I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
Advertisement
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
At 80, Martha Stewart Breaks the Internet with Swimsuit Shot—Find Out Why She’s Still a Farm Queen
Martha Stewart, a well-known homemaker, is changing how we think about aging by confidently posing for swimsuit photoshoots in her eighties. At the same time, she happily embraces being a grandmother and enjoys the peaceful life on her farm.
When Martha posed for a swimsuit shoot, it caused quite a stir on social media, with many different opinions shared. But away from the spotlight of Hollywood, she finds joy in being with her grandchildren and appreciates the simple pleasures of farm life.
Martha made headlines in May 2023 when she appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 81 years old, showing a new view of aging. The photoshoot highlighted elegance and confidence in later life.
In one photo, she relaxed on a fancy sofa surrounded by lush greenery and stylish decor, showing a sense of calm and glamour. Another image featured her in a chic silver swimsuit and large sunglasses, with a joyful look on her face. In another shot, she wore a bold red dress against a stone background, smiling confidently.
Martha’s Sports Illustrated cover sparked many reactions online, with some people criticizing her looks and the way the photos were presented. One person said, “Grow up…you look absurd,” while another commented on her legs, calling them “chicken legs.” Others joined in, saying things like, “OMG Give it up old woman. I can’t stand her.” Some comments questioned the editing of the photos, with one person saying, “The airbrushing makes her look 30 years old. If she’s so proud of being 81, then show your real face!”
Comments also critiqued her styling, with one user saying, “Pull that press-on wig, Martha!!! Hey, whatever floats her boat!” Others were short and direct, with one saying, “I cannot unsee this,” and another expressing, “Shame on her. Exploiting humans is the opposite of what a cook does.”
Even with the mixed feedback, Martha’s personal life shows she has a strong family bond. She often spends time with her grandchildren, Jude and Truman, who are her daughter Alexis’s kids. Martha enjoys hosting special events for them, including themed birthday parties and holiday meals at her farm.
The farm is a special place for Jude and Truman, where they enjoy picking vegetables and feeding animals. Martha once shared that the kids said a day working on the farm was “perhaps the best day so far.”
Martha’s 152-acre farm in Katonah, New York, known as “Bedford Farm” or “Cantitoe Corners,” has been her home since 2000. She has made it into a retreat with a horse farm, guesthouses, greenhouses, flower gardens, and a chef’s kitchen, blending rustic charm with modern luxury.
The farm’s layout is well-organized, featuring a central farmhouse, trimmed hedges, and stone pathways. This careful design reflects the attention she gave to her first famous home, Turkey Hill. She bought this Connecticut farmhouse in 1973 for $46,000 with her then-husband Andrew, which became the base of her brand.
Over time, she transformed the early 19th-century, three-bedroom house on four acres into a five-bedroom, 6,710-square-foot home. She sold Turkey Hill in 2007 for $6.7 million, making it a symbol of her early success.
Martha’s farm also includes a specially designed greenhouse where she can enjoy fresh produce year-round. Located behind her equipment barn, the mostly glass structure captures sunlight with programmable windows for ventilation and cooling, minimizing the need for artificial heating.
Inside, the greenhouse features 16 wooden garden boxes that promote healthy plant growth by improving drainage and preventing soil compaction. Each box is labeled with watering instructions for easy plant care. Martha grows various cold-hardy vegetables, like root crops and brassicas, which thrive in winter.
She also uses grow lights that mimic natural sunlight, ensuring plants get the light they need for growth. Built-in fans keep air moving, creating an ideal environment for year-round gardening.
Martha’s commitment to her farm and greenhouse shows her love for sustainable practices and fresh, homegrown ingredients. From her famous Turkey Hill home to her carefully tended greenhouse, she has created spaces that reflect her passion for nature and design, along with her belief in purposeful living.
Every part of her property, from the raised garden beds to the greenhouse, shows her hands-on approach and love for beauty and practicality. Through these efforts, Martha inspires others to connect thoughtfully with the land, bringing nourishment and joy throughout the year.
Leave a Reply