My neighbor Sharon is the type of person who competes over everything, even Christmas lights. When her petty jealousy turned my festive yard into a muddy mess, she thought she’d won. But karma struck her with a surprising twist and gave her the spotlight she deserved.
You ever have that one neighbor who seems to thrive on being a pain in the rear? For me, that’s Sharon. I’m Evelyn — 35, mom to two mischievous cats, and a lover of low-key Christmas cheer. I live in a quiet neighborhood, the kind where most people wave when they pass by.
But Sharon? She doesn’t just wave. She sizes up your yard, your decorations, and probably your soul, thinking of ways to OUTDO you.
A woman decorating a Christmas tree | Source: Unsplash
Last year, the Homeowners’ Association (HOA) hosted a “Best Christmas Yard” contest. Honestly, I wasn’t even planning to enter, but Sharon made it impossible to ignore.
“Hey, Evelyn!” she called out one November morning, leaning over our shared fence. Her nails were perfectly manicured — bright red, as if she’d already decided she was Mrs. Claus. “Are you decorating this year? For the contest?”
“What contest?” I asked, genuinely clueless.
Her smirk widened. “Oh, the HOA is hosting this fun little competition. Best yard gets a plaque or something. I figured you’d want to know. Not that I need the competition.”
An arrogant woman standing behind a fence | Source: Midjourney
I rolled my eyes. “Wow, Sharon. Humble as always.”
“Humble?” she scoffed. “I prefer the term ‘professionally festive.’ Someone has to set the neighborhood standard.”
She laughed like she’d already won. I just shrugged.
“Thanks for the heads-up. I almost forgot about that,” I said.
Sharon went all in. Two days later, her yard looked like Christmas had exploded. Inflatable Santa? Check. Reindeer? Check. Thousands of twinkling lights synced to “Jingle Bell Rock”? Double-check. She even roped off sections for photo ops, charging five bucks per picture.
A yard flaunting stunning Christmas decor | Source: Midjourney
“Five-dollar Christmas memories!” Sharon announced to anyone within earshot. “Limited time offer!”
Me? I threw up a few string lights, hung an old wreath I dug out from the attic, and set out some candy canes. It wasn’t much, but the neighborhood kids loved it. They’d walk by, munching cookies or tugging on their parents’ sleeves, pointing at my yard like it was Santa’s little hideout.
That was all I needed.
The HOA announced the winner at the annual block party. I wasn’t even paying attention until I heard my name.
“And the Best Christmas Yard goes to… EVELYN!”
I blinked in disbelief. My yard? Seriously?
A stunned woman | Source: Midjourney
I went up to accept the certificate, feeling more awkward than proud. From the corner of my eye, I saw Sharon standing stiff as a nutcracker. Her lips were pursed so tight I thought they’d disappear.
“Congratulations,” she said when I passed her on my way back to my seat. Her tone? Sweet as vinegar, with an undertone that could curdle eggnog.
“Oh my,” she continued, her smile so forced it looked like it was held together with Christmas ornament wire, “I’m just THRILLED for you. Who would’ve thought… a few candy canes and some string lights could beat my PROFESSIONAL display?”
“Thanks, Sharon,” I replied, keeping my voice light.
She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m sure it was just a clerical error. These things happen.”
An annoyed woman | Source: Midjourney
The rest of the evening, she avoided me, but I caught her glaring a few times. Her fake smile was so rigid I was half-expecting it to crack like an icicle.
Honestly, I thought that’d be the end of it… just some harmless competition. I should’ve known better. Especially with Sharon.
Christmas morning, I packed up the car and headed to my mom’s. She wasn’t doing great health-wise, so I wanted to spend the holiday with her. When I came back two days later, my jaw hit the floor.
There was a muddy path leading from the sidewalk straight to my front door. My yard — my clean, festive yard — was a disaster zone. Mud covered everything. And right next to it, in giant letters, was the message:
“BEST YARD.”
A yard with a muddy track | Source: Midjourney
I stared at it, rage bubbling up inside me. Who else could’ve done this? It was classic Sharon — over-the-top, childish, and just plain mean.
“I should go confront her,” I muttered, then quickly backtracked. “No, no. Confronting Sharon is like voluntarily walking into the Grinch’s cave. With a welcome mat. And maybe a fruit basket.”
I grabbed a shovel and trash bags, my internal monologue running wild. “Confrontation? Pfft. She’d probably have surveillance cameras. Or worse… witnesses prepared with sworn testimonies about my ‘aggressive yard behavior’.”
A woman holding a shovel on a muddy track | Source: Midjourney
Muttering under my breath, I started scooping the sloppy mud. “Petty, immature… How does she even have time for this? Miss ‘I sync my Christmas lights to Broadway musical numbers’.”
I paused, my shovel mid-scoop. “If I go over there, she’ll play the victim. She’ll have tea. Probably Christmas-themed. With little gingerbread man coasters.”
Another scoop of mud. “Nope. Not worth it. She’d turn this into a three-act Christmas drama where I’m the villain.”
As I continued scooping, my frustration grew. “Best yard, huh? More like best mud sculpture. Congratulations, Sharon. You’ve truly OUTDONE yourself this time.”
A frustrated woman with her face covered in mud | Source: Midjourney
I grabbed another trash bag, still grumbling. And as I started scooping up more mud, karma decided to make a surprise appearance.
“Evelyn! WAIT!”
I looked up to see Sharon sprinting toward me, her face pale as snow.
“What do you want?” I asked, holding my shovel mid-air. “Come to offer more landscaping advice?”
“Please don’t throw the mud away!” she begged, her voice shrill and desperate. She looked like a deer caught in headlights — if that deer was wearing designer winter boots and had a manicure.
An anxious woman screaming | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. “Why would I keep mud? You think I’m building a mud castle here? Planning some avant-garde Christmas sculpture?”
She hesitated, wringing her hands. “I, uh… I lost something. My engagement ring. I think it might’ve fallen off when I was… uh…”
“When you were writing ‘BEST YARD’ in my lawn?” I finished for her, raising an eyebrow. “How convenient.”
Her face turned beet red. “Look, just… don’t throw it out, okay? I’ll clean it up myself!”
I crossed my arms, smirking. The power dynamics had suddenly shifted, and I was living for every second. “Oh no, Sharon. You wanted to make a mess? Fine. But I’m finishing the cleanup. If your ring’s in here, you’re welcome to dig for it. In the dumpster!”
A furious woman frowning | Source: Midjourney
Her eyes widened in pure horror. “Evelyn, please —”
“Better get started,” I interrupted, tossing another shovelful of mud into the trash bag. “I hear mud is great for exfoliation. Consider this your Christmas spa treatment.”
Sharon looked trapped, like a perfectly coiffed rat in a very expensive mousetrap.
An hour later after I was done, she ended up elbow-deep in garbage, sifting through mud in her designer boots.
“You find it yet?” I called, standing on the porch with a cup of coffee, enjoying the show like it was my personal holiday parade.
“Not. Helping,” she snapped, wiping mud from her face. Her perfectly highlighted hair now looked like a mud sculpture gone wrong.
A woman sifting through a garbage bag | Source: Midjourney
Neighbors started coming out of their houses, pretending to “take a walk” or “check the mail.” Soon, half the block was watching Sharon dig through trash bags like a raccoon… a very well-dressed, increasingly frustrated raccoon.
One guy across the street whispered to his wife, “Did you see her boots? That’s gotta be at least $400 ruined right there.”
“I’d be more worried about the coat,” his wife replied, stifling a laugh. “Those designer labels don’t exactly scream ‘mud-friendly’.”
Sharon overheard and shot them a look that could freeze Santa’s sleigh mid-flight.
An annoyed woman frowning | Source: Midjourney
An hour later, she let out a triumphant shriek that could’ve shattered glass. She held up the ring like she’d won an Olympic medal for Most Dramatic Mud Excavation.
“Found it!” she yelled.
I clapped slowly, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Congrats. Now about the rest of the mud…”
She shot me a death glare so intense it could’ve melted the North Pole. She shoved the ring into her pocket, and stomped back to her house. The sound of her squelching boots was music to my ears.
Close-up shot of a woman holding a diamond ring | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, I stepped outside with a cup of coffee, expecting to see Sharon’s inflatable Santa waving cheerfully like always. But her yard was… EMPTY. No twinkling lights, no music, not even a stray candy cane. Just an eerie, stripped-down lawn that looked like it was bracing itself for a mid-January thaw.
“Whoa,” muttered Greg, my neighbor from two doors down, as he shuffled past with his dog. “Sharon finally gave up?”
“Looks like it,” I said, pretending to study my shrubs while biting back a grin.
The neighborhood buzzed about it all day. Apparently, Sharon had packed everything up at the crack of dawn. Rumor was, she’d been too mortified to face anyone after her mud-wrestling performance in my yard. One neighbor swore she heard Sharon muttering something about how “the spotlight wasn’t worth it.”
An empty yard on a snowy day | Source: Midjourney
“More like the mud-light wasn’t worth it,” I mumbled to myself.
By afternoon, people were strolling by my yard to compliment my decorations again. “So simple, so sweet,” Mrs. Hargrove cooed. “You really deserved that win.”
“Effortless Christmas charm,” I replied with a wink. “Sometimes less is more.”
I just smiled and thanked them, my heart doing a little victory dance. Not because I’d won, but because I knew Sharon was probably inside her house, peeking through the blinds, stewing in her own embarrassment.
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
That night, as I watered my poinsettias, Sharon stepped out to check her mailbox. She glanced my way, and for a second, I thought she might wave or say something civil.
Instead, she turned on her heel and marched back inside, slamming the door behind her so hard I thought the Christmas wreaths might shake.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Maybe next year, Sharon. Maybe next year!”
A furious woman standing at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
My Husband Tried to ‘Fix’ Me with a New Schedule—My Epic Response Left Him Speechless
I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.
I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.
Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.
Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.
He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.
“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”
“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.
“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.
I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.
Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.
I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.
There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”
I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”
Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”
He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”
“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”
Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”
We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.
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