How to Recognize Sneaky Narcissistic Traits in Mothers

Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.

They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.

Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.

Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.

Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.

Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.

She’s only worried about her own problems.

A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.

These mothers humiliate their children.

There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.

Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.

She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.

Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.

Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.

She thinks she always deserves the best.

A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.

This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.

Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.

Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.

This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.

She cares too much about how other people see her.

A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.

Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.

She complains about people that do something against her will.

Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.

These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.

Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.

A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.

Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.

She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.

Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.

Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.

They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.

A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.

This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.

Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.

One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.

Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.

These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.

I Accidentally Answered My Husband’s Work Call — The Voice on the Other End Exposed His Double Life

When Julianne answers her husband’s phone, the furious voice on the other end reveals a devastating secret: her husband has been living a double life. Now, she’ll have to act fast to protect herself and her son from the fallout of her husband’s deceit.

If you’d asked me that morning if I was happy, I would’ve said yes. Maybe not convincingly, but I would’ve said it. That was before the call.

A silhouette of a woman | Source: Midjourney

A silhouette of a woman | Source: Midjourney

I spent my days juggling the roles of wife, mother, and school volunteer. My husband, Raymond, was the breadwinner, a mid-level manager who came home late too often these days, citing work stress.

My eight-year-old son, Ethan, was my anchor, and the reason I kept pushing through even when Raymond’s distant eyes gnawed at me.

But I didn’t have time to dwell. Life kept moving, and I was good at keeping up.

Close up of a woman's face | Source: Midjourney

Close up of a woman’s face | Source: Midjourney

I’d already seen Ethan off to school on the bus and was leaning in to kiss Ray goodbye when he whirled away from me and grabbed his briefcase.

“I’ve got to rush. Today’s going to be crazy and Mr. Richards must be waiting for me already,” he muttered as he rushed out the door.

I didn’t even notice he’d left his phone on the kitchen table. When it started ringing a few minutes after he left, I answered automatically, thinking it was mine.

A cell phone | Source: Midjourney

A cell phone | Source: Midjourney

“Raymond,” snapped a woman’s voice, sharp and angry. “I warned you! If you don’t get rid of her, I’ll tell everyone I’m pregnant with your child.”

My throat closed up. I knew that voice… it was Vera, my sister!

“I’m done waiting, Ray. This is your last warning. Tell her today, or else!”

Before I could scream or demand answers, the line went dead.

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Midjourney

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Midjourney

I stood there, frozen, the phone clutched so tightly in my hand that my knuckles turned white. Vera had always been the storm to my calm. Beautiful, reckless, and magnetic, she flitted through life, bringing chaos and charm in equal measure.

And now she was pregnant with my husband’s child. They’d been cheating on me… for how long?

A strange, detached instinct kicked in, like my body was operating on autopilot. My thumb hovered over the screen before I unlocked Raymond’s phone, the password I’d seen him type a thousand times burning in my mind.

A woman standing in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney

A woman standing in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney

My fingers trembled as I scrolled through the messages. And there were dozens of texts, a thread of secrets I was never supposed to uncover.

Vera’s words were insistent, pleading: When are you going to tell her? I can’t keep doing this, Ray. She’s clueless.

Then Raymond’s careful, measured replies: I just need more time. I want to do this right. We can’t risk her finding out — it’ll ruin everything.

The bile rose in my throat as I pieced it together. They had a plan, and it was cold, and calculated.

A heartbroken woman | Source: Midjourney

A heartbroken woman | Source: Midjourney

They’d leave their marriages in such a way that nobody would suspect their affair. Vera was ready to leave Jack, and Raymond had been weighing how to drop me quietly and cleanly, ensuring his finances remained untouched.

She won’t get a penny, one of his messages read. I’ll make sure of it.

My knees buckled, and I slid to the kitchen floor.

A woman sitting on a floor | Source: Midjourney

A woman sitting on a floor | Source: Midjourney

The phone slipped from my grasp and clattered onto the tiles, but I didn’t care. I sat there, shaking, the weight of betrayal pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket.

Vera’s voice replayed in my head, layered over Raymond’s careful lies. The two people I trusted most in the world had conspired against me, trading whispers behind my back while I set the table for family dinners and kissed Raymond goodnight.

The betrayal didn’t just sting; it consumed me, a fiery, unrelenting ache that made my vision blur.

An emotional woman | Source: Midjourney

An emotional woman | Source: Midjourney

I pressed my hands to my face, trying to block it all out. But it was burned into my mind now. My husband and my sister were plotting my destruction.

For the first time in my life, I felt entirely untethered. But I wasn’t going to let them destroy my life. And I wouldn’t let Ethan suffer for their selfishness.

Anger fueled me, sharpening my focus as I grabbed my keys and headed straight for Vera’s husband’s office.

An office building | Source: Pexels

An office building | Source: Pexels

Jack was the kind of man who could turn chaos into order. He was everything Vera wasn’t: level-headed, meticulous, and about as far from impulsive as a person could get. If anyone could help me, it was Jack.

The office building was quiet. Jack’s secretary wasn’t even there yet; her desk sat empty as I marched past it, my sneakers squeaking against the polished floors.

My heart pounded in my chest as I reached his door and knocked harder than I intended.

A door | Source: Pexels

A door | Source: Pexels

“Come in,” Jack called, his deep, calm voice carrying through the door.

I stepped inside, and he looked up from his desk, his brow knitting in confusion when he saw me.

“Julianne?” He stood, concern flashing in his sharp, gray eyes. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

I didn’t bother with pleasantries. My hands trembled as I crossed the room and set Raymond’s phone on his desk.

A cell phone on a desk | Source: Pexels

A cell phone on a desk | Source: Pexels

“I have something important to tell you, Jack. It’s about Vera and…” I faltered, my voice catching. “You’ll need to see it for yourself.”

He gestured for me to sit, but I stayed standing. His gaze didn’t leave me as he picked up the phone and scrolled through the messages. With each swipe, his face darkened. His jaw tightened, and his grip on the phone grew rigid.

“Goddammit, Vera,” he muttered under his breath, his calm veneer cracking.

A stressed man | Source: Midjourney

A stressed man | Source: Midjourney

He set the phone down with more force than necessary and pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly. I thought he might explode, but instead, he grabbed a notepad from his desk and flipped it open. His movements were precise and deliberate.

“We need a plan,” he said, his tone clipped and businesslike.

I blinked at him, startled by his composure. “You’re not… shocked? Hurt?”

“No, I’m furious,” he said, meeting my eyes.

A furious man | Source: Midjourney

A furious man | Source: Midjourney

His voice was calm, but there was a dangerous edge beneath it. “Vera’s always been mercurial, but this time she’s gone too far.”

He tapped his pen against the notepad, his jaw set. “I’m filing for divorce. And I’m going to help you do the same. With evidence like this, they don’t stand a chance.”

I sank into the chair across from him, my earlier fury replaced by something steadier.

“Jack,” I said, my voice soft. “Thank you.”

A grateful woman | Source: Midjourney

A grateful woman | Source: Midjourney

His lips pressed into a thin line as he began scribbling notes. “Don’t thank me yet. This is going to be messy. But they’ve left us no choice. We’ll have to move fast, even if it means I have to pull some strings. This is what we’re going to do…”

Jack continued taking notes as he outlined his plan. My resolve solidified as I took it all in. I was a little awed by how quickly he calculated each step, but mostly, I was relieved.

I wasn’t alone in this fight. Jack and I would make sure Vera and Raymond paid for their betrayal, and that neither of us would be left picking up the pieces alone.

A lawyer in his office | Source: Midjourney

A lawyer in his office | Source: Midjourney

That evening, Vera and Jack joined Raymond and me for dinner. I’d texted Vera the invite the minute I got home. I’d then called Ray’s office to tell him he’d left his phone at home.

“Oh my God,” he muttered, a hint of panic in his voice. “Just… switch it off and put it in my nightstand drawer, okay?”

“Sure, honey,” I replied. “By the way, Jack and Vera will be joining us for dinner tonight. Could you pick up a bottle of wine on the way home?”

A woman speaking on her cell phone | Source: Midjourney

A woman speaking on her cell phone | Source: Midjourney

Next, I arranged for Ethan to sleep over at a friend’s house. By the time we sat down to dinner that evening, all the pieces of Jack’s plan were in place.

I poured a large glass of wine and set it down in front of Vera.

“Oh, no wine for me, Jules.” She pointedly stared at Raymond. “I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately.”

“I guess that makes sense,” I replied. “The first trimester is rough and pregnant women aren’t supposed to drink, are they?”

Wine glasses on a table | Source: Pexels

Wine glasses on a table | Source: Pexels

Vera’s fork clattered against her plate, and Raymond’s hand tightened on the edge of the table.

“Oh, don’t act surprised,” I said. “I know about the affair, the baby, and your little plans to leave me with nothing.”

Jack, who had been waiting for his cue, produced two folders and rose from his seat.

“These are your divorce papers,” he said, slapping one folder down in front of Vera before placing the other in front of Ray. “And these are yours.”

Divorce papers | Source: Pexels

Divorce papers | Source: Pexels

Raymond turned to me, panic flooding his eyes. “Julianne, please…”

“You don’t get to talk!” I snapped, my voice trembling with rage. “You’ve destroyed everything, and for what? Her?”

Raymond looked at Vera, who was openly crying now, then back at me. He didn’t answer. He just stared at the table, defeated.

An emotional man | Source: Midjourney

An emotional man | Source: Midjourney

In the weeks that followed, Jack and I worked like a team. He was relentless in court, helping me secure a settlement that ensured Ethan and I would be fine.

Raymond lost his assets, his reputation, and whatever shred of decency he thought he had left. Jack filed for full custody of his children, and Vera was left scrambling.

The scandal tore through our small town. Everyone knew what had happened, and neither Raymond nor Vera could walk into the grocery store without whispers trailing them.

People in a grocery store | Source: Pexels

People in a grocery store | Source: Pexels

One evening, as I watched Ethan play in the yard, I felt a strange sense of peace. My life wasn’t what I thought it was. It was messy, complicated, and painful. But it was mine, and I was free to shape it into something new.

Here’s another story: Mia’s thrilled when her unruly son, Jack, returns from a weekend at Grandma’s house as a model of discipline, but his strange transformation leaves her uneasy. Determined to uncover what happened, Mia’s questions lead her to a dangerous revelation. 

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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