These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
My Sister and Her Family Took Over My House Without Asking — They Faced Instant Consequences That Same Day
I won’t deny that I sometimes envy my friends living in their fancy apartments downtown, but then I remember that this place is mine. No landlord breathing down my neck, and no roommates leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Just me and my space.
Now, let me introduce you to my sister, Holly.
She’s 38, a mother of two, and married to her high school sweetheart, Nicholas. We used to be close when we were younger, but things changed when she got married. She started focusing more on her new life, and I never blamed her. I believe she did what she thought was best for her.
We drifted apart, but we were still on good terms. Or so I thought.
Holly and Nicholas have always been the free-spirited types. They’re one of those people who’re always talking about “quitting the rat race” and “living life to the fullest.”
It used to drive me nuts when we’d get together for family dinners.
“Life’s too short to be stuck in a cubicle, Phoebe,” Holly would say, sipping her wine. “You should travel more, see the world!”
I’d roll my eyes.
“Some of us like having a steady paycheck and a roof over our heads, Holly.”
Nicholas would chime in, “But think of the experiences! The memories!”
Yeah, well, memories don’t pay the bills, buddy, I’d think.
I tried to tell them to be more careful with their money. They were always jetting off on last-minute trips or buying the latest gadgets, even with two young kids to think about.
But did they listen? Nope.
A few months ago, they actually did it. They sold their house during the market boom, thinking they’d use the profit to fund a year-long break to “travel the world.”
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.
“We’re doing it, Phoebe!” Holly squealed over the phone. “We sold the house!”
“What?” I nearly choked on my coffee. “Holly, are you serious? What about the kids’ school? Your jobs?”
“Oh, we’ll homeschool them on the road. It’ll be an education in itself! And we can always find work later. This is our chance to really live!”
I tried to talk some sense into her. I was really worried.
“Holly, have you really thought this through? Travel is expensive, especially with kids. What happens when the money runs out?”
“Don’t be such a worrywart, Phoebe,” she said, brushing off the concerns. “We’ve got it all figured out. We’ll stay in hostels, maybe do some volunteering for room and board. It’ll be fine!”
It was not fine. Not at all.
At first, their social media was full of pictures from nice hotels and fancy restaurants.
“Living the dream!” they’d caption every post.
But within two months, those posts started to dwindle.
The last one I saw was a grainy shot of them camping in some field, with a caption about “embracing the simple life.”
Then, radio silence for a few weeks. I thought they were just busy enjoying their travels, unaware of what was really happening behind the scenes.
One day, I came home from work, exhausted after a long day of meetings and deadlines. All I wanted was to kick off my shoes, pour a glass of wine, and binge-watch some trashy reality TV.
But as soon as I opened my front door, I knew something was off.
There were shoes I didn’t recognize in the entryway, kid-sized backpacks on the floor, and familiar voices coming from my living room.
I walked in, and there they were.
Holly, Nicholas, and their two kids. They were unpacking suitcases and boxes in MY living room.
“Holly?” I blurted out, squinting my eyes as I looked at the mess in my living room. “What… what are you doing here?”
“Oh, hi Phoebe!” Holly chirped. “Surprise! We’re back!”
“Back?” I repeated. “In my house?”
Then, Nicholas stepped forward, smiling like this was the most normal thing in the world.
“Yeah, we decided to cut the trip short,” he said. “Turns out, full-time travel with kids is harder than we thought!”
“And Mom gave us your spare key… the one you gave her for emergencies,” Holly added. “I knew you wouldn’t mind us crashing here for a bit while we figure things out. It’ll only be for a few months.”
“A few months?” I protested. “Holly, are you serious? You can’t just move into my house without asking me!”
“But… we’re family. I thought you’d be happy to help us out.”
“Happy?” I could feel my cheeks burning with anger. “Holly, this is my house. My space. You should’ve talked to me about this!”
“Now, now, Phoebe,” Nicholas interrupted. “Let’s not get too high and mighty here. Family helps family, right? It’s not like you’re using all this space anyway.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Where did this entitlement come from? Why were they acting like what they did was fine?
“You guys need to leave,” I said, crossing my arms on my chest. “Now.”
But Holly refused.
Meanwhile, Nicholas started subtly threatening me.
“Come on, Phoebe,” he began, looming over me. “Don’t make this difficult. We don’t have anywhere else to go.”
I was furious. If I called the cops, their young kids might get dragged into it, and I didn’t want that.
I needed to come up with a plan, so I headed straight to my bedroom and locked the door behind me.
At that point, I honestly felt like crying. I had no idea what to do until my phone buzzed. It was a text from my old college friend, Alex.
Hey Pheebs! In your area for work. Drinks tonight?
Alex was always the prankster in our friend group, always coming up with wild schemes. If anyone could help me out of this mess, it was him.
I quickly texted him back.
Actually, can you come over? I have a situation and could use your help. Bring your acting skills.
The doorbell rang an hour later, and I raced to answer it before Holly or Nicholas could. When I opened the door, I saw a police officer standing at my doorstep.
“Oh my God, Alex!” I looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re wearing the perfect costume!”
I quickly stepped outside and closed the door behind me.
“What happened, Pheebs?” he asked.
“I need your help getting rid of my relatives,” I told him, still fascinated by his fake police uniform. “They’ve completely taken over my house.”
I quickly explained the situation, and Alex agreed to help. Then, I opened the door and called out to Holly and Nicholas.
“Holly, Nicholas, can you come here please? There’s a police officer who needs to speak with us.”
They were smiling when they came into the hallway, but their expressions immediately changed when they saw Alex in his uniform.
“Good evening,” Alex said. “I’m Officer Johnson. We’ve received reports of a break-in at this address. Can you tell me what’s going on here?”
Nicholas looked at me, squinting his eyes. Then, he puffed up his chest and slowly walked toward Alex.
“There’s no break-in here, officer,” Nicholas said in a serious tone. “We’re family. Everything’s fine.”
“Officer, these people entered my home unlawfully,” I said. “I never gave them permission to be here.”
Alex nodded and then looked at Holly and Nicholas.
“How did you gain entry to this residence?” Alex asked.
“We, uh, we used a key,” Holly stammered. “Mom gave it to me. It was a, uh, spare key for emergencies.”
“But no one asked my permission,” I intervened. “So, technically, you broke in. Who knows what might be missing?”
“I see,” Alex said, looking around the house. “And when the homeowner asked you to leave, did you comply?”
“Now, hold on a minute,” Nicholas said, his voice trembling slightly. “We did—”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises immediately,” Alex cut him off, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. “Failure to do so could result in charges of breaking and entering, as well as trespassing.”
I wanted to laugh so hard watching Nicholas pretending to be a police officer. He was just amazing. His last sentence was enough to send Holly and Nicholas into a panic.
“We’re sorry…” Holly began. “We’ll pack up.”
They quickly began throwing their things into their bags.
“If you leave right now,” Alex said sternly, “I won’t file charges. But you’ll return the key and never trespass again.”
They didn’t need to be told twice. Alex and I watched in silence as they grabbed their kids and their bags and bolted out of the house.
I finally laughed once their car sped away.
“You’re a lifesaver, Alex,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “Coffee?”
“Sure!” he said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.
I quickly made two cups of coffee before we sat in my now-quiet living room.
“I can’t believe they just assumed they could live here,” Alex said, shaking his head.
“I know,” I sighed. “Part of me feels guilty, you know? They’re family, after all. But I just couldn’t let them freeload off me like that.”
“You did the right thing, Phoebe,” Alex reassured me. “They can’t just take advantage of you because their hare-brained scheme failed.”
“I’m so glad you messaged me at the right time, Alex,” I said, looking at my phone. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you. But why did you come dressed up like a police officer?”
“Oh, that,” Alex chuckled. “I was just messing around with friends, pulling pranks and all. I had no idea my costume would come in handy over here. What a coincidence, right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “What a coincidence.”
As we talked, I couldn’t help but think of the consequences of my actions. Had I done the right thing? Would this drive an irreparable wedge between me and my sister?
But then I looked around my living room. It was my space, and I had worked so hard for it. I thought about all the long hours and the sacrifices I’d made to buy a house and realized I couldn’t let Holly and Nicholas just take over everything.
I also realized it was okay to put myself first. It was okay to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
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