The topic of what constitutes a lasting and prosperous marriage has been a subject of ongoing discussion. While effective communication is often considered a crucial factor, a Japanese couple defied expectations by maintaining a 20-year marriage without saying a word. The surprising rationale behind their silent union adds an intriguing twist to their story.
A Japanese husband took the “silent treatment” to a whole new level.
The silent treatment entails the refusal to participate in verbal communication when someone is trying to engage and elicit a response. It is not unusual to observe a pause in communication following an argument.
However, can you imagine the difficulty of being married to a spouse who persistently avoids communication? This was the situation for a couple from the Nara region in Japan. Otou Katayama and his wife Yumi faced a prolonged two-decade rough patch in their relationship.
For decades, the man refrained from speaking to his wife, even though they lived under the same roof.
Otou Katayama continued to reside with his children and wife. Despite Yumi Katayama’s attempts to initiate conversations with her husband, she consistently faced a dearth of genuine responses. Instead, Otou communicated approval or disapproval through non-verbal cues, relying on grunts and nods.
Surprisingly, the idea of seeking a divorce or separation never crossed the wife’s mind. The couple even extended their family by welcoming a third child, all while Otou Katayama maintained his silent demeanor towards his wife.
The reason behind Katayama’s silence is even more surprising.
Years later, the father and husband elucidated the reasons behind imposing a 20-year silent treatment on his wife. Katayama believed he was lacking the attention he desired from his wife, feeling that her care was predominantly focused on their children.
Initially, he merely sulked about the situation, but over time, this evolved into a sense of jealousy toward his kids and his wife, who exhibited deep involvement in the upbringing of their offspring—perhaps a level of involvement that exceeded Katayama’s preferences.
Thanks to a TV show, husband and wife finally exchanged words after 20 years.
After two decades of silence, the adult children of the Japanese couple decided to take matters into their own hands. They approached a TV show, seeking assistance in resolving the longstanding conflict between their parents. TV Hokkaido stepped in to help the children witness Katayama speaking to his wife for the first time.
The children confessed that they couldn’t recall ever hearing a conversation between their parents. TV Hokkaido orchestrated a meeting between Otou and Yumi at a park, the same location as their first date many years ago. Unbeknownst to the spouses, their children, along with the audience, observed the emotional moment unfolding before their eyes.
After some initial hesitation, Otou Katayama finally mustered the courage to speak a few words to his wife, Yumi. In that moment, the husband felt a heightened sense of remorse and understanding regarding the situation. Katayama conveyed to his wife that he was aware of the pain and hardship his prolonged silence had caused her. Despite his regret, he also expressed gratitude to Yumi for standing by him throughout two decades of his silent period, which ultimately came to an end on that day.
Undoubtedly, the relationship between Otou and Yumi is distinctive, much like that of the couple from our previous article who, despite the woman’s disability and the criticism they faced, embarked on the journey of starting a family and became parents.
Inside the love story of Hasnat Khan and Princess Diana
Princess Diana was known for her heartfelt visits to hospitals, where she brought joy and hope to those in need.
However, one visit turned into something far more — a passionate love affair that remained shrouded in secrecy for years.
It’s 1995 – just two months prior to the infamous Panorama interview that would forever alter Diana’s life. You might remember that interview, when Princess Diana came clean about her struggles with mental health and the trials of her marriage, capturing the world’s empathy.
Two months before that interview, Diana crossed paths with a handsome doctor, a Muslim whose dark good looks were compared to the charming actor Omar Sharif.
The dashing heart surgeon, Dr. Hasnat Khan, worked at the Royal Brompton Hospital in London. But how did this unlikely pair end up together?
Well, that’s because Joe Toffolo, the patient who underwent surgery, was married to Oonagh Shanley-Toffolo, an Irish nun and acupuncturist who was a close confidante of Princess Diana.
After the initial visit, Diana returned to the hospital almost daily for three weeks, eager to pursue the handsome surgeon. The connection was electric.
Smoked cigarettes and loved KFC
Today, when we look back at countless photos of Diana visiting the hospital, it’s officially stated that she went to cheer up sick children or raise awareness for cystic fibrosis.
That’s definitely true. However, she also had personal reasons. Beneath the surface, her motivations were deeply personal. Because at 35, Diana had discovered a reason to smile once more.
(Photo by Stan Karczmarz/Sygma via Getty Images)
When Diana and Khan started seeing each other, it marked Diana’s most serious involvement since her separation from Prince Charles three years earlier.
But it came shrouded in secrecy. Few knew about their budding romance, a bond that seemed improbable at first glance. Dr. Khan, then 37, was a heart surgeon
that was running fat and smoked a pack of cigarettes a day,
He had penchant for late-night jazz clubs and Kentucky Fried Chicken — an unconventional match for the Princess of Wales.
But this didn’t stop Diana.
”He’s drop-dead gorgeous,” Diana reportedly told Oonagh Toffolo.
Secret messages
To keep their love under wraps, Diana cleverly disguised her messages for Khan, using the alias ”Dr. Armani.” They met in secret, often in unconventional spots to avoid prying eyes.
On one occasion, Diana donned a black wig to sneak into Ronnie Scott’s, a famous jazz club in Soho. In another instance, Khan hid in the boot of a car to slip into Kensington Palace, aided by Diana’s loyal butler, Paul Burrell.
Their romance flourished even during casual outings.
One day, when Diana was feeling low, Khan whisked her away to a pub near Harefield Hospital where he had worked. The name? The Prince of Wales.
”She thought it was hilarious,” he recalled with a chuckle.
Diana was so enamored that she even asked her butler to find a priest who could marry them, despite Khan’s Muslim faith. Their love deepened as they spent time together, sharing laughter and discovering each other’s worlds.
Diana reportedly read books on Islam and cherished a photograph of “my dishy doctor.” She even visited Khan’s family in Lahore, Pakistan, where she embraced their culture and enjoyed a delightful afternoon tea.
Met William and Harry
This whirlwind romance took a more serious turn when Diana introduced Khan to her sons, William and Harry.
She described him as “Mr. Wonderful” and, according to her butler Burrell, she referred to Khan as her soulmate. Friends of Diana stated that he was ”the love of her life” and that she expressed distress when their relationship ended.
Yet, as love stories often go, their fairytale faced obstacles.
The mounting pressure from the media began to take a toll on their relationship. While Diana was accustomed to the limelight, for Khan, the intense scrutiny was daunting.
He feared that pursuing their relationship publicly could jeopardize his career.
They discussed possible solutions, including moving to Pakistan — a plan that nearly came to fruition. Talks of relocating to Australia or South Africa were also on the table, but nothing materialized. According to The Guardian, Diana’s desire for public acknowledgment clashed with Khan’s reluctance, leading to a heartbreaking conclusion: the romance ended in July 1997.
Khan finds out about Dodi
Just a month later, tragedy struck. In the early hours of August 31, 1997, Diana died in a car crash in Paris, alongside her partner Dodi Fayed and their driver, Henri Paul.
Khan was blindsided by the news of Diana’s relationship with Dodi, discovering it only after it became public. ”When I found out, I was really mad; mad as hell,” he confessed in a 2012 interview.
Khan attended her funeral at Westminster Abbey.
The shadow of her tragic death looms over him still. “Sometimes I feel like screaming,” Khan shared, reflecting on the emotional turmoil. “There have been very bad times. I have moved on, but it keeps coming back.”
Despite the heartbreak, Khan fondly remembers Diana: ”We all have our drawbacks, but I found her a very normal person with great qualities and some personal drawbacks, like bad habits.”
Hasnat Khan today
In 2006, Khan married Hadia Sher Ali, a 28-year-old woman descended from Afghan royalty, but the couple divorced two years later.
He now lives in the UK, continuing his work as a heart surgeon and engaging in humanitarian efforts in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.
Reflecting on his life, Khan shared: ”It is very good to be home. I am quite relieved to be home. My blood pressure is stable—I go fishing, I go for walks. It feels like a sanctuary. It’s very peaceful.”
Though the romance between Princess Diana and Dr. Hasnat Khan was short-lived, it remains an interesting chapter in her life, a testament to the complexity of love in the face of royal duty and public scrutiny.
As we remember the Princess, we celebrate not just her legacy, but also the love she shared with a man who saw her for who she truly was—a normal person with extraordinary qualities.
Leave a Reply