Falling in love is a magical experience. It’s filled with excitement, butterflies, and a deep desire to make the best impression on the person we adore. In those early stages, we often tweak our behavior, carefully curating how we present ourselves. Something as simple as avoiding lollipops—fearing it may make us seem childish—symbolizes this phase of self-conscious love.
However, as a relationship matures, especially after marriage, things change. The need to impress fades, and the comfort of unconditional acceptance sets in. That once-hidden love for lollipops (or any quirky habit) resurfaces, representing a return to one’s true self.
Why Do We Hide Our True Selves in the Beginning?
When we first start dating, we unknowingly step into a highlight reel version of ourselves. We filter our habits, polish our words, and refine our actions to seem more attractive. But why?
1. The Desire to Impress
At the start of a relationship, we want to be seen in the best light. Whether it’s dressing perfectly, avoiding certain foods, or hiding silly habits, we make an effort to be someone our partner will admire.
2. Fear of Being Judged
We all have quirks—maybe you love collecting action figures, singing off-key in the shower, or eating candy like a child. But in the early stages, there’s a fear that revealing too much too soon could push the other person away.
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3. Society’s Expectations
Romantic relationships, especially new ones, are often shaped by social norms and expectations. Acting “mature” or “refined” seems like the right thing to do, even if it means suppressing natural instincts like enjoying a simple lollipop.
How Marriage Changes Everything
Marriage is not just about love; it’s about comfort, trust, and deep acceptance. Once you’ve committed to each other for life, the need to impress fades, and true personalities begin to shine.
1. The Comfort of Being Yourself
In a long-term relationship, you stop overthinking every action. You no longer worry if eating candy makes you seem childish, if watching cartoons is immature, or if wearing pajamas all day is unattractive. You embrace your true self because you know your partner loves you for who you are, not for the polished version you once presented.
2. Love Shifts from Attraction to Connection
Attraction may have sparked the relationship, but emotional connection sustains it. What makes a marriage strong is genuine companionship, built on shared experiences and authenticity. That means letting your guard down—whether that’s laughing at silly jokes, dancing like no one’s watching, or, yes, eating that lollipop with pride.
3. Unconditional Acceptance
Real love isn’t about impressing; it’s about accepting. Marriage teaches you that your quirks, habits, and imperfections are what make you unique—and those are often the things your partner grows to love the most.
The Evolution of Love: From Perfection to Authenticity
Every relationship goes through stages of transformation. The love that starts with perfection-seeking gradually matures into comfort-driven authenticity.
Stage 1: The “Best Behavior” Phase
In the beginning, you avoid anything that might make you seem less attractive or mature. You wear your best clothes, avoid messy foods, and pretend you don’t binge-watch cartoons.
Stage 2: The Gradual Unveiling
As you get more comfortable, little pieces of the real you start slipping out. Maybe you start eating lollipops in front of your partner, or you admit to loving cheesy romance novels. You test the waters to see if they still find you charming despite your quirks.
Stage 3: The Marriage Comfort Zone
By the time you’re married, there’s no need for facades. You eat what you want, laugh as loudly as you please, and fully embrace your unique personality. Your partner loves you for all of it—including the quirks you once tried to hide.
What This Teaches Us About True Love
1. You Deserve to Be Loved for Who You Are
If you feel the need to hide parts of yourself to keep someone interested, they may not be the right person for you. The right relationship allows you to be yourself from the start.
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2. Authenticity Leads to Deeper Connections
Love isn’t about pretending to be perfect—it’s about being real, raw, and vulnerable. The more you embrace your true self, the stronger your bond will be.
3. The Best Relationships Feel Like Home
In a lasting love story, your partner becomes your safe space—the person with whom you can be 100% yourself. If eating lollipops brings you joy, they won’t just accept it; they’ll probably buy you a lifetime supply.
Final Thoughts: Love is About Being Yourself
At the start of a relationship, it’s natural to want to impress, but true love is about acceptance, not perfection. The shift from hiding small quirks to embracing them openly is a sign of a healthy, growing relationship.
So, if you ever hesitated to eat a lollipop because you were afraid of being judged—go ahead and unwrap it now. If you’re with the right person, they’ll love watching you enjoy it.
5-Year-Old Boy Survives Vicious Dog Attack, Faces Cruel Bullying Over His Scars
This story is a sobering reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the long road society has to travel toward kindness and acceptance. It is about a little boy who endured a devastating attack by two Rottweilers and survived, only to face cruel judgment from others due to his disfigured appearance.
Ryder Wells was just 21 months old when the unthinkable happened. During Thanksgiving of 2015, Ryder and his mother, Brittany, were visiting family friends. Brittany recounted the horrific incident:
“We were eating breakfast, and Ryder was moving back and forth between his toys and coming back for bacon. Then, he disappeared. I looked out of the window, and he was face down in the garden.”
She continued, “He had pajamas on, but they’d been completely ripped off except for a sleeve. When we picked him up and rolled him over, his face was just gone.
“The dogs had been around him before, and they’d been fine, so I don’t know what happened. The doctors said they would do what they could, but we weren’t expecting him to make it. They told us it’s a miracle he’s still here because he was so small, and the injuries were so severe. They thought the dogs had bitten so far into his skull that he would be paralyzed.”
Ryder’s injuries were catastrophic: he lost his entire right cheek, more than half of his lip, his teeth were crushed, his right lung was punctured, and his arm was broken. He was airlifted to the hospital, where he underwent over 14 hours of surgery. For Brittany, it was an unimaginable ordeal filled with anxiety and uncertainty.
Despite the severity of his injuries, Ryder’s spirit proved unbreakable. He survived the surgeries but was left with a permanently disfigured face. Over the years, he has undergone more than 50 facial reconstruction surgeries, with more to come in the future.
However, Ryder’s battle is not just physical. He faces the harsh reality of societal judgment. Brittany shared:
“He knows people are talking about him, but he doesn’t say much. He wears glasses and a cap and sometimes hangs his head to hide his face. I try to deal with it in a way that doesn’t affect him too much. I tell him every day that he’s beautiful, that different is beautiful, and it’s okay to be different.
“But I’m absolutely terrified about when he goes to school. There are always going to be a few kids who aren’t kind. When he started kindergarten, the kids learned about Ryder before they met him so they wouldn’t be as shocked. You always want your kid to be accepted and to fit in. Just because he’s different doesn’t make him any less of a person.”
Despite the challenges, Ryder has found a supportive community. Brittany expressed gratitude for the kindness they’ve encountered:
“He has a great group of friends, and people in town know him now, which boosts his confidence. He’s been amazing in how he’s adapted after everything he’s been through.”
Now five years old, Ryder’s journey is far from over. His family has started a GoFundMe campaign to support his future surgeries and treatments. Ryder’s story is a testament to his incredible resilience and a call for greater kindness and empathy in the world. We wish Ryder a life filled with love, acceptance, and opportunities to thrive despite the challenges he has faced.
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