Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
My Daughter Said I Could Only Come to Her Graduation If I ‘Dressed Normal’ Because She Was Ashamed of Me
Carmen spent 22 years cleaning houses to put her daughter through college. But when graduation nears, Lena delivers a gutting ultimatum: come, but don’t look like yourself. Carmen’s pride turns to heartbreak — until she makes a bold choice that no one sees coming.
My fingers throbbed as I unlocked my front door. The scent of ammonia clung to my skin like a second uniform, my sturdy sneakers dragging across the floor. Another day without a proper break.
Keys in a front door | Source: Pexels
I’d spent 13 hours on my feet.
The bathrooms at the Westfield Hotel don’t clean themselves, and Mr. Davidson had asked me to stay late again. Three more rooms needed deep cleaning before the conference guests arrived tomorrow.
How could I say no? The overtime would help pay for Lena’s cap and gown when she graduated with her degree in business management.
A woman holding her graduation cap | Source: Pexels
My back ached as I shuffled toward the kitchen, but my eyes caught on the envelope taped to the fridge: Lena’s graduation ceremony program.
My chest warmed. Pride swelled through the exhaustion. My daughter — the first in our family to go to college.
All those years scrubbing grout and sacrificing sleep were worth it.
A woman with a satisfied smile | Source: Pexels
I whispered to myself, voice husky from fatigue, “I just want to see my girl walk that stage.”
Four years of scrimping and saving, of coming home with raw hands and a sore back.
Four years of Lena growing distant, making new friends, and learning new words that I sometimes struggled to understand.
A confident young woman | Source: Pexels
The microwave clock read 10:37 p.m. We still had to finalize the details about the ceremony; whether I’d have a reserved seat, what time I should arrive, etc.
But it was too late to call Lena now. She’d be studying for finals or out with those friends she mentioned — the ones I had never met.
Tomorrow, I promised myself. Tomorrow I would call about the ceremony.
A thoughtful woman | Source: Unsplash
On a rattling bus ride home the next day, I dialed Lena’s number.
My work shirt was damp against my back. My name, Carmen, was stitched in pale blue thread, still visible in the setting sun through the bus window.
“Hola, mija,” I said when Lena answered, the familiar voice of my daughter sending a wave of joy through my tired body.
The interior of a bus | Source: Pexels
“Mom, hi. I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“Just quick, I promise. About graduation next week… I could take the morning off, but I need to know if my seat will be reserved or if I need to get there early. I want a good seat to look at my girl.” I smiled softly, imagining the moment.
There was a pause, one that felt a little too long, and a little too heavy.
A person holding a cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Mom… you can come. Yeah. Uh, the seats aren’t reserved. Just… please promise you won’t wear anything weird.”
I stilled. My smile faded. “Weird? What would I wear that’s weird?”
“I just mean…” her voice dropped to a volume just above a whisper, “you know, not your usual stuff. This is a classy event. Everyone’s parents are, like, lawyers and doctors. Just dress… normal. No uniform. I don’t want people to know what you do.”
A woman speaking on her phone | Source: Pexels
The bus hit a pothole, jostling me forward. I gripped the phone tighter.
I didn’t reply. Lena’s words landed like bleach on a fresh cut — sharp and burning. The way she said it, like I was some embarrassing secret she needed to cover up, hurt more than anything else ever could.
“I just want this day to be perfect,” Lena continued. “It’s important. Maybe the most important day of my life, Mom.”
A woman speaking on her phone | Source: Pexels
“I know it’s important,” I managed. “Four years I’ve worked for this day.”
“That’s not what I mean. Look, I’ve got to go. My study group is waiting.”
After Lena hung up, I sat motionless as the bus rumbled on. An old woman across the aisle gave me a sympathetic look. I wondered if my humiliation was that obvious.
A woman staring out a bus window | Source: Pexels
That night, I stood in front of my small closet.
I’d decided to wear my best church dress to the graduation weeks ago, a simple but stylish yellow knee-length with white trim. Maybe I should’ve told Lena that on the phone, but would it have changed anything?
I ran my fingers over the dress’s pleated skirt.
Clothes hanging in a closet | Source: Pexels
I’d worn this same dress to Lena’s high school graduation and had felt beautiful and proud that day. Now it looked garish in the dim light of my bedroom.
My gaze shifted to my work uniforms, three identical sets hanging neatly pressed. I had washed one that very morning.
It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t impressive. But it was honest.
A thoughtful woman | Source: Pexels
I shook my head as a wave of anger washed over me. It seemed impossible that a daughter I was so proud of could also be so disappointing.
“College might teach you fancy words, but I guess it doesn’t make you smart,” I muttered.
I then took out a notepad and began to write. When I finished, I folded the pages carefully and slipped it into an envelope.
A notepad, pen, and envelope | Source: Pexels
I arrived at the graduation ceremony early and found a seat. Rows of proud families filled in around me: perfumed women in designer outfits with real pearl necklaces, suited men with brand-name watches and silk ties.
I’d decided against wearing my church dress, after all. Instead, I sat straight-backed in my uniform.
A graduation ceremony | Source: Pexels
It was clean and neatly pressed, the blue fabric faded from hundreds of washings. I had polished my sensible work shoes until they gleamed.
I stuck out in the crowd, and I knew it.
The ceremony began with pomp and circumstance. Speeches about bright futures and limitless potential.
A woman making a speech during a graduation ceremony | Source: Pexels
I understood enough to know most of these graduates had grown up in a world without any real limitations. The pearl necklaces and expensive watches around me said it all.
And then Lena walked onto the stage, her cap bobbing among the sea of black. Her face scanned the crowd.
I knew when she spotted me because her eyes widened in horror.
A woman staring at something with wide eyes | Source: Unsplash
There was no wave. Just a tight smile. Controlled. Calculated.
I clapped anyway as she received her diploma, the kind of clap that said: You’re still my little girl, no matter what.
And I hoped she understood that even though she seemed to have gotten caught up in a world where her mother’s honest work was an embarrassment.
A person holding out a diploma | Source: Pexels
After the ceremony, families swarmed the lawn. Cameras flashed. Laughter rang out across the green space.
I stood apart, watching as Lena posed with friends, her smile wide and genuine.
When Lena finally approached, I saw my daughter’s eyes dart nervously to my uniform, then back to my face.
A woman wearing a cap and gown walking down a path | Source: Pexels
“Mom…” Lena said, her voice low. “I asked you not to wear that! I told you—”
I didn’t say a word. I just handed over the gift bag I’d brought with me.
“What’s this?” Lena asked, peering inside. She pulled out an envelope and removed a thin stack of papers.
An envelope | Source: Pexels
On the day I’d spoken to Lena, I’d written a list detailing every extra shift I took over the years to provide for her school clothes, college tuition, textbooks, and everything else she needed.
It detailed every house and hotel I’d worked in, every weekend I’d worked overtime, every penny I’d pinched along the way.
And right at the bottom, I’d written a simple message: “You wanted me invisible, but this is what built your future.”
A handwritten letter | Source: Unsplash
I left while she was still reading. I had a bus to catch. Another shift tomorrow.
A week passed. I worked extra hours to push away the memory of graduation day. My supervisor noticed my distraction.
“Everything okay, Carmen?” he asked as I restocked my cleaning cart.
A man wearing a suit | Source: Pexels
“My daughter graduated college,” I said, trying to inject pride into my voice.
“That’s wonderful! You must be so proud.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
That evening, there was a knock at my door. I wiped my hands on a dish towel and went to answer it.
An apartment hallway | Source: Pexels
Lena stood there, eyes puffy. She held her cap and gown bundled in her arms.
“Can I come in?” she asked, her voice small.
I stepped back, allowing my daughter to enter the apartment that had once been our shared home.
“I read your note,” Lena said after a moment of silence. “I’ve read it about 20 times.”
A serious woman | Source: Unsplash
I didn’t speak. I just nodded.
“I didn’t know,” Lena continued. “About the extra shifts, how you worked holidays, the night cleaning jobs… or, rather, I knew, but I never fully realized how much you sacrificed for me.”
“You weren’t supposed to know,” I said finally. “That was the point.”
A woman speaking to someone | Source: Unsplash
Lena’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so ashamed. Not of you — of me.”
She reached into her bag and pulled out a frame. “Can we take a photo? Just us? I didn’t get any pictures with you at graduation.”
I didn’t speak. I just nodded.
A humble woman | Source: Unsplash
We stood together in my small living room: Lena in her gown, me in my uniform. The neighbor from across the hall took the photo with Lena’s fancy phone.
“I have a job interview next week,” Lena said later as we sat at my kitchen table. “It’s a good company, and the job offer includes benefits.”
“That’s good,” I said. “Your degree is working already.”
A smiling woman | Source: Pexels
“Mom.” Lena reached across and took my hand. Her fingers traced the calluses and chemical burns I’d accumulated over the years. “Your hands built my future. I’ll never forget that again.”
The photo now hangs in our hallway.
Because love doesn’t always look like pearls and pressed suits. Sometimes, it looks like bleach-stained sneakers and a mother who never gave up.
A person cleaning a toilet | Source: Pexels
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