Every day, moms have a lot on their plates.
Managing multiple responsibilities throughout the day, like cleaning their children’s sticky hands and faces, folding laundry, ensuring they eat breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school, leaves parents with a lot on their plates and little time for relaxation.
No matter how hard they try, there will always be some sort of mishap—such as a toy you trip over, a glass of milk that gets knocked over, or a stain somewhere—waiting around the corner.
The luxury of taking a quick shower before going to bed or spending some alone time is something that many mothers cannot afford.
A mother who has seen it all, Heather Duckworth, recently wrote a piece in which she touched on some of the things we take for granted as parents.
A crucial component of that process is the mess that children make as they transform before our own eyes into the people we’ve always thought they’ll become.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that our kids will use the messes we cleaned up when they were adults as the greatest evidence to the upbringing we provided for them, so it’s worthwhile to make an effort to find happiness even in the middle of turmoil.
Unfortunately, not every woman gets to witness the chaos and disarray that kids bring about.
Not all parents are able to experience the happiness that children bring into their life, either.
Many new and expecting mothers connected with Heather’s widely shared post , “The Blue Stain.”
As Heather washed the grout her daughter had created with the slime, her heart began to race as she recalled the catastrophe she had to clean up all those years prior.
This mother would think, “My hands were full, but so was my heart,” after a demanding day of chasing after her two-year-old triplets and her four-year-old elder brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the mountains of laundry she was unable to finish that day.
Heather and her two sons danced to the radio as they cleaned up the playroom before calling it a night.
It was the last time they would laugh so hard for a while, no one could have anticipated.
She was about to go to sleep herself when she heard one of the boys say, “Uh, Oh,” and she noticed the enormous blue stain that would follow her about for the rest of her life.
One of the triplets’ pens exploded in his hand, splattering ink all over the place. Blue pajamas, hands, and face gave the appearance that the little child was a smurf.
Heather became enraged and felt like a lousy mother as she watched.
Although she hadn’t been upset with her son, she did blame herself since she’d placed the pen in a place where kids could readily get to it. She gave in to her emotions.
“When I noticed blue splatters all over the floor and a large pool of ink seeping into our brand-new carpet, I panicked. My husband had been doing the dishes, so I hurriedly shouted for him to come help me. My spouse began cleaning those vivid blue stains off of our carpet as soon as I got my son and took him to the toilet to clean him up. I was immediately upset.
Heather would often get angry and frustrated when she spotted the stain on the brand-new carpet. Up until the day it was eventually removed, the stain represented all the amazing experiences she shared with her sons.
A month after the little child spilled blue paint on the carpet, he was given a cancer diagnosis. Two years later, he passed away, leaving the stain as a reminder of their time together.
It remained in place, but now it served as a continual reminder of my kid. It served as a continual reminder of my annoyance at something so little and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
The blue stain served as a continual reminder that although life is messy, it is still worthwhile. a persistent prompt to stop worrying about the little things. a continual reminder that people matter more than “things.” a continuous reminder that mishaps do occur. a continual reminder to hold fast to what is important and let go of the trivial things.
She attempted to hide the bright blue stain with the furniture, but each time she tidied the space, it was there, glaring back at her, a constant reminder of her loss and the grief she was still experiencing.
The purpose of Heather’s narrative is to serve as a reminder of how frequently we forget to see the small things in life that bring us purpose and take life for granted. She feels compelled to tell all the mothers out there that the toys scattered around and the filthy clothes are what actually provide their homes a feeling of security and comfort for their family.
As Heather puts it, those messes caused by the people we care about the most are what give our lives meaning because the day will come when we will truly miss those times.”If it meant I could spend one more day with my son, I would gladly have a million blue ink stains on my carpet.”
She gives mothers this advice: try not to become so engrossed in the world that you lose out on spending valuable time with your children. Prioritize what really important in life since it’s too short to waste time cleaning stains!
My husband surprised me on my birthday — when I saw who emerged from the gift box, I burst into tears
As Amelia’s 30th birthday approaches, her husband, Jared, keeps hinting at a major surprise for her, causing her imagination to grow wild. On the day of her birthday party, she discovers that her birthday surprise is a man who she never wanted to see again…
I could tell that something was up. My husband, Jared, had been buzzing for weeks about this “life-changing” gift. Every day, another cryptic comment came my way.
“You’ll love it, babe, trust me!” Jared would say, practically bouncing on his feet.
When I asked him about it, he’d just smirk and say, “You’ll see!”
Honestly, by the time my birthday party rolled around, I was convinced that it was something practical. Like maybe an appliance, or the recliner with the massage functions I’d been eyeing. I would have been happy with the ice cream machine that I wanted, but honestly, Jared’s enthusiasm made me feel good that he’d gone to so much trouble.
“You’re worth all the effort, Amelia,” he said. “I just want you to feel special and know that I listen and I care.”
So when he walked in on my birthday, he struggled to roll in a massive gift box much bigger than our washing machine.
“A freezer?” I asked, laughing. “I always said we needed more space for leftovers.”
Jared winked at me and shook his head.
“You’re not even close,” he said.
I should’ve noticed the way some of our friends shifted awkwardly when he said that. Or how my mom suddenly became very interested in rearranging the snack table. But I didn’t. I was too wrapped up in the excitement and anticipation of the moment.
The party was in full swing by then. Friends, coworkers, and even some of Jared’s relatives had shown up. There were people that I hadn’t seen in a while, and everyone I cared about was there, sipping on their drinks and chatting loudly.
After about ten minutes, Jared clinked his glass to get everyone’s attention, and the room quieted.
“Alright, babe,” Jared said, his eyes practically gleaming. “Are you ready for your life-changing gift, Amelia?”
I nodded, my heart racing. Even if it wasn’t anything amazing, it was Jared’s joy that was highly addictive. He told me to close my eyes. And I heard some shuffling and the sound of the box moving slightly.
People giggled.
And then someone said, “Oh my God,” under their breath, and I could hear Jared counting down.
“Three… two… one…”
I opened my eyes, and my breath caught in my throat.
Standing there, grinning from ear to ear, was my father.
My father.
I could barely process it. The room spun for a moment, the laughter around me faded into a dull hum, and all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears.
The flashbacks hit me like a freight train.
Suddenly, I could see my father stumbling home drunk while I had friends over. I could see my mom crying at the kitchen table, bills spread out in front of her. I could remember my father helping himself to the little wooden box that I kept in my nightstand where I put all my savings from babysitting.
And I remembered how he blew it all on gambling and alcohol.
And the countless nights where he just never came home. Not to mention the day he packed up and left us, leaving us with nothing but a mountain of debt and broken promises.
And now, here he was. Right in front of me. At my 30th birthday party.
“Hey there, kiddo!” he said loudly.
His voice slurred a bit, exactly how I remembered it from my childhood. He wobbled slightly as he stepped forward, arms out like he was expecting a hug.
I froze.
My chest tightened, my stomach twisted into knots. This man reeked of whiskey and cigarettes, his face flushed red with a buzz. A few people clapped, most likely thinking that this was a sweet reunion.
But they had no idea.
“Surprised, babe?” Jared asked, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me.
He wrapped his arms around me, beaming.
“I tracked Patrick down. I knew that you hadn’t seen him in years, but I figured that it would be great to bring him back into your life for your birthday.”
My father’s grin widened.
“Yeah, it’s been too long, hasn’t it, Amelia?”
His eyes scanned our home, not settling on me for more than a second.
“This is a nice party,” he said. “And this is a nice house. I bet it cost a pretty penny, huh? How many bedrooms do you have? Because I’m staying at a motel for the weekend. Didn’t know how long I was going to be here…”
I felt my throat close up. This wasn’t happening. There was no way that he was here. This was supposed to be my birthday. It was supposed to be my day.
And instead? It felt like I had been thrown back into my worst memories, trapped in a nightmare with no escape.
“Amelia? Sweetheart?” Jared’s voice was soft now, noticing my stillness and the absence of the joy that he thought I’d have by now. “You okay?”
I wasn’t okay. I couldn’t breathe.
Then, like some sick punchline, my dad patted Jared on the back, leaning in too close.
“Hey, kiddo, Jared, do you guys think that you could lend me a little something? Just for old-time’s sake? You know, for my troubles getting here. It was expensive.”
My husband blinked, confused. I wasn’t. This was exactly who he was. This was exactly who he had always been. This man was always looking for a handout. He was always ready to take more from the people he claimed to care about.
The room felt too small. The walls were closing in. And I needed to get out.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered to Jared.
Without waiting for a response, I turned and bolted out of the living room, ignoring the shocked looks from everyone. My heels clicked loudly on the pavement as I ran.
I ran upstairs to our bedroom, slamming the door behind me. My chest heaved as I collapsed onto the bed.
“How could he actually come back and show his face?” I asked the empty room.
I thought about my mother and my heart broke all over again. I hadn’t even checked on her before running out.
Minutes passed, maybe even hours. I completely lost track. All I could think about was the teenage girl I had been when my father broke my heart on the daily.
Finally, the door creaked open, and Jared slipped in quietly, his face pale. He stood in the doorway for a moment as if unsure whether he should approach me or not.
“I had no idea, sweetheart, your mom filled me in now,” he said. “When we were talking about your father a few months ago, I just thought that maybe there was a yearning of sorts. And you wanted him back in. I thought you wanted this.”
I shook my head, wiping away more tears than I knew had fallen.
“No, I didn’t want this, Jared,” I said. “I just mentioned him because we were eating that pumpkin pie and that’s the one good memory I have of him. The two of us sitting on the couch and eating pumpkin pie. I’ve never wanted this man back in my life.”
Jared was quiet.
“He gambled away everything we had, Jared. He broke us. And left us with nothing.”
My husband reached for my hand, squeezing it gently.
“I’m so sorry, Amelia. If I knew about this, I would never have reached out.”
“I know,” I said. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, and I know how excited you’ve been about this whole thing. I just didn’t imagine that my father would pop out of a box.”
We sat in silence for a while, and I could hear the party winding down slowly. My father was probably long gone by now, slinking away like the ghost he’d become.
“Right, come on down and eat something,” my mother’s voice said as her head peeped through the door.
“I’m so sorry, Julia,” Jared told her. “I didn’t know about Patrick.”
“Oh, honey,” my mother said. “It’s more than okay. Before he left, I gave him a good piece of my mind. If anything, I’m sorry Amelia had to see him. But I am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to tell this man exactly how I feel about him.”
I smiled.
“I’m glad, Mom,” I said, getting off the bed. I was starving.
“There’s pizza and hamburgers and a lot of salad. There’s also about thirty-seven uneaten cupcakes,” my mother said.
“Coming,” I said.
It wasn’t the birthday I expected. It wasn’t the celebration I’d hoped for. But in the end, my mother had gotten her peace, and I was grateful.
What would you have done?
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