These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
My 7-Year-Old Son Kept Coming Home from School Upset — the Reason Left Me Stunned
When Daniel, Sarah, and their son, Derril, move to a new city, they take some time to readjust to the new place. One positive about the move is that Derril’s school focuses on soccer, his favorite sport. Soon after, things get strange when the little boy notices his soccer coach hugging his mom…
Recently, our lives changed when my wife, Sarah, landed a promising new job. It meant uprooting our lives and moving to a new city, but we were optimistic about the future.
A woman in a business suit holding paperwork | Source: Midjourney
“We need this, Daniel,” Sarah said. “We need to plan for our future, and we also need a new start. Living here has become stale.”
“I agree,” I said. “And we need a better life for Derril.”
Our seven-year-old son, Derril, was especially excited about the move because we enrolled him in a school with a soccer club, which was the one sport that he absolutely loved.
A smiling little boy | Source: Midjourney
Sarah and I were thrilled to see him so passionate about something, especially because we knew that moving would be a big adjustment for him.
“I’m happy about the move, Dad,” he told me one day when we were buying him a new pair of soccer boots. “My old school only cared about baseball and basketball, but soccer wasn’t important.”
“I’m glad that you’re happy about this,” I told him. “I want you to be happy with this move, too. We’re not just doing it because of Mom’s new job.”
A row of children’s soccer boots in a store | Source: Midjourney
He nodded enthusiastically.
A few months passed, and I had finally gotten into the routine of working from home. Thankfully, my career in cybersecurity meant that I could keep working at the same company following the move.
But, over time, I noticed a change in my son.
A man working on his laptop | Source: Midjourney
One day, he came home from school looking troubled, his usual enthusiasm dampened. His bright eyes seemed to lose their sparkle, and he became quieter and more withdrawn.
Whenever I tried to talk to him, he would just walk away, retreating into silence.
It was unlike Derril, and it worried me.
An upset little boy | Source: Midjourney
“Something is going on with him,” I told Sarah when I was making breakfast for the three of us before the day began.
“I know,” she nodded. “I’ve been seeing that, too. Whenever I try to talk to him, he looks at me for a moment before looking away.”
“Maybe it’s just part of adjusting to a new place? And making new friends, too? Because he’s still eating and sleeping as normal. So, until that changes, I think we’re okay,” I said.
A man in the kitchen | Source: Midjourney
But then the tipping point came one day when I walked into his room after school and found him crying.
Just looking at him devastated me.
“Derril, what’s wrong?” I asked gently, sitting beside him on the bed. “I need you to tell me everything. Enough time has passed, and I know you’re not okay.”
A crying little boy | Source: Midjourney
He looked up at me, tears brimming in his eyes, and took a deep, shaky breath.
“I don’t want Mr. Sanders to be my father!” he blurted out.
The words hit me like a punch to the gut.
Mr. Sanders was his new soccer coach, and he was someone whom Derril had admired up until now.
A soccer coach holding a tablet | Source: Midjourney
“Why would he become your father, Derril?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady and calm.
My son’s voice wavered as he explained.
“Yesterday, when Mom was picking me up from practice, he hugged her. And she didn’t push him away!”
Children playing soccer | Source: Midjourney
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead.
Sarah had been distant lately, but I always chalked it up to her being busy with her new job. I knew that it was going to be a rocky few months while we all adjusted. But at the same time, she seemed preoccupied, often lost in thought.
This, however, was something I couldn’t ignore.
A close-up of a shocked man | Source: Midjourney
Determined to uncover the truth, I logged off work early the next day and drove to the soccer field. Sarah usually fetched Derril from practice on her way home.
I parked far enough away to watch without being seen. I needed to know what was happening. I needed to know if Sarah and Mr. Sanders were romantically involved with each other.
As practice ended and the kids dispersed, I saw Sarah arrive. Moments later, Mr. Sanders approached her. They talked briefly, and then he placed a hand on her shoulder, leaning in close.
A man sitting in his car | Source: Midjourney
“They look way too comfortable,” I muttered to myself.
I watched as Sarah smiled but stepped back, looking around nervously, her eyes scanning the area as if she felt someone was watching.
“Yes, someone is watching,” I said to the car.
A woman standing outside while at soccer practice | Source: Midjourney
That night, I confronted my wife. I couldn’t take it any longer. I had made dinner and sat through the entire meal with doubts flooding my mind.
“Sarah, what’s going on with you and Mr. Sanders?” I asked straightforwardly.
Her face turned pale, and she took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
“There’s nothing going on, Daniel,” she said. “I swear! He’s just been supportive, that’s all!”
“Supportive how? Derril thinks that he’s trying to replace me,” I pressed on. “I need to know why.”
Sarah’s eyes widened in shock and disbelief.
A frowning man | Source: Midjourney
“What? No! That’s not true! He’s been helping me with something else… something that I haven’t told you about yet.”
She sat me down, her voice trembling as she revealed a secret she’d been keeping.
“I can’t believe this,” I exclaimed, wondering why on earth I agreed to the move.
A couple talking | Source: Midjourney
Apparently, Mr. Sanders had recognized a man from his past. A man who had ran in the same circles as him when he was off the rails and took part in unscrupulous activities.
“And not just any man, Daniel,” Sarah said. “He’s dangerous. And he has a history of stalking and violence. Mr. Sanders said that he has been keeping an eye on him, and he noticed that the man has been stalking me.”
“What?! Why didn’t you tell me? This is something for the police to handle!”
A man hiding in the shadows | Source: Midjourney
But my wife shook her head.
“Mr. Sanders has been trying to keep Derril and me safe. Because he noticed the man watching me during a few practice sessions.”
I put my head in my hands. Suddenly, the world felt too heavy for me. What dramatic television show had our lives become?
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
“Mr. Sanders suggested not pushing him away too obviously to avoid raising suspicion. I should have told you, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“We need to speak to him,” I said. “To Mr. Sanders. I need to hear this from him.”
Sarah nodded, her eyes shining with tears.
When we met with him, he corroborated Sarah’s account, showing us evidence of the man’s criminal activities.
A couple talking | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve spoken to one of my detective friends,” he said. “They can’t do anything about this guy until something actually happens. So, I’ve been trying to keep an eye on Sarah and Derril. And the house.”
I had no idea what to say.
A close-up of a man | Source: Midjourney
That night, Sarah and I sat down in the living room, trying to discuss the next steps and how to secure our home. Moments later, Derril burst into our room, his face frozen in shock.
“There’s someone outside my window!” he shrieked.
“Phone the police,” I told Sarah.
A person looking out of a room window | Source: Midjourney
I rushed to his room, picking up the baseball bat that we displayed in the hallway. And sure enough, a shadowy figure was lurking near the tree not too far from Derril’s window.
Moments later, we heard sirens and saw the flashing lights of police cars. They arrived swiftly, surrounding the house and apprehending the man.
The officers confirmed that the lurker was indeed the man that Mr. Sanders had warned us about, and now, because he was caught, he was taken into custody.
Two police officers | Source: Midjourney
“I’m so sorry for the confusion or distress I caused,” Mr. Sanders said when he visited us the next day.
He brought a box of pastries that Derril dug into immediately.
“The thing is, I know his type. When I met him before, he would find a young successful woman and fixate on her. When I saw him at soccer practice, I knew that he was after Sarah.
A box of desserts | Source: Midjourney
“How do you know him?” I asked.
“I had a rough past, too,” Mr. Sanders said. “But I just got caught up with the wrong crowd. I didn’t do anything to this extent.”
We thanked Mr. Sanders for his help, and he left our home.
A man walking down a driveway | Source: Midjourney
Now that the threat was removed, Sarah and Derril seemed perfectly fine. But I still didn’t feel good about this. As grateful as I was to Mr. Sanders, there was something that just didn’t feel right about anything.
I wanted to leave. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t want to stay here. I didn’t want my wife and child around Mr. Sanders.
A man looking out a window | Source: Midjourney
Leave a Reply