Ho ho ho! Feeling festive? These Christmas jokes will have you laughing louder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: excessive cheer, snort-laughing, and spontaneous caroling may occur. Proceed with caution… and cookies!
Jingle all the way to laughter! Grab your eggnog and settle in for some holiday hilarity. These jokes are Santa-approved and guaranteed to make you laugh harder than your uncle after too much Christmas pudding.
Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: Midjourney
1. The Christmas Trap
Mike drummed his fingers on his desk, staring at his phone. His wife Janet gave him a knowing wink from across the room, already struggling to contain her laughter. Time for their annual Christmas scheme.
“Hey kiddo,” Mike said after his 20-year-old son picked up in Fairbanks, trying to sound devastated. “I hate to drop this bomb, but… your mother and I are getting divorced.”
“WHAT?” Ryan’s voice cracked so hard that his neighbor’s cat fell off the windowsill. “Dad, you can’t be serious! You just posted those matching Christmas sweater photos!”
A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
“Dead serious. Can’t stand looking at her cookbooks anymore. Three hundred and forty-two sugar cookie recipes is where I draw the line. Call your sister in Sydney. I’m done talking about it.”
Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley, nearly dropping his phone in his panic. “Dad’s lost his mind! They’re getting divorced over a cookbook!”
“OVER MY DEAD BODY AND EVERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT I OWN!” Ashley screeched, making her office plants wilt. She speed-dialed home. “Listen here, old man! Don’t you DARE sign anything! Ryan and I are flying home TONIGHT!”
A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Mike hung up and high-fived Janet, and both of them doubled over with laughter. “Works every year. Both kids coming home for Christmas. And they’re buying their own tickets!”
Janet wiped tears from her eyes. “Should we tell them this is how we got them to come to Thanksgiving too?”
“Nah,” Mike grinned. “Let’s save that trick for Easter!”
An older man with a wicked grin | Source: Midjourney
2. The Christmas Angel
Eleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.
Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:
“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”
A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: Midjourney
Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.
A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:
“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!
P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”
A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney
3. North Pole Chaos
“Code Red! Code Red!” Junior Elf Timothy squeaked into the North Pole intercom, his voice cracking like ice in hot cocoa. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy production line looks like a modern art exhibition!”
Santa rubbed his temples, watching the trainee elves turn teddy bears into abstract sculptures. Mrs. Claus chose that perfect moment to chirp, “Honey, Mother’s coming for Christmas! She’s bringing her entire fruitcake collection… even the one that set off the North Pole airport security!”
In the stables, Rudolph was organizing a reindeer union strike, demanding premium carrots and heated stalls. Dancer was in labor (terrible timing), and Prancer had eloped with a local moose named Bruce who promised her a cabin in the woods.
Startled Santa Claus | Source: Midjourney
Santa trudged to load the sleigh, only to hear an ominous CRACK! The floor splintered like thin ice, sending toys scattering everywhere like confetti at a New Year’s party gone wrong.
Stumbling inside for coffee, he found the elves had replaced it with sugar-free hot chocolate with a tag that read: “It’s healthier, Boss!” The milk jug slipped from his hands, shattering into a million pieces that sparkled like evil little stars on the kitchen floor. The cleanup broom looked like it had been through a beaver party. Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.
DING DONG!
Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: Midjourney
Santa yanked open the door, ready to cancel Christmas entirely. There stood a tiny angel, struggling under a massive Christmas tree that made her look like a sprite with an oversized umbrella.
“Special delivery!” she beamed, twinkling with festive cheer. “Where would you like me to stick it?”
And that’s why Christmas trees have angels on top, sporting slightly alarmed expressions and questioning their career choices.
An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
4. Heavenly Volume
Tommy and Jack were spending Christmas Eve at Grandma Rose’s house, famous for her legendary sugar cookies and selective hearing that rivaled military-grade noise-canceling technology.
At bedtime, Tommy (age 6) knelt beside his bed and began his strategic prayer:
“DEAR GOD, I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NEW XBOX…”
“AND A REMOTE CONTROL DINOSAUR THAT ACTUALLY BREATHES FIRE…”
“AND MAYBE A ROCKET SHIP WITH REAL ROCKET FUEL…”
A little boy praying | Source: Midjourney
Jack (age 8) nudged his brother, rolling his eyes. “Dude, volume control! God’s not streaming on Spotify!”
Tommy shot back with a mischievous grin that would make elves proud. “Yeah, but Grandma is doing her Christmas shopping tomorrow, and her hearing aid’s been acting up since she tried to bluetooth it to her toaster!”
A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: Midjourney
5. The Shopping Surprise
Linda lost track of her husband Dave at the crowded mall during last-minute Christmas shopping. After 20 minutes of searching between the endless sea of panic-buying shoppers, she called his cell.
“Dave, where on earth did you disappear to? The mall closes in an hour!”
“Honey,” his voice softened mysteriously, “remember that fancy jewelry store from our first Christmas together? The one where you fell in love with that stunning sapphire necklace, but we were so broke we could barely afford the window shopping?”
A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Linda’s heart fluttered, her anger melting faster than a snowman in July. “The one on Fifth Street? Oh my god, Dave… you didn’t…”
“Well,” he paused dramatically, “I’m in the dollar store next door. They’re having a massive sale on gift bags! Three for a dollar! Want me to grab some?”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
6. The Carol Critic
“Hey Emma,” her little brother Charlie called from the doorway, munching on his third candy cane of the morning. “You should totally join the Christmas choir at school! They’re still accepting applications!”
14-year-old Emma stopped practicing her scales, hope blooming in her eyes. “Really? You actually like my singing? After all this time?”
“Nah,” Charlie grinned, revealing red and white striped teeth. “But they only perform once a year, and I already know which day to wear my noise-canceling headphones!”
A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: Midjourney
7. The Gift Switch
At the office Christmas party, Tom was bragging about the amazing gift he got his wife Sarah, waving his phone around with photos.
“Check it out, man. Diamond earrings! Cost me a fortune, but worth every penny!”
His coworker Steve whistled, sipping his fourth cup of spiked eggnog. “But didn’t Sarah specifically ask for that new SUV? The one she’s been hinting about since last Christmas?”
“She did,” Tom smirked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “But try finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool your mother-in-law!”
A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney
8. The Budget Tree
“Dad, pleeeease can we get a real Christmas tree this year?” little Jimmy begged for the hundredth time, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I’m tired of explaining to my friends why our plastic tree smells like a basement and old tennis shoes!”
Frank grabbed his axe and wallet, sighing dramatically while secretly winking at his wife. “Fine. The things I do for Christmas spirit…”
He returned suspiciously quickly with a perfect tree, not a drop of sweat in sight.
A man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney
“That was fast,” Jimmy said, eyeing the pristine axe. “Did you even use it?”
“Nope!” Frank grinned proudly. “But the tree lot guy offered a 75% discount when I started examining the trees with it! Sometimes the best lumberjack is the one who never swings!”
A stunned boy | Source: Midjourney
9. The Biblical Bird
Three brothers — Richie, Steve, and Joe — gathered for their annual post-Christmas brag-fest about their gifts to their 80-year-old mother.
Richie puffed up his chest. “I built her a mansion with an elevator and a meditation room!”
Steve smirked, twirling his car keys. “Amateur. I bought her a Rolls-Royce with a personal chauffeur!”
Joe leaned back, sipping his cocoa. “You guys are so last season. Remember how Mom loves the Bible but can’t see well? I found this amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible on command. Took the church elders twelve years to train him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse!”
A person in church holding a parrot | Source: Midjourney
Their mother’s thank-you notes arrived the next week:
“Dear Richie: The mansion’s lovely, but I’m too old to remember which of the 7 bathrooms I left my glasses in.
Dear Steve: The car’s beautiful, but my driver keeps falling asleep during my stories.
Dear Joe: The chicken was pretty small but delicious! Especially with the sage stuffing!”
Roasted chicken on the table | Source: Midjourney
10. The Window Shopping Incident
Karen spotted the perfect Christmas party dress sparkling in the store’s window display, guaranteed to make her the talk of the office party.
“Excuse me,” she called to a passing saleswoman. “Could I try on that gorgeous shimmery dress in the window? The one with the sequins?”
The saleswoman clutched her pearls, looking thoroughly scandalized. “Absolutely not, Ma’am! We have perfectly good fitting rooms for that sort of thing. This isn’t that kind of establishment!”
A dress displayed in a store | Source: Midjourney
11. The Santa Hotline
Sophie was driving her mom crazy with constant battles with her teenage sister Madison. The latest war was over borrowed (stolen) Christmas sweaters and who ate the last gingerbread cookie.
Mom had enough. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”
She dialed her brother Bob, resident Santa impersonator extraordinaire. Sophie’s eyes grew huge as Mom detailed her crimes against sisterhood, including the Great Hair Dryer Incident of last Tuesday.
“Santa wants a word with you,” Mom handed over the phone, trying not to smirk as her master plan unfolded.
A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Uncle Bob dropped his voice to subterranean levels. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie… No presents for girls who torment their sisters. I’m watching! And yes, I saw you hide that cookie under your pillow!”
Sophie nodded solemnly through the lecture, then hung up with a suspicious gleam in her eye.
“Well?” Mom asked, expecting victory. “What did Santa say?”
Sophie shrugged, skipping away. “He said Madison’s getting coal this year. Apparently, she’s the real troublemaker. Also, he said you should check your own cookie stash, Mom!”
A little girl smiling | Source: Midjourney
And there you have it, folks! If these jokes made you laugh, share them faster than your relatives share embarrassing childhood stories at Christmas dinner! Keep spreading the holiday cheer with these 10 More Best Christmas Jokes. Ho ho ho!
Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney
A Woman Bad-Mouthed Her Future DIL, Only to Realize the Next Day She Was Talking About Me — Story of the Day
I thought I was helping a sharp-tongued customer pick a gift for her son’s girlfriend. But our clash became deeply personal when she came to dinner as my BF’s mother.
The morning light painted the shop windows in soft, golden hues, catching on the frost that had crept up overnight. Inside, the air was warm and rich with the scent of cinnamon and pine. The shelves sparkled with handcrafted treasures—delicate ornaments, carved wooden toys, and intricately decorated candles.
Every day, I sold gifts or helped people choose the perfect present to light up a loved one’s face. People often wandered by, peering through the glass, and their smiles gave me a small rush of pride.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
The familiar chime of the doorbell broke my thoughts. I turned, expecting another friendly face.
The woman’s heels clicked sharply against the wooden floor as she entered, her every movement deliberate, as if choreographed. Her jewelry glittered in a way that felt more commanding than beautiful.
“Good morning,” I offered with my usual warmth.
She barely nodded, her lips forming a polite but strained smile. “I’m looking for a gift. For my son’s girlfriend. We’re meeting tomorrow.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Of course,” I replied, gesturing to a nearby shelf. “We have some lovely…”
“Not those.” She waved a manicured hand dismissively before I could finish. “Too rustic.”
I blinked but kept my tone steady. “How about this?” I reached for a hand-painted jewelry box. “It’s handmade, and the details…”
“Too expensive,” she said sharply, cutting me off again. “For someone who hasn’t yet proven herself worthy? I don’t think so.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
The comment stung more than it should have, but I masked it with a small nod.
“Perhaps a scarf then?” I suggested, holding up a soft woolen one. “It’s practical and elegant…”
“Not her style,” she said, her voice tinged with impatience. Her eyes flicked over me briefly as if she were assessing more than just the shop. “Is this all you have? I thought these little places were supposed to be unique.”
“Every item here is chosen with care,” I said evenly. “I’m sure we can find something.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
She sighed, glancing at her watch.
“I’ll come back later, maybe,” she muttered, though the dismissal in her tone made it clear she wouldn’t.
Without another word, she left, the door shutting behind her with a definitive jingle.
The joy that had filled the shop earlier seemed to dim. I had dealt with difficult customers before. But something about that woman left a sour taste in my mouth.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
The next evening, I smoothed the front of my dress, checking my reflection one last time. That night was supposed to be a quiet dinner with my boyfriend Ethan, a chance to unwind after a long week.
As we arrived at the candlelit bistro, Ethan leaned in and whispered, “Oh, by the way, my Mom, Margaret, is joining us. She’s excited to meet you.”
My panic prickled at the edges. “What?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“She’s already here,” Ethan said, gesturing toward the corner. “I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to overthink it. Relax, she’s going to love you. Trust me.”
I managed a tight smile, but my nerves coiled tighter with every step. When we reached the table, my heart sank completely.
Margaret. It was her! The woman from the shop. Her sharp gaze met mine, and I saw a flicker of recognition before she quickly masked it with a polite smile.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, this is Grace,” Ethan said warmly. “Grace, my mom, Margaret.”
“Hello,” I said, extending my hand. Her grip was firm but brief, her polished nails catching the low light.
“Grace,” she repeated, her tone neutral, “Ethan’s mentioned you. It’s nice to put a face to the name.”
As we sat down, Margaret immediately took charge of the conversation, her voice smooth and authoritative.
“Ethan, did I tell you about the holiday charity gala coming up?” Margaret began, her eyes sparkling with the kind of enthusiasm that came naturally when she spoke about herself.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“That’s incredible, Mom,” Ethan said, glancing at me with a smile. “She’s always got so much going on. Isn’t that impressive, Grace? Mom’s pretty amazing at juggling it all.”
“It sounds like a lot of work,” I said politely, though Margaret’s focus was already elsewhere.
“Oh, it is. The guest list alone has been a nightmare. Such a headache, but what can you do? These events practically run on connections.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Ethan didn’t miss a beat, turning the conversation back toward me. “You know, Grace has been really busy too. She’s incredible at helping people find the perfect gifts.”
Margaret’s lips curled into a faintly amused smile. “Well, that’s certainly a skill. Perhaps something to chat about another time.”
Ethan squeezed my hand briefly under the table, offering silent reassurance, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. When Ethan left to pay the bill, Margaret turned to me, her polite mask slipping.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“I’m going to be honest,” she began. “You seem nice, but I don’t see you fitting into Ethan’s life long-term. He needs someone who can complement his ambitions. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I swallowed hard, willing myself not to react. There was no point in arguing.
Instead, I met her gaze and nodded politely. Ethan returned moments later, oblivious to the tension, and I plastered on a smile, wishing desperately for the night to end.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
A few days later, I was surprised to find an envelope slipped under my apartment door. Inside was an invitation to Margaret’s charity fair, accompanied by a neatly written note:
Grace, it would be helpful if you could come by a day early to assist with preparations. Margaret.
I stared at it for a long moment, unsure what to make of the gesture. Was this an olive branch, or just another test? Ethan, of course, saw it as a positive sign.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“It’s a great opportunity for her to see how amazing you are,” he said, his eyes filled with encouragement. “Just be yourself. She’ll come around.”
I wasn’t so convinced, but I agreed to go. If nothing else, I thought, it was a chance to support Ethan.
***
When I arrived the next day, the venue was buzzing with activity, though “chaotic” might have been a better word. People in sleek coats and bright scarves darted around, shouting instructions or carrying decorations.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Margaret stood in the center, directing it all like a conductor of an unruly orchestra. “Grace, you’re here. There’s plenty to do.”
She gestured toward a table where two women sat sipping champagne, surrounded by half-unpacked boxes of decorations. They didn’t notice the glitter they were spilling onto the white tablecloths.
“Start with the tables, will you? My friends, Linda and Carol, will help you.” Margaret said, barely glancing at me. “The spills are a disaster, and that glitter is everywhere. It needs to look perfect for tomorrow.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
As I grabbed a cloth to clean up the mess, Linda glanced at me with a smirk.
“Oh, bless you for doing this. Margaret’s got such a keen eye. Everything has to be just so,” she said, giggling as she clinked glasses with Carol.
I swallowed my pride and focused on the work. No matter how deliberate that felt, I reminded myself I was there for Ethan and the cause.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
The evening dragged on, and Margaret’s usual poise began to crack. Her phone rang, and she answered it briskly. But suddenly, she lowered the phone, her face pale and tense.
“What’s wrong?” Linda asked, noticing Margaret’s unusual stillness.
Margaret sank onto a nearby sofa, pressing her fingers to her temples.
“The Christmas souvenirs… They’ve been delayed. There’s nothing to sell tomorrow.”
Panic rippled through the room. For the first time, I saw Margaret’s armor falter.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I hesitated, then stepped forward. “I can help.”
“Help? How? You can’t just fix this, Grace.” Her words were biting, but I could hear the fear beneath them.
“I’ll figure something out,” I replied, keeping my voice steady.
Her doubt stung, but I didn’t let it deter me. Something had to be done, and I knew I could do it.
***
That night, the shop door creaked softly as I pushed it open. I stood still for a moment, taking it all in—the shelves lined with ornaments that glittered faintly in the dim light, the delicate figurines arranged just so, and the jars of sweets stacked in neat rows.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I rolled up my sleeves and began to work, carefully packing the ornaments and arranging them in sturdy boxes. The figurines followed—tiny angels, snowmen, and reindeer, each wrapped in tissue paper to protect their fragile beauty. The sweets in bright wrappers went last.
Hours passed, but I didn’t feel the time. When I finished, the shop looked bare, but my heart felt full. Ethan arrived just as I sealed the last box.
“Grace, are you sure about this?” he asked, gesturing to the stack of boxes. “This is a lot to give.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“It’s what needs to be done,” I said simply, brushing my hair back from my face.
“How can you take all of this without the owner’s permission?”
“Ethan, I am the owner. I’ve been the shopkeeper, the accountant, the cleaner—everything. This shop is mine. I’ve kept it to myself because it’s my sanctuary corner of magic. I didn’t want to share it until I was ready.”
“You’ve been running this place all on your own? That’s incredible, Grace.”
Together, we loaded the car and drove to the venue. By morning, the shop’s treasures adorned the tables, their sparkle transforming the chaotic space into something truly magical.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
The following morning, guests wandered through, admiring the ornaments and figurines, their smiles proof that the effort had been worth it.
Margaret approached me just as the last of the guests were leaving, her expression thoughtful and her tone uncharacteristically soft.
“Grace,” she began. “I owe you an apology.”
“There’s no need…”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“No, let me finish,” she said firmly. “I misjudged you from the start. When Ethan first mentioned you, I assumed… well, I assumed wrong. What you did tonight, saving the charity fair like that, was extraordinary. And you didn’t even hesitate.”
Her eyes glistened, though she quickly looked away as if to hide it. “I insist on paying for every single souvenir you brought. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thank you, Margaret.”
“I’d like you to spend Christmas with us. Here. As a family.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I hesitated, unsure if she meant it, but the sincerity in her expression was undeniable.
“I’d love that,” I said finally.
That evening, as we all gathered around the table, Margaret was no longer the stern, unyielding woman I had met in the shop or at dinner.
Ethan caught my eye across the table. That night, he shared how much it meant to him to see his mother open up, to see her finally embracing the people he cared about. It was a Christmas I would never forget.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
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If you enjoyed this story, read this one: I thought I had found the perfect Christmas romance—a man who seemed to bring magic into my life. But as the snow fell and the holidays approached, I uncovered a truth that turned my world upside down and left me questioning everything I believed about love and trust. Read the full story here.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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