Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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When No One Stepped Up, This Brave High Schooler Did the Unthinkable During the National Anthem!
There are few things that get people excited like a passionate performance of the Star-Spangled Banner.
Just ask anyone who watched Jackson Dean Nicholson, a senior at Arundel High School in Maryland, a few years ago.
We’re not talking about his performance on the football field, but his pre-game singing of the national anthem. He wowed the home crowd and thousands of people online.
According to reports, Nicholson realized no one else was ready to sing the national anthem before his school’s game. He could have let the school play a recording or let the crowd sing themselves.
But Nicholson did something different. Before the game started, he stood alone on the field with just an acoustic guitar and a microphone and sang the national anthem.
He quickly delivered one of the best versions of the U.S. national anthem we’ve ever heard. It’s no surprise that the video became a viral hit and has resurfaced in popularity time and time again.
The video was first uploaded in 2018, and the fact that it’s still impressive now shows just how well Nicholson can sing.
“It was very cool. I probably knew 90 percent of the people sitting in those stands, and they had no idea I was doing it until I brought my guitar out,” Nicholson told the Baltimore Sun at the time.
While he was playing as a senior defensive end during his five minutes of fame, music is Nicholson’s true passion. He has been writing and singing songs since he was a freshman and was working on his own album around the same time he went viral.
Since there’s already a famous actor named Jack Nicholson, he chose the stage name Jackson Dean.
Talking about his football career in 2018, Jackson said: “This is my last year, then I’m done. I’ve got until January, I’ll have all my credits done, and I only have to be enrolled for this semester. I got a waiver from my principal and she’s very supportive of what I do. I’m going to go for it.”
Good luck, Jackson!
We can’t get over how amazing Jackson’s performance was, and we want as many people as possible to see it.
If you thought Jackson’s performance was brilliant, share this article to show your support!
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