Falling in love is a magical experience. It’s filled with excitement, butterflies, and a deep desire to make the best impression on the person we adore. In those early stages, we often tweak our behavior, carefully curating how we present ourselves. Something as simple as avoiding lollipops—fearing it may make us seem childish—symbolizes this phase of self-conscious love.
However, as a relationship matures, especially after marriage, things change. The need to impress fades, and the comfort of unconditional acceptance sets in. That once-hidden love for lollipops (or any quirky habit) resurfaces, representing a return to one’s true self.
Why Do We Hide Our True Selves in the Beginning?
When we first start dating, we unknowingly step into a highlight reel version of ourselves. We filter our habits, polish our words, and refine our actions to seem more attractive. But why?
1. The Desire to Impress
At the start of a relationship, we want to be seen in the best light. Whether it’s dressing perfectly, avoiding certain foods, or hiding silly habits, we make an effort to be someone our partner will admire.
2. Fear of Being Judged
We all have quirks—maybe you love collecting action figures, singing off-key in the shower, or eating candy like a child. But in the early stages, there’s a fear that revealing too much too soon could push the other person away.
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3. Society’s Expectations
Romantic relationships, especially new ones, are often shaped by social norms and expectations. Acting “mature” or “refined” seems like the right thing to do, even if it means suppressing natural instincts like enjoying a simple lollipop.
How Marriage Changes Everything
Marriage is not just about love; it’s about comfort, trust, and deep acceptance. Once you’ve committed to each other for life, the need to impress fades, and true personalities begin to shine.
1. The Comfort of Being Yourself
In a long-term relationship, you stop overthinking every action. You no longer worry if eating candy makes you seem childish, if watching cartoons is immature, or if wearing pajamas all day is unattractive. You embrace your true self because you know your partner loves you for who you are, not for the polished version you once presented.
2. Love Shifts from Attraction to Connection
Attraction may have sparked the relationship, but emotional connection sustains it. What makes a marriage strong is genuine companionship, built on shared experiences and authenticity. That means letting your guard down—whether that’s laughing at silly jokes, dancing like no one’s watching, or, yes, eating that lollipop with pride.
3. Unconditional Acceptance
Real love isn’t about impressing; it’s about accepting. Marriage teaches you that your quirks, habits, and imperfections are what make you unique—and those are often the things your partner grows to love the most.
The Evolution of Love: From Perfection to Authenticity
Every relationship goes through stages of transformation. The love that starts with perfection-seeking gradually matures into comfort-driven authenticity.
Stage 1: The “Best Behavior” Phase
In the beginning, you avoid anything that might make you seem less attractive or mature. You wear your best clothes, avoid messy foods, and pretend you don’t binge-watch cartoons.
Stage 2: The Gradual Unveiling
As you get more comfortable, little pieces of the real you start slipping out. Maybe you start eating lollipops in front of your partner, or you admit to loving cheesy romance novels. You test the waters to see if they still find you charming despite your quirks.
Stage 3: The Marriage Comfort Zone
By the time you’re married, there’s no need for facades. You eat what you want, laugh as loudly as you please, and fully embrace your unique personality. Your partner loves you for all of it—including the quirks you once tried to hide.
What This Teaches Us About True Love
1. You Deserve to Be Loved for Who You Are
If you feel the need to hide parts of yourself to keep someone interested, they may not be the right person for you. The right relationship allows you to be yourself from the start.
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2. Authenticity Leads to Deeper Connections
Love isn’t about pretending to be perfect—it’s about being real, raw, and vulnerable. The more you embrace your true self, the stronger your bond will be.
3. The Best Relationships Feel Like Home
In a lasting love story, your partner becomes your safe space—the person with whom you can be 100% yourself. If eating lollipops brings you joy, they won’t just accept it; they’ll probably buy you a lifetime supply.
Final Thoughts: Love is About Being Yourself
At the start of a relationship, it’s natural to want to impress, but true love is about acceptance, not perfection. The shift from hiding small quirks to embracing them openly is a sign of a healthy, growing relationship.
So, if you ever hesitated to eat a lollipop because you were afraid of being judged—go ahead and unwrap it now. If you’re with the right person, they’ll love watching you enjoy it.
Man Storms Church after Priest’s Words, ‘Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace’ & Yells, ‘Stop It!’
As Noah and Alice prepare for their upcoming wedding, Noah grows suspicious of the new lavish purchases that Alice has made—items that are above their pay grade. Later, a mysterious man disrupts their wedding. Who is he, and what does he want?
After three years together, Alice and I were finally getting married. Initially, we didn’t care about having a big wedding—we just wanted the day to be a culmination of our love story, a day where we’d stand before our family and friends.
A wedding invitation and RSVP card | Source: Pexels
And yet, despite everything unfolding perfectly, a cloud of unease had settled over me, one that had nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the recent changes I’d noticed in Alice.
“I just can’t wait for our big day,” Alice gushed over breakfast one morning. “I have a few surprises, but nothing set in stone yet.”
I had no clue what she was talking about, but I figured it would be worth it—Alice was always trying to make things special in her own way.
After three years together, Alice and I were finally getting married. Initially, we didn’t care about having a big wedding—we just wanted the day to be a culmination of our love story, a day where we’d stand before our family and friends.
A wedding invitation and RSVP card | Source: Pexels
And yet, despite everything unfolding perfectly, a cloud of unease had settled over me, one that had nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the recent changes I’d noticed in Alice.
“I just can’t wait for our big day,” Alice gushed over breakfast one morning. “I have a few surprises, but nothing set in stone yet.”
I had no clue what she was talking about, but I figured it would be worth it—Alice was always trying to make things special in her own way.
A couple eating breakfast in bed | Source: Pexels
But then, in the weeks leading up to our wedding, Alice acquired several expensive accessories—a branded bag, designer shoes, and even a pair of enormous diamond earrings. It all seemed out of reach for us.
We’d always been practical about our finances, understanding our limitations. So, when I saw these designer items, I couldn’t help but question how Alice could afford them.
I asked her about it—I didn’t want to begin a new life with Alice without knowing.
“Are you sure we can afford this?” I asked, holding up the shopping bag, its content a silent accusation.
A pair of bridal shoes and earrings | Source: Pexels
Alice had been gone for most of the day, with her phone set to silent. I didn’t know where she had been, and my mind ran marathons. For a moment, I assumed the worst—that Alice was seeing someone else, someone who had splurged on luxury items.
“I got a bonus at work, Noah,” she said. “I just want to be perfect for our wedding. I want to go all out for this one day in my life.”
Alice smiled at me, a slow and reassuring smile.
I believed her. Of course, I did.
A woman smiling at the camera | Source: Pexels
Her explanation eased my worries, temporarily silencing the nagging voice in my head. And I was grateful because I wouldn’t willingly get married to Alice while nursing these treacherous thoughts.
As the ceremony began, Alice looked radiant, the very image of happiness, yet her eyes occasionally drifted to the hall’s entrance.
We stood there, listening to the priest speak about love and commitment inside and outside of marriage. Alice’s hand, tucked inside mine, grew sweatier as he spoke.
She continued to glance at the entrance the entire time.
“Are you okay?” I murmured to her. “What’s wrong?”
Alice shook her head slightly and smiled ahead at the priest.
A priest holding the bride and groom | Source: Pexels
We went ahead and said our vows, Alice’s eyes still flickering to the door.
Who did she expect to show up? I wondered.
The priest’s voice echoed through the venue once more—a solemn call for any objections to our marriage.
“If anyone here has any objection, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Silence reigned, causing me to smile.
But it was shattered within seconds by the dramatic entrance of a man whose presence immediately caused Alice’s face to light up in a way that I hadn’t seen throughout the entire ceremony.
A man wearing a suit | Source: Pexels
Every muscle in my body seized.
“Stop it!” the man boomed. “Stop the ceremony!”
Alice gasped, clasping her hands to her chest.
“I’m so sorry for interrupting the ceremony! I know I’m late, Father,” he said. “But please, let me just walk my little girl down the aisle. I’ve broken all promises to her, but this one, I can’t.”
Our guests murmured, their shock evident. Alice’s mother was on her feet, her hands clutching Alice’s bouquet tightly.
A shocked woman wearing blue | Source: Pexels
“Alice, is that…?” I began, my voice trailing off as the reality of the situation dawned on me.
Of course. Alice had the man’s eyes, and his chin. It was clear.
“Yes,” she whispered. “That’s my dad.”
Her father, a man who had been more absent than present in her life, had chosen this moment to fulfill a promise, to be there for his daughter when it mattered the most.
“Shall I carry on?” the priest asked me.
“No, let’s do the walk again,” I smiled.
A bride holding her father’s hand | Source: Pexels
As her father took her arm, guiding her toward me, I saw Alice in a new light. She finally looked like a bride who had been waiting for this day.
She beamed.
We began the ceremony again. This time, Alice laughed through her vows and cried through mine.
Afterward, her father embraced me tightly.
“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for looking after my girl.”
Later, when Alice and I were in our rented car, being driven off to the airport for our honeymoon, she told me everything.
A bride and groom sitting in a car | Source: Pexels
It turned out that Alice had reached out to her father a few weeks before the wedding. They had been speaking on and off over the years, but when it came down to our wedding—she just wanted him to walk her down the aisle.
“My dad bought me the handbag,” she admitted. “But the shoes and earrings were from my bonus.”
I’m not sure if my father-in-law plans on being a part of our lives, but I do know that I’m grateful he walked Alice down the aisle.
“Maybe he’ll stick around,” she said later when we were sipping on champagne.
Maybe he will.
A person holding a glass of champagne | Source: Pexels
Do you have any similar stories?
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