportedly refused to take a picture with Lilibet.
People quickly noticed that William and Kate were not at Lilibet’s birthday party. Despite the strained relationship between the Waleses and Sussexes, one of Meghan’s friends publicly mocked Kate, refusing to believe this was the reason for their absence.
On June 4, 2021, Harry and Meghan shared the happy news that their daughter, Lilibet, was born. She is their second child after their son, Archie, was born in 2019.
A spokesperson for the couple said, “It is with great joy that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, welcome their daughter, Lilibet ‘Lili’ Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, to the world.”
The Royal Family, including Prince William and Kate Middleton, congratulated Harry and Meghan on Lilibet’s birth. However, the relationship between the two families has since grown colder.
Lilibet was born in the US after her parents had left the Royal Family, allowing her to grow up away from the paparazzi that followed Harry and Meghan. This gave Lilibet a calmer, more private start in life.
Since the Sussexes live in the US, it took some time for Lilibet’s UK family to meet her. Finally, during Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee Celebration in 2022, Lilibet met her great-grandmother. On June 4, 2022, Lilibet celebrated her first birthday at Frogmore Cottage, their UK home at the time.
Meghan and Harry hosted a backyard picnic for their daughter Lilibet’s birthday at Frogmore Cottage. Their friend, Misan Harriman, shared a lovely photo of Lilibet celebrating her big day. This picture is one of the few the public has seen of her.
This picnic was special because it was the first time Lilibet met her great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, and her grandfather, then-Prince Charles. Even though this was an important family moment, no photos were made public. According to The Sun, Queen Elizabeth did not allow Harry and Meghan to have a photographer present during the introduction.
An insider told The Sun, “Harry and Meghan wanted their photographer to capture the moment Lilibet met the Queen, but they were told no chance. It was a private family meeting.”
Royal expert Camilla Tominey mentioned that the Queen didn’t want to take a photo because she had a bloodshot eye and did not want such a photo to be made public. Tominey also said that Harry hoped to get a picture of Lilibet and the Queen sometime in the future.
However, new reports suggest a different reason for the Queen’s decision. Royal expert Phil Dampier said that the Queen didn’t trust Harry and Meghan at the time because they had recently done an interview with Oprah Winfrey. This made her avoid taking a picture with her great-granddaughter.
“Even though the Queen wasn’t in the best health, she was still very sharp,” Dampier told The Sun. “She knew that any photo taken of her with Lilibet could be used in the wrong way. She wasn’t happy that the name Lilibet was chosen without her input and firmly said ‘no photographs’.”
Reports say that only Zara Tindall and Peter Phillips’ children attended the party. Prince William, Princess Kate, and their kids did not attend. There was a lot of tension then, and it hasn’t gotten much better.
Prince William and Kate Middleton said they had other commitments on the day of Lilibet’s birthday party, which is why they couldn’t attend. However, royal expert Christopher Andersen told Us Weekly that William and Kate made “no effort” to introduce their children, George, Charlotte, and Louis, to Lilibet during Harry and Meghan’s UK visit.
After William and Kate declined the invite to Lilibet’s 1st birthday picnic at Frogmore Cottage, one of Meghan’s friends was quite annoyed.
Garcelle Beauvais, a star on the show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, told E! that it was “shady” for William and Kate to skip the party.
“What’s going on is, ‘What a coincidence, we’re out of town; I’m washing my hair.’ There’s a little shade there,” Beauvais told E!.
“They couldn’t delay their flight a few hours to meet Lilibet and Archie?”
Family feuds are never pleasant, and they get even more complicated when children are involved.
The ongoing “battle of the brothers” and Harry and Meghan’s move to the US means Harry hasn’t seen his nephews and niece for quite some time. According to royal biographer Tom Quinn, Harry is very upset about this.
“Harry is very sad not just because he doesn’t have a relationship with George, Charlotte, and Louis, but also because his own children don’t get to know their cousins,” Quinn told the Mirror.
“Harry and Meghan wish they could fix this. They want the cousins to meet regularly and have a good relationship as they grow up, but they don’t see how to do it while they are estranged. Harry has said he hopes the cousins can at least be friends when they are adults.”
On Tuesday, June 4, 2024, Lilibet celebrated her 3rd birthday. Her first birthday was celebrated in the UK. Her second birthday was a big, celebrity-filled party in California, but this year the celebration was low-key.
According to People Magazine, Lilibet’s birthday celebrations started with a “pre-birthday bash.” Over the weekend, Harry, Meghan, and their children had a party at their home in Montecito. The guests were close friends, family, and some of Lilibet’s friends.
Harry and Meghan prefer to keep their children out of the public eye and rarely share information or photos of Archie and Lilibet. Both kids did appear in their Netflix series released in December 2022, where fans noticed that Archie spoke with an American accent.
Recently, Harry and Meghan went on a three-day trip to Nigeria to promote the Invictus Games. While visiting a school in Abuja, Meghan mentioned that Lilibet’s favorite class was “singing and dancing,” likely because she enjoys all the jumping around.
Meghan also shared a sweet moment about her daughter. She told the students that Lilibet, who is about to turn three, once looked at her and said, “Mama, I see me in you.” Meghan explained that while Lilibet meant it literally, she took it to mean something deeper, seeing herself in her daughter and in everyone around her.
Although Harry and Meghan have kept Archie and Lilibet out of the spotlight so far, that might change in the future.
Royal expert Tom Quinn says that Harry and Meghan are thinking about bringing their children with them on future trips abroad.
“Meghan knows how good this will look,” Quinn told the Mirror. “A charming royal couple with their charming children will get the kind of publicity Harry and Meghan want, especially since they are aiming to be successful entrepreneurs.”
Quinn also mentioned, “While Harry and Meghan are becoming more prominent, Kate and William seem to be struggling, and Harry and Meghan are aware of this.”
Do you think Harry and Meghan should keep their children out of the spotlight, or is it a good idea to bring them on future trips? Share this article and let us know your thoughts!
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