Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My Dad Left Me When I Was 13 — Ten Years Later, I Saw Him on the Side of the Road Hitchhiking with a Little Girl
The man Mom and I loved to the core tore our hearts apart and abandoned us when I was 13. Ten years later, I pulled over for a hitchhiker, only to see my dad with a little girl by his side. The scars never faded. Will this new encounter heal them or deepen the wound?
The day my dad left, the world lost its color. I remember standing in our driveway, watching his car disappear around the corner. The rubber of his tires on the asphalt made a sound I’ll never forget, like hope being slowly crushed…
Silhouette of a sad girl | Source: Midjourney
“Dad!” I screamed, running after him. “Dad, come back!”
But he didn’t. He just… left. No explanation, no goodbye. Just gone.
I turned to look at my mom, Crystal. She stood in the doorway, her face brimming with shock and disbelief. “Mom?” I whispered, my voice small and scared.
She blinked, seeming to remember I was there. “Oh, Ellie, come here, baby.”
Distressed mother hugging her daughter | Source: Midjourney
I ran into her arms, burying my face in her shirt. It smelled like home, like safety. But even as she held me, I could feel her shaking.
“Why did he go, Mom?” I had asked, my words muffled against her. “Why did Dad leave us?”
She stroked my hair, her touch gentle but unsteady. “I don’t know, sweetie. I just don’t know.”
An upset girl with her eyes downcast | Source: Midjourney
As we stood there, clinging to each other, I made a silent promise to be strong for her. I had to be.
“We’ll be okay, Mom,” I said, trying to sound braver than I felt. “We’ve got each other.”
She squeezed me tighter, and I felt a tear drop onto my head. “Yes, we do, Ellie. We always will.”
A desperate young girl crying | Source: Pixabay
Ten years passed in a blur of struggle and slow healing. Mom and I became a team, facing the world together. We had our rough patches. Times when the absence of my dad felt like a physical ache.
But we made it through. We had each other. It was enough. And then, in an instant, everything changed.
I was driving home from work on a busy highway one evening, the setting sun painting the sky in shades of orange and pink.
A woman driving a car | Source: Unsplash
The radio played softly, some pop song about lost love that I barely registered. My mind was on dinner plans and the pile of laundry waiting for me at home.
That’s when I saw them.
A man and a little girl, standing on the side of the highway, thumbs out. Something about the man’s posture, the way he stood protectively next to the girl, made my heart skip a beat. I slowed down, squinting through the windshield.
No. It couldn’t be.
A man standing with a little girl on the roadside | Source: Midjourney
I pulled over, my hands shaking as I put the car in park.
In the rearview mirror, I watched them approach. The little girl skipped along, holding the man’s hand and chattering away. AND THE MAN…?
My blood ran cold. It was HIM… my DAD.
A shocked young woman’s eyes | Source: Midjourney
He looked older, of course. His hair was grayer, his face more lined and exhausted. But there was no mistaking those eyes, the same eyes I saw every time I looked in the mirror.
I got out of the car on unsteady legs, my mouth dry. “Need a ride?” I called out, my voice sounding strange to my own ears.
A startled young woman | Source: Midjourney
He turned, a grateful smile starting to form on his face. Then he saw me, and the smile vanished, replaced by shock and something that looked a lot like shame.
“Ellie?” he gasped, his eyes wide.
The little girl looked between us, confusion clear on her face. “Do you know her, Bill?” she asked.
Bill. Not Dad. Just… Bill. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay calm.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I know her.”
A smiling girl looking up | Source: Pexels
The car ride was tense, filled with an awkward silence that seemed to suck all the air out of the vehicle.
I gripped the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles turned white. I focused on the road ahead to avoid looking at the man in my passenger seat, the man who was supposed to be my father.
The man who had so easily abandoned his family. The man who had so heartlessly moved on, breaking our hearts while building a sand castle of his own.
The little girl hummed quietly in the backseat, oblivious to the emotional storm brewing in the front.
A young woman sitting in a car | Source: Midjourney
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Tell me that’s not my sister,” I said, breaking the silence.
My dad flinched as if I’d struck him with an axe. He stared straight ahead, his hands clasped tightly in his lap.
“Her name’s Sarah. She’s… she’s not your sister, Ellie. Not by blood.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. But that didn’t make it any easier for me.
“Then who is she?”
Portrait of a sad senior man | Source: Midjourney
Dad sighed, his shoulders slumping as though he was carrying the whole world’s burden.
“She’s the daughter of someone I’ve been with for a few years,” he admitted. “Her mom… she left us a few months back. I’ve been doing my best to take care of Sarah. Moved here last month.”
The irony of his situation wasn’t lost on me. I let out a bitter laugh.
“Wow. So you know what it feels like now? To be left behind? To be abandoned by someone you love? Ever heard of the infamous saying, ‘What goes around comes around?!’”
A sad man’s eyes | Source: Midjourney
Dad’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t argue. “I’ve made mistakes, Ellie. A lot of them. But I’m trying to make up for it, even if it’s too late for you and your mom.”
I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes. “Do you have any idea what you did to us? How hard it was for us? For me? Can you imagine how kids at school teased and bullied me? How Mom struggled alone to raise me and play both Dad and Mom for me?”
In the rearview mirror, I saw Sarah’s confused face. She didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of this. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
A woman sitting in a car turning to her side | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry,” Dad whispered. “I know it doesn’t change anything, but I am so, so sorry.”
“Sorry? You don’t stab a person in the heart and say sorry!”
“Ellie, please forgive me… I’m sorry. Really.”
I didn’t respond. What could I say? Sorry won’t erase ten years of absence, of wondering why I wasn’t enough to make him stay. Sorry won’t magically bring back the happiness that was once stolen from Mom and me.
A teary-eyed woman in a car | Source: Midjourney
As we neared the address he’d given me, Sarah spoke up from the backseat. “Are you Bill’s friend?”
I met her eyes in the mirror, seeing the curiosity there. For a moment, I considered telling her the truth. But looking at her hopeful face, I couldn’t bring myself to shatter her little world.
“Something like that,” I said softly, forcing a smile. “A forgotten friend.”
I pulled up to the curb, my hands shaking. The silence that had haunted me during the ride now felt suffocating.
A car outside a house | Source: Midjourney
My dad unbuckled his seatbelt, his movements slow and hesitant. He turned to face me, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with regret.
“Thank you for the ride, Ellie. I… I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know how sorry I am. For everything.”
I stared straight ahead, unable to look at him. My throat felt tight, choked with all the words I wanted to say but couldn’t.
A distressed senior man | Source: Midjourney
“Take care of her,” I finally whispered, nodding towards Sarah in the backseat. “Don’t screw this up like you did with us. It’s very easy to break someone’s heart and walk away. Don’t do that to her.”
He nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I will. I promise.”
As he got out of the car, Sarah leaned forward. “Thank you for the ride, Miss Ellie,” she said brightly. “It was nice to meet you!”
A young girl smiling | Source: Pexels
I turned to her, managing a small smile. “It was nice to meet you too, Sarah. Take care of yourself, okay?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I will! Bye!”
I watched as they walked away, Sarah’s small hand in my dad’s larger one. They looked like a normal father and daughter, heading home after a long day.
But I knew the complicated truth that lay beneath that simple illusion.
Silhouette of a man and a little girl approaching their house | Source: Midjourney
As they disappeared from view, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. For years, I had carried the pain of my father’s abandonment, letting it shape my life and my relationships.
But seeing him now, I realized something important: I didn’t need his approval or his love to be whole.
I started the car, wiping away a stray tear. The sun had set completely now, the sky a deep, velvety blue. As I drove away, a warm, comforting feeling seeped into my heart. I had my own life to live, and I wasn’t going to let the past define me anymore.
A concerned young woman in a car | Source: Midjourney
My phone buzzed with a text from my mom, “Everything okay, honey? You’re usually home by now.”
I smiled, feeling a rush of love for the woman who had been both mother and father to me. “On my way, Mom,” I typed back. “I love you.”
As I hit send, I realized that sometimes, the family you choose is more important than the one you’re born into. And I had chosen well. I don’t need a father to shield or shower me with affection. I have the most powerful force in my universe: MY MOTHER.
A woman driving a car at night | Source: Unsplash
Here’s another story: I plotted a delicious revenge my fiancé deserved for cheating on me with his ex in a spa resort.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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