Let’s start with a sobering reality check: although dating a married man can seem like an exhilarating roller coaster ride, those tracks frequently end in an emotional crash. What begins as a seductive diversion could turn into you and your spouse juggling a difficult divorce and grieving family. And should he decide to divorce his wife, you may have to deal with a future tainted with resentment and mistrust due to previous upheaval. We promise that the heartache won’t be worth it.
1. You are not going to be the top priority.
First things first: you will never be a married man’s first priority if he has a wife and children. Even while he might try to convince you that he no longer loves his wife, his kids will always come first, especially if they’re small. His family obligations will always be a cloud over your affair, keeping him away when you most need him.
2. He Won’t Ever See Your Friends and Family
Consider this: how frequently can you take him to see your loved ones? There are very few intimate get-togethers where your significant someone eventually meets the people in your inner circle. There will always be secret meetings and skulking around, depriving you of the happiness that comes from discussing your connection with others.
3. It’s Unlikely That He Will Divorce His Wife
Admittedly, there aren’t many married men who genuinely leave their wives for their extramarital companions. The hard truth? Most likely, you’re not the only one. Children involved in a divorce create a huge mess, thus their emotional health will always come first. Thus, you might be left hanging forever.
4. You Might Face Penalties for Dismantling a Family
Prepare for a storm if the wife discovers. Imagine if their marriage failed, and guess who might be held accountable? You can become known as the “homewrecker,” which would be detrimental to your feeling of value and self-esteem. It’s a big emotional weight to bear.
5. You Will Have to Wait a Long Time
Consider this: even if he swears to divorce his wife, are you really going to stay and watch to see if he keeps his word? Is your time truly worth spending with this morally dubious individual when there are seven billion people on the planet? What prevents him from betraying you in the future if he can cheat on his wife?
6. You’re Not Getting the Chance to Meet a Single Man
Rather from wishing that one day he will pick you over his wife, put your efforts into finding a compatible partner. Your chances of discovering genuine, unconditional love with someone who isn’t already in a committed relationship are reduced if you start acting like “the other woman.”
7. He Doesn’t Offer You Support When You Need It
Having a support system in a committed relationship is a wonderful thing, especially when times are hard. But a married man involved in an extramarital affair is taking on too much responsibility. He must split his attention between you, his wife, and his children, therefore he is unable to provide you with complete emotional support. Be ready for inconsistent support and occasional appearances.
8. You Have a Short Term
We hate to break the news to you, but if you’re accused of “having an affair,” this relationship probably won’t last long. Paradoxically, he is less likely to leave his wife the longer the affair continues. It turns into a vicious circle of broken promises and postponement.
9. Hiding Is Tiresome
It stinks to live in the shadows. Your self-esteem will suffer and you will be deprived of the opportunity to freely and blissfully experience love if you keep your relationship hidden. Envision the uncomplicated liberty of clasping hands in public or dining together without the apprehension of being discovered. It’s freeing.
So, carefully consider these points before starting or continuing an affair with a married man. Think about your emotional health and your future. You should have someone who can give you their whole attention, free from tangled relationships and ulterior motives.
Stay amazing and make smart decisions!
‘Little Miss Dynamite’ blew up the charts when she was only 12: The story of Brenda Lee
Brenda Lee’s name may not be as recognizable as some of the other music stars from the 1960s but when you think of Christmas, you’ll know her song, and start humming her catchy tune, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”
When Lee, now 78, first hit the stage, she wasn’t old enough to drive but her powerful vocals steered her “unprecedented international popularity” as the most successful female artist of the 1960s.
Lee, whose voice defied her diminutive stature at only 4 foot 9, became a fan favorite when she was only 12.
Brenda May Tarpley, born in 1944, got her start in the late 1940s, became huge in the 1950s, and over her career–that started before she left elementary school–she topped the charts 55 times, earning the title as the most successful female recording artist of the 1960s.
When Lee was only eight (according to Rolling Stone), her father, a construction worker, was killed at work and little Brenda–who then changed her last name to Lee–became the family’s primary provider.
Taking care of her younger brother, big sister, and mother–a cotton mill worker–was not a duty, but something she wanted to do. She said that she was thrilled when she made her first $20, so she could help her family: “Even at that young age, I saw that helped our life,” Lee said, adding “It put some food on the table. It helped, and I loved it.”
The Atlanta-born chanteuse, called a “pioneer of early rock and roll,” by the Georgia Encyclopedia, achieved “unprecedented international popularity in the 1960s.”
But, an incredibly humble human, Lee credits those who helped her achieve her dreams. When Christianity Today asked what she thinks about being a legend, Lee said “I don’t think of myself that way!” She continued, “I’m just a girl who’s been blessed to be doing what I’m doing, and there’s a lot of people who’ve sweated a lot of tears and put a lot of life’s work into me to be able to have my dream. So, if I’m a legend, then they’re legends, too.”
In 1956, the young girl joined country star Red Foley for a show at the Bell Auditorium near her home in Augusta, and she belted out “Jambalaya,” by Hank Williams.
She was then signed to appear on Foley’s Ozark Jubilee, a country music show, where millions of viewers fell in love with the sassy 12-year-old whose talent was developed well beyond her age.
In the same year, Lee signed with Decca Records, and the next year, she moved to Nashville, Tennessee, and fusing country with rhythm and blues–highlighted by her hiccupping vocals–she recorded early rockabilly classics like “BIGELOW 6-200,” “Little Jonah,” and “Let’s Jump the Broomstick.”
When asked if–when as a young girl–she was nervous performing in front of large crowds, she answered: “No, not really. Nobody ever told me to be nervous. The stage always felt like a hometown to me because I had been in front of people ever since I was 3 years old, singing to people. So it was a very comfortable spot for me.”
In 1957, Lee earned the nickname “Little Miss Dynamite” for her pint-sized powerhouse recording of the song “Dynamite,” and in 1958, fans heard “Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree,” a genre and generation-crossing holiday standard, released when she was only 13.
“I knew it was magical,” she told Rolling Stone.
Over the next couple of years, she charted with hits like “Sweet Nuthin’s,” “All Alone Am I,” and “Fool #1.”
Most of her songs, however, contradicted her experience as a young girl. Her mother didn’t let her date and she graduated high school not understanding the heartbreak of young love.
She was only 16 when she said “Love could be so cruel” in the song “I’m Sorry” and only 16 when she said “I want his lips to kiss me” in the song “I Want to be Wanted,” both back-to-back hits when she was still in school.
And when she turned 18, she met Ronnie Shacklett, whom she’s now been happily married to for 60 years.
Life on the road for Lee as a youngster had its difficulties. She celebrated her 12th birthday in Las Vegas and speaking with the Las Vegas Journal, Lee explained her loneliness.
“Of course, I wasn’t even allowed to walk through a casino, I was so young. So I didn’t even know what a casino looked like. They took me into the kitchen, then into the showroom. And then when my show was over, I was brought back out through the kitchen and back up to my room. Children weren’t allowed … in the casino area.” She continued, “There wasn’t anything to do in Vegas for a kid. The most fun I had was on the stage.”
Speaking on what she missed out on as a child, the award-winning Lee said, “Many times, I yearned to be with my friends rather than be out there on the road.”
Turns out she made new friends on the road, like with the music group that opened for her at a 1962 show in Germany. “I hung out with John,” she says effortlessly, speaking of John Lennon. “He was extremely intelligent, very acerbic with his jokes, just a gentle person. When I found out that they later said they were fans of my music, I was just floored.”
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